(no subject)
I guess it's time for my monthly update. I think about updating more often, but it seems like I never have time to sit down and write a decent post.
I start back at work on Monday. I'm kind of excited, but I'm more nervous. And self-conscious. Mostly self-conscious.
I'm really not comfortable in my body anymore. Pregnancy and everything since has not been kind to my body. I'm misshapen and extra fluffy in places I didn't use to have fluff. I don't really care as a SAHM because there really is no one to impress if I look frumpy during the day. Don't get me wrong, I try to look nice for Shawn and presentable to the world, but if I have crusty yogurt on my pant leg, none of my mommy friends are going to judge me.
But all that is different in the wide corporate world. Your image is your first impression. My new co-workers are going to take one look at me and label me. I want those key, critical first moments to count. I want to show them that I belong there. I guess I'm just nervous that being a mom has gotten me out of practice of being in the professional world.
I'm nervous about how Sophia and I are going to adapt to our new routine. How the fuck am I realistically going to make it out of the house by 7am 5 days a week?? We're lucky if we can make it to a 9am sign class once a week.
And what about nursing? I'm ready to wean, but I know Sophia isn't. Is this going to completely disrupt our nights as she tries to drink as much from me instead of sleeping?
I don't know. I wish I felt more prepared and comfortable about this whole thing. I wish I had a plan and some way of knowing I'm doing the right thing and that it's all going to be alright. But there would be no fun in that.
*fingerscrossed*
I start back at work on Monday. I'm kind of excited, but I'm more nervous. And self-conscious. Mostly self-conscious.
I'm really not comfortable in my body anymore. Pregnancy and everything since has not been kind to my body. I'm misshapen and extra fluffy in places I didn't use to have fluff. I don't really care as a SAHM because there really is no one to impress if I look frumpy during the day. Don't get me wrong, I try to look nice for Shawn and presentable to the world, but if I have crusty yogurt on my pant leg, none of my mommy friends are going to judge me.
But all that is different in the wide corporate world. Your image is your first impression. My new co-workers are going to take one look at me and label me. I want those key, critical first moments to count. I want to show them that I belong there. I guess I'm just nervous that being a mom has gotten me out of practice of being in the professional world.
I'm nervous about how Sophia and I are going to adapt to our new routine. How the fuck am I realistically going to make it out of the house by 7am 5 days a week?? We're lucky if we can make it to a 9am sign class once a week.
And what about nursing? I'm ready to wean, but I know Sophia isn't. Is this going to completely disrupt our nights as she tries to drink as much from me instead of sleeping?
I don't know. I wish I felt more prepared and comfortable about this whole thing. I wish I had a plan and some way of knowing I'm doing the right thing and that it's all going to be alright. But there would be no fun in that.
*fingerscrossed*