(no subject)
hmmm no work today... there werent any patients booked in to see the doctors so they decided not to open today. not that i mind it means i got to stay in bed for another few hours. not sleeping just lying and dosing. damn what am i going to do with myself all day? everyone is working so i cant go and have 'coffee' with people. probably end up reading or doing something similar.
i have no idea what i wrong with me at the moment...i feel stifled, or constricted or hemmed in...i dont know i cant think how to describe it. its like wearing a scratchy jumper; the jumper looks fine but then the neck is just a tiny bit tight and the inside is a little scratchy...just uncomfortable. and i have no idea what is causing it!!!
coward coward coward coward coward coward coward coward coward coward coward coward coward coward coward
so lets take a look at how the resolutions are going shall we???
1. get through uni this year. well i cant really evaluate this one yet...just going to have to wait and see.
2. lose 5-10 kgs. hmmm yeh not going so well...or at all...
3. trust people more. actually, scratch that, trust people period. yeh this one is definitely failing...im still expecting people to fail me and/or break my heart. damn i hate issues!!!
4. stop poking at things and creating problems when everything is working fine. its all happy, so leave it alone!!! hmmm yeh i am definitely not one to leave things alone...damn i am really not doing very well at this whole ny reso thing....
5. start being honest with myself and others about my feelings. stop being an emotional coward... this would have to be the number one failing on this list. i am a wimp and a coward...urgh...
6. try to spend more time with my friends. wow!!! one that i have actually succeeded in accomplishing!!! yay!!! go me!!!
7. dont let work rule my life. (as much as i hope that this resolution lasts, i have a very strong feeling that it definitely WILL NOT). hmmm im semi-succeeding at this...im not at work today!
8. try to stop swearing, or at least limit their frequency. hmmm this one is about the same. i havent got any better...but then again unlike some of the above, i havent become worse
9. be a happier person. i am happy dammit.
10. go to the beach :) still havent made it the beach....grrr