G-G-Give, give it all ya got, g-g-give it all ya got
Today I lay in bed, all the recent bullshit swirling through my head.
My brother burst in with stories of his friend and my ex-boyfriend sean calling krista (one of our friends) and telling her he was gay.
Wow....what a revelation.
That kid was fruity from the minute i met him.
What is it with me and gay guys?
Maybe it's because they themselves feel like girls and i subconsciously know that, so i feel they can relate?
Pfft. I dunno.
So i hauled myself outta bed and taked to him for about twenty minutes in the front room, bullshittin. He saw my tattoo and asked all kinda questions, from "why the fuck did you get it?" to "did it hurt like a bitch?" (cuz i felt like it, and yes it did).
After that he had to get ready for work, and I went to lie back down in bed.
I lay there for hours, thinking about why I've been so lonely and depressed lately.
I mean I have good friends (for the most part) and a boyfriend who, lately, has been treating me like I'm a fuckin queen. He gets