Life Sux!
Hi. I've been feeling pretty crappy lately so I have to get some things off my chest. I went with Mike last week for an RPG session which, all in all, was pretty fun. However, there was something that brought a lot of bad memories back to the surface. It involved a discussion about Prop 8. I won't go into too much specifics, but a lot had to do with me and it brought back a lot of bad stuff from my childhood. After a while, everything was fine, but I went to luch with my dad on Friday and we talked about stuff. I won't go into specifics, but a lot of the stuff came up again and I ended up pretty bummed. I ended up staying home all weekend. Also to add to my already F'ed up head, my internet's on the fritz again. This time, it turns out that it's the wiring of my cable's to blame. At first, I thought it could work itself out on its own, like it has before, but it's been going on for about a week so I ended up making an appointment to Comcast. Comcast came over before work yesterday and said that it was the cable wiring that's causing all the trouble so I have to talk to my landlord about it which is gonna be a joy. :( So for right now, the only internet access I have is at work or Kinkos. It's like with that, I can't do anything right. Another is that my birthday's coming up in about 2 weeks and with the election the day before, I have no idea what the mood's gonna be like. Although I'm not exactly in the red moneywise, I really need to save because 1. Mike's 30th birthday, my sister's birthday and Christmas is just around the corner and I really need to save up, 2. there's rent and bills, and 3. I want to do something cool for my b-day, but with my money situation, I don't know if I could. Right now, it feels like nothing's going right with me and I'm a bit depressed. It's like I got so many things going on in my head at once. Also with the whole financial situation in this country, that only adds to it. I do want to do something great with Mike because lately I've been feeling crappy and I feel like I'm taking it out on him. I don't mean to. I just don't want him to see me like this. I really want to make it up to him. He's one of the few constants in my life. I'm so happy when I'm with him, it's just that I get so worried wanting to make him happy and when I'm like this, it gets really difficult thinking straight. I do want to do another weekend vaycay with him, but I don't know if I can afford it at the present time. Hopefully I'll be able to get out of my funk pretty soon. Anyhoo, that's about it. I feel a little better now. I guess it's my birthday coming up that's making me like this. I usually get pretty depressed around this time. Late!!