i won't cross these streets till you hold my hand...
{email}
Your history teacher hates you?? no...no...okay i can't lie to you. yeah, yeah its very likely actually. but i'll ask you this- do you deserve it? have you been working at all like you were supposed to?
I hate to hear that you're feeling bad. tell suz to save me some of that chocolate too, i need it right now. I've gone all pathetic and teary. Its very very wet here today, lots of horizontal rain which is fun (sarcasam and a little...not) because i had to walk to and back from drama in it. along the foreshore, where the rain was coming from. needless to say i was very very wet by the time i'd walked the seven or so minutes (it is a great number) there.
Raining though it is, i went to the bus stop as per usual to meet up with that damn dear irishman. we went phone shopping and i bought donny darco under his reccomendation and he bought baseketball under mine (can you believe hes never seen it? bah!). good fun. then i had to walk home in the rain in the opposite direction to him. it was very movie-ish cos i was crying and tears were mixing with rain. i didn't get a photo (still. why do i forget..) but hopefully i'll see him tomorrow. i'd better- i leave 9:20am saturday, which is the day after tomorrow. i hate it how time goes so fast sometimes...i really do. i wish i could just stop it flowing and just stop for a bit. i want to see you guys all so much but i don't want to come back homw right now. i honestly don't think i can handle it. i can't handle going back to school and back to routine and back to people who know my past and everything about me. its great to just be anonymous for a while, as weird as that sounds. it was so great to just come somewhere completley far away from home, where no-one knew me at all. i learned so much about myself, cliched as it is, i figured alot out. i think more than anything Jamie is going to end up as a symbol of all of this and i'll just be wanting to come back as soon as i leave. but that will never work because can never have things just as they are now. i hate time. a nice frozen reality would be beautiful right about now. oh god, i don't know if any of this will make sense but it wants out. I know i'm going to cry like a baby thats being torn in half very very slowly when i have to leave, but i can't think about that because the tears think they're needed now and come to the surface... I don't know. I've tried to numb- if that is the right word- some of those emotions that are just so troublesome and just so strong. I think it helps that he has a girlfriend (switiching topics here again), but it doesn't help that he is so sweet and funny and just awesome. But i know i'm going to leave so i'll just get used to the idea cos i can't stop time..argh how i wish i could. i know i'm going to see him again, thank god, it just might be a while. I'm not going to concentrate on the past, but memories are useful of course, i'm just going to look forward to some hazy time in the future.
bah...how i like to write.
i'm so depressing. i'm going to go watch my new movie and have some pizza and be happy cos i'm coming home soon and i'm going to see all of you beautiful fools!
counting the days, Jenny..
Your history teacher hates you?? no...no...okay i can't lie to you. yeah, yeah its very likely actually. but i'll ask you this- do you deserve it? have you been working at all like you were supposed to?
I hate to hear that you're feeling bad. tell suz to save me some of that chocolate too, i need it right now. I've gone all pathetic and teary. Its very very wet here today, lots of horizontal rain which is fun (sarcasam and a little...not) because i had to walk to and back from drama in it. along the foreshore, where the rain was coming from. needless to say i was very very wet by the time i'd walked the seven or so minutes (it is a great number) there.
Raining though it is, i went to the bus stop as per usual to meet up with that damn dear irishman. we went phone shopping and i bought donny darco under his reccomendation and he bought baseketball under mine (can you believe hes never seen it? bah!). good fun. then i had to walk home in the rain in the opposite direction to him. it was very movie-ish cos i was crying and tears were mixing with rain. i didn't get a photo (still. why do i forget..) but hopefully i'll see him tomorrow. i'd better- i leave 9:20am saturday, which is the day after tomorrow. i hate it how time goes so fast sometimes...i really do. i wish i could just stop it flowing and just stop for a bit. i want to see you guys all so much but i don't want to come back homw right now. i honestly don't think i can handle it. i can't handle going back to school and back to routine and back to people who know my past and everything about me. its great to just be anonymous for a while, as weird as that sounds. it was so great to just come somewhere completley far away from home, where no-one knew me at all. i learned so much about myself, cliched as it is, i figured alot out. i think more than anything Jamie is going to end up as a symbol of all of this and i'll just be wanting to come back as soon as i leave. but that will never work because can never have things just as they are now. i hate time. a nice frozen reality would be beautiful right about now. oh god, i don't know if any of this will make sense but it wants out. I know i'm going to cry like a baby thats being torn in half very very slowly when i have to leave, but i can't think about that because the tears think they're needed now and come to the surface... I don't know. I've tried to numb- if that is the right word- some of those emotions that are just so troublesome and just so strong. I think it helps that he has a girlfriend (switiching topics here again), but it doesn't help that he is so sweet and funny and just awesome. But i know i'm going to leave so i'll just get used to the idea cos i can't stop time..argh how i wish i could. i know i'm going to see him again, thank god, it just might be a while. I'm not going to concentrate on the past, but memories are useful of course, i'm just going to look forward to some hazy time in the future.
bah...how i like to write.
i'm so depressing. i'm going to go watch my new movie and have some pizza and be happy cos i'm coming home soon and i'm going to see all of you beautiful fools!
counting the days, Jenny..