The Pain
I guess I should be posting here more than on Facebook when it comes to this, but I'm so used to posting everything I do right now on there. It's bad, I know. When I start posting about my period, I know it's gone too far.
Basically what happened was this. I was going out to take my dogs for a walk. They are uncontrollably insane when I take them together - hopping, growling, and barking at each other. By the time I had them out the door, I was so distracted, I closed the door LEAVING MY HOUSE KEYS INSIDE BY THE DOOR.
I knew I was up shit creek without a paddle. I no longer had a big man friend to hop the wall and break into my place. Also, I had upped the security since having a stalker. The patio door lock also needs a key to be opened. I was the only one who could get in and I knew it. I had my cell in my back pocket so of course I posted all the happenings to facebook.
I borrowed a step stool from a neighbor. I hooked the dog leashes up the the door handle so they couldn't run off. With the stool, getting up the wall was easy. I sat on it looking down. It looked much farther from this perspective than I thought. I was directly above the trash can, but luckily it has wheels so I toed it out of the way. After I did that I looked down and thought that maybe I should have just kicked off the lid and tried to land in it. Haha that would have been a disaster too. Scared, but knowing this was my only option, I said "fuck it" took a breath in and launched myself forward. I think I must have been on too much of an angle or something, because instead of landing on my feet, my left foot actually turned inside by 90 degrees and I hit the ground on my ankle. I actually saw this and it was pretty gross looking... unnatural. I hit the ground on my left side, but it didn't really seem hard. I think the hardest part of the fall was on my ankle.
I was a bit stunned. I knew that this was going to be worse than a sprain. Sure enough when I tried to move it, it kinda sloshed around in its joint. The dogs were having a fit. I posted on facebook again what had just happened in case I couldn't get back into the house and was stuck out there on the cement. I knew I HAD to get in though. I'm a determined spirit. I looked at the doggy door and tried to reach myself in to see if I could fit. No way no fit. AHA! The keys to the patio door I leave by the sewing machine on the table. I reached my arm into the doggy door and grabbed the swifter broom behind the fridge (the fridge is just to the right of the doggy door). It was tangled in the water hose and the plug, but I got it free. I reached it over, broom part, to the table and flattened it out. I scooted the keys to the floor and then shuffled them within reach. It was kind of like a curling match. :P
I was just barely able to reach the floor lock through the doggy door. I got the key in and unlocked it, flipped the switch and threw that patio door open. The next step, however, was to figure out how I was going to stand and get in. I think I must have been on some kind of endorphin rush or something because nothing hurt unless I tried to move the foot. I don't even really remember how I did it. I think I slid onto my knees and held onto the door as I lifting myself up on my one good foot. The next problem is that it is a foot high step up into the door. I couldn't contemplate that one too much, I just had to hop it and hope I didn't fall again. I held onto the door again and hopped. I just barely made it. I hopped over to the front door, opened it, and let the dogs in. I sat down at the kitchen table and my phone started to ring. I left it outside on the patio. I hopped back over and just reeeeaaaached to grab it. It was my brother and he saw my facebook post. I called him back. Told him how hurt I was and he told me that if I called an ambulance I'd have to pay for it because they aren't covered by insurance. Plus I was embarrassed as hell! I didn't want my neighbors to see me get picked up by an ambulance. Pete, however, wasn't offering a ride. He told me good luck and that he had to go fix his air conditioner.
I bawled like a baby. I called the 24 hour nurse help line with my insurance to see if maybe it was just a sprain and I could just elevate it and be ok. The nurse advised me to take my shoe off. I had to undo all the laces to get it off without moving my foot. Once it was off I saw the softball sized lump on the side of my ankle. She said I definitely needed to go to the emergency room whether I got a ride from somebody or I called an ambulance. I called my brother again, sobbing. He finally agreed to come get me. I thought that when I closed the front door I made sure it was unlocked so he could come right in. I then made my way into the living room to ice and elevate my foot. I'm really surprised I got all this done with only a swifter broom as a crutch.
