What I learned on my summer vacation
Hey! Well, I just got back to work today and the last two weeks have been interesting to say the least. Granted, I didn't do much on account that I'm sorta lacking in funds as of late, but this has more to do with a lot of stuff I learned about myself. For one, I had some time to reflect on a lot of things without work distracting me. Basically I want to do some more web designing, but I'm trying to find some inspiration of what I want to do with it. I want to do my own web page, for starters, but I already got a Livejournal, a Facebook, and a Twitter account and it would be silly to have an actual web site documenting a lot of my stupidity. Although I was thinking of having a small site and doing one of those affiliate programs where I make money by putting up ads. That's another thing. This time away made me think of where I am at work. Part of me thinks I should be happy that I have a job that has a lot of good benefits, but another part wants to do more since lately it hasn't been paying that well. I do get paid OK, I'm able to pay the rent and bills, but it gets kinda hard to save up, especially if I want to get a car and all the wondeful stuff that comes from owning a car.
Also, as some of you already know, I'm seeing a shrink and lately it's been interesting to say the least. I'm realizing the more I open up about my past, the more I'm realizing that it's starting to scare me. I mean, a lot of what I'm going through now has a lot to do with my childhood and I'm afraid that I'm starting to get worse before I get better. I'm really starting to face a lot about my past and I'm scared that it's gonna affect my relationship with Mike. I'm starting to feel like it already has. I won't go into too many specifics, but the past few weeks has gotten me to open up about a lot of stuff that I never really got a chance to get it out in the open, especially stuff that happened when I was in junior high. That was when a lot of crap actually started. The more I actually get out of me, the more I have time to think about it and basically face a lot and that scares me, especially when I had a lot of time to think and reflect on a lot of things on my 2 week vaycay. Now that I'm back at work, it's gonna be interesting what happens. Sorry if I come across a bit angsty, but I'm just getting a lot of stuff off my chest and to let you know what I've been up to lately and where I am in my life right now. I hope in time, I get better. I guess me facing a lot about my past is definitely a bit scary, but I feel that the more I face a lot of my past, the better I can fix myself in the present. That's about it. I do think in time, I'll get a lot better. I guess I just need to be patient. I hope some people would be just as patient, if not more!! Late!!
Also, as some of you already know, I'm seeing a shrink and lately it's been interesting to say the least. I'm realizing the more I open up about my past, the more I'm realizing that it's starting to scare me. I mean, a lot of what I'm going through now has a lot to do with my childhood and I'm afraid that I'm starting to get worse before I get better. I'm really starting to face a lot about my past and I'm scared that it's gonna affect my relationship with Mike. I'm starting to feel like it already has. I won't go into too many specifics, but the past few weeks has gotten me to open up about a lot of stuff that I never really got a chance to get it out in the open, especially stuff that happened when I was in junior high. That was when a lot of crap actually started. The more I actually get out of me, the more I have time to think about it and basically face a lot and that scares me, especially when I had a lot of time to think and reflect on a lot of things on my 2 week vaycay. Now that I'm back at work, it's gonna be interesting what happens. Sorry if I come across a bit angsty, but I'm just getting a lot of stuff off my chest and to let you know what I've been up to lately and where I am in my life right now. I hope in time, I get better. I guess me facing a lot about my past is definitely a bit scary, but I feel that the more I face a lot of my past, the better I can fix myself in the present. That's about it. I do think in time, I'll get a lot better. I guess I just need to be patient. I hope some people would be just as patient, if not more!! Late!!