I miss the chip trucks in Canada, I miss the coffee in Italy, I miss the little thai place that made the best thai coffee I've ever had, in D.C. I miss the baguettes and pastries in Paris
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awe babe, i had no idea this was going on inside of you! i don't think you're being self centred -- you don't stop being a human being with wishes and needs and preferences just because you add people to your life. what makes the difference is how you act about it, and it sounds like you've been selfless and made sacrifices and compromises. there's gotta be some middle ground. you can't empty yourself out just to keep everyone else full, it doesn't work that way and will make you crazy. what if you asked your husband for one night a week to do things that have nothing to do with him or your household, and are all about what you want? or you got him to pick you up a baguette and a pastry on his way home from work? i bet he'd be open to incorporating more old-jenn into your lives.
as for standards, i wonder if there's a way to un-train yourself.... like, do a little bit less than what you think would be perfect, see if the world collapses. if it doesn't, make that the new standard. and so on.
and don't forget, you always have the option. the fact that you can't even dream of taking it means that there are far more things worth sticking around for than not.
You are so right, I can't empty myself to keep everyone full, I need to make major changes in that department. It has been making me totally crazy. I guess I just need to be more vocal when I need some space. As far as creating some time for myself, I put an add on craigslist for an impromtu choir. I guess not even a choir. I want to get some people together to sing or something of that nature. I NEED music. Laurie Berkner doesn't count. I will try the "un-train" thing, but I don't know how well that will work. I feel like we live in such a small space and everything needs a home or else we are full of clutter. But, I have to come to accept that the clutter won't make my world collapses. I love that you remind me of my options, no one ever does. The people I live with don't even call me by my first name anymore. I'm Mommy.
as for standards, i wonder if there's a way to un-train yourself.... like, do a little bit less than what you think would be perfect, see if the world collapses. if it doesn't, make that the new standard. and so on.
and don't forget, you always have the option. the fact that you can't even dream of taking it means that there are far more things worth sticking around for than not.
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I will try the "un-train" thing, but I don't know how well that will work. I feel like we live in such a small space and everything needs a home or else we are full of clutter. But, I have to come to accept that the clutter won't make my world collapses.
I love that you remind me of my options, no one ever does. The people I live with don't even call me by my first name anymore. I'm Mommy.
Reply
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