Unfortunately when my brother showed up, the door was locked. Fucking great. I stood up and got the swifter again to try and hop it to the door. My right foot was hurting from all the hopping and I kept wanting to step my left foot down. I got close to the piano and I reached for the piano chair for something else to hold me up. The swifter somehow gave out. I landed on my bad foot. Saw it bend and pop again and I just collapsed. This time, the pain was excruciating. I started screaming. I got extremely nauseated and I thought I was going to puke. Pete heard me screaming and started to freak out. He apparently got a chair from the pool area that was now open cause people were in there. He hopped the wall, knocking over my pants and garbage. He said he landed on his feet but slipped in dog poop and landed on his butt.
He came rushing in and all I could say was that I fell again trying to get to the door. I had him readjust my legs so I could lay flat for a second while the nausea passed. He lifted me up off the ground and told me to wrap my arm around his neck. He held my hand with his left hand and then put his arm around my waist and balanced me. I held his right hand with my right and he said to use him as his left foot. He would step with his left foot and then lift me and move me with his right as I hopped on my right foot. It took a very long time, but we made it all the way to the back of the complex where they had my car ready. Sandy drove her car to follow.
We got to the ER and they put me in a wheel chair and signed me in. I had stuffed everything I might possibly need in my pockets. I had a list of my medications and the time the fall happened. I had my wallet and my cell phone jammed into my back pockets. Luckily the er wasn't busy. They got me back quickly and got my xrays done. The doc came in and told me I was broken. They gave me pain pills and a orthopaedist's number to follow up with the following day. Unfortunately they only offered me crutches and the stress from the whole ordeal had been far too much. The walk back to the house felt like an eternity.
This whole thing has been absolute hell. Just trying to go to the bathroom is painful on all of my muscles. You try sitting yourself down and lifting yourself off the toilet with only one leg. The doctor appointments are worse because I have to hop down that long sidewalk to get picked up again. I ended up pulling a muscle in my abs from working them more than they're used to. Now I've mastered the crutches for walking, but I can't because of this damn pain. I still can't get up the small step to my front door either.
Oh ya and there is that fun thing of actually trying to bathe. What a joke. I managed to pull a patio chair into the shower, but it's really ridiculous trying to wash your private parts while sitting down. Got to shave and shampoo my hair though. I got water everywhere, but luckily the plastic bag tied around my leg didn't leak and the splint stayed dry.
I contacted my Buddhist leader even though I'd been M.I.A. for a couple months. I just didn't have anyone else to reach out to. My mom basically wants me to beg for her help and I won't do that. She keeps throwing insults at me cause she thinks she can cause I "need her." I don't need her at all, but it would surly be a million fucking times easier if I had someone here 24/7 to take care of me and my house. Anyway, the Buddhists have been bringing me food and encouraging me. They take out my garbage and walk Sparkle. This weekend Danielle said she'd come by and bring me food. Oh ya and the Buddhists have been taking me to my doctor appointments too. My first appointment the day after Melisa dropped me off and my friend Jeff picked me up. That was truly a miracle as he's hard to get a hold of. I might have to hire someone to pick up the dog poop and clean the patio. The house itself is not very neat cause I can't do much. Right now I'm on leave of absence for three weeks, but possibly more. They have to get me a handicap spot at work. I have to see if I can get a visitor spot in the back until I can do stairs again, but I have a feeling it will be a long time.
Here is my mom's concern. I am so overweight that my ankle couldn't handle the stress and broke. I am now going to get fatter because I am immobile - even though I told her it takes a lot of strength to use crutches. I get quite the workout. GLORIA, GLORIA, of all people is taking me to my doctor appointment tomorrow. My dad's ex wife. C'mon mom... Fuck. I love her and I hate her at the same time. Why is she so mean to me? She always tries to turn it on me that I'm the mean one, that it's all my fault. I know it's not.
I am having surgery in a week. Wish me luck. Now it's time for another pain pill and some sleep cause tomorrow I might try to shower again before going to the doctor.
Basically what happened was this. I was going out to take my dogs for a walk. They are uncontrollably insane when I take them together - hopping, growling, and barking at each other. By the time I had them out the door, I was so distracted, I closed the door LEAVING MY HOUSE KEYS INSIDE BY THE DOOR.
I knew I was up shit creek without a paddle. I no longer had a big man friend to hop the wall and break into my place. Also, I had upped the security since having a stalker. The patio door lock also needs a key to be opened. I was the only one who could get in and I knew it. I had my cell in my back pocket so of course I posted all the happenings to facebook.
I borrowed a step stool from a neighbor. I hooked the dog leashes up the the door handle so they couldn't run off. With the stool, getting up the wall was easy. I sat on it looking down. It looked much farther from this perspective than I thought. I was directly above the trash can, but luckily it has wheels so I toed it out of the way. After I did that I looked down and thought that maybe I should have just kicked off the lid and tried to land in it. Haha that would have been a disaster too. Scared, but knowing this was my only option, I said "fuck it" took a breath in and launched myself forward. I think I must have been on too much of an angle or something, because instead of landing on my feet, my left foot actually turned inside by 90 degrees and I hit the ground on my ankle. I actually saw this and it was pretty gross looking... unnatural. I hit the ground on my left side, but it didn't really seem hard. I think the hardest part of the fall was on my ankle.
I was a bit stunned. I knew that this was going to be worse than a sprain. Sure enough when I tried to move it, it kinda sloshed around in its joint. The dogs were having a fit. I posted on facebook again what had just happened in case I couldn't get back into the house and was stuck out there on the cement. I knew I HAD to get in though. I'm a determined spirit. I looked at the doggy door and tried to reach myself in to see if I could fit. No way no fit. AHA! The keys to the patio door I leave by the sewing machine on the table. I reached my arm into the doggy door and grabbed the swifter broom behind the fridge (the fridge is just to the right of the doggy door). It was tangled in the water hose and the plug, but I got it free. I reached it over, broom part, to the table and flattened it out. I scooted the keys to the floor and then shuffled them within reach. It was kind of like a curling match. :P
I was just barely able to reach the floor lock through the doggy door. I got the key in and unlocked it, flipped the switch and threw that patio door open. The next step, however, was to figure out how I was going to stand and get in. I think I must have been on some kind of endorphin rush or something because nothing hurt unless I tried to move the foot. I don't even really remember how I did it. I think I slid onto my knees and held onto the door as I lifting myself up on my one good foot. The next problem is that it is a foot high step up into the door. I couldn't contemplate that one too much, I just had to hop it and hope I didn't fall again. I held onto the door again and hopped. I just barely made it. I hopped over to the front door, opened it, and let the dogs in. I sat down at the kitchen table and my phone started to ring. I left it outside on the patio. I hopped back over and just reeeeaaaached to grab it. It was my brother and he saw my facebook post. I called him back. Told him how hurt I was and he told me that if I called an ambulance I'd have to pay for it because they aren't covered by insurance. Plus I was embarrassed as hell! I didn't want my neighbors to see me get picked up by an ambulance. Pete, however, wasn't offering a ride. He told me good luck and that he had to go fix his air conditioner.
I bawled like a baby. I called the 24 hour nurse help line with my insurance to see if maybe it was just a sprain and I could just elevate it and be ok. The nurse advised me to take my shoe off. I had to undo all the laces to get it off without moving my foot. Once it was off I saw the softball sized lump on the side of my ankle. She said I definitely needed to go to the emergency room whether I got a ride from somebody or I called an ambulance. I called my brother again, sobbing. He finally agreed to come get me. I thought that when I closed the front door I made sure it was unlocked so he could come right in. I then made my way into the living room to ice and elevate my foot. I'm really surprised I got all this done with only a swifter broom as a crutch.
Unfortunately when my brother showed up, the door was locked. Fucking great. I stood up and got the swifter again to try and hop it to the door. My right foot was hurting from all the hopping and I kept wanting to step my left foot down. I got close to the piano and I reached for the piano chair for something else to hold me up. The swifter somehow gave out. I landed on my bad foot. Saw it bend and pop again and I just collapsed. This time, the pain was excruciating. I started screaming. I got extremely nauseated and I thought I was going to puke. Pete heard me screaming and started to freak out. He apparently got a chair from the pool area that was now open cause people were in there. He hopped the wall, knocking over my pants and garbage. He said he landed on his feet but slipped in dog poop and landed on his butt.
He came rushing in and all I could say was that I fell again trying to get to the door. I had him readjust my legs so I could lay flat for a second while the nausea passed. He lifted me up off the ground and told me to wrap my arm around his neck. He held my hand with his left hand and then put his arm around my waist and balanced me. I held his right hand with my right and he said to use him as his left foot. He would step with his left foot and then lift me and move me with his right as I hopped on my right foot. It took a very long time, but we made it all the way to the back of the complex where they had my car ready. Sandy drove her car to follow.
We got to the ER and they put me in a wheel chair and signed me in. I had stuffed everything I might possibly need in my pockets. I had a list of my medications and the time the fall happened. I had my wallet and my cell phone jammed into my back pockets. Luckily the er wasn't busy. They got me back quickly and got my xrays done. The doc came in and told me I was broken. They gave me pain pills and a orthopaedist's number to follow up with the following day. Unfortunately they only offered me crutches and the stress from the whole ordeal had been far too much. The walk back to the house felt like an eternity.
This whole thing has been absolute hell. Just trying to go to the bathroom is painful on all of my muscles. You try sitting yourself down and lifting yourself off the toilet with only one leg. The doctor appointments are worse because I have to hop down that long sidewalk to get picked up again. I ended up pulling a muscle in my abs from working them more than they're used to. Now I've mastered the crutches for walking, but I can't because of this damn pain. I still can't get up the small step to my front door either.
Oh ya and there is that fun thing of actually trying to bathe. What a joke. I managed to pull a patio chair into the shower, but it's really ridiculous trying to wash your private parts while sitting down. Got to shave and shampoo my hair though. I got water everywhere, but luckily the plastic bag tied around my leg didn't leak and the splint stayed dry.
I contacted my Buddhist leader even though I'd been M.I.A. for a couple months. I just didn't have anyone else to reach out to. My mom basically wants me to beg for her help and I won't do that. She keeps throwing insults at me cause she thinks she can cause I "need her." I don't need her at all, but it would surly be a million fucking times easier if I had someone here 24/7 to take care of me and my house. Anyway, the Buddhists have been bringing me food and encouraging me. They take out my garbage and walk Sparkle. This weekend Danielle said she'd come by and bring me food. Oh ya and the Buddhists have been taking me to my doctor appointments too. My first appointment the day after Melisa dropped me off and my friend Jeff picked me up. That was truly a miracle as he's hard to get a hold of. I might have to hire someone to pick up the dog poop and clean the patio. The house itself is not very neat cause I can't do much. Right now I'm on leave of absence for three weeks, but possibly more. They have to get me a handicap spot at work. I have to see if I can get a visitor spot in the back until I can do stairs again, but I have a feeling it will be a long time.
Here is my mom's concern. I am so overweight that my ankle couldn't handle the stress and broke. I am now going to get fatter because I am immobile - even though I told her it takes a lot of strength to use crutches. I get quite the workout. GLORIA, GLORIA, of all people is taking me to my doctor appointment tomorrow. My dad's ex wife. C'mon mom... Fuck. I love her and I hate her at the same time. Why is she so mean to me? She always tries to turn it on me that I'm the mean one, that it's all my fault. I know it's not.
I am having surgery in a week. Wish me luck. Now it's time for another pain pill and some sleep cause tomorrow I might try to shower again before going to the doctor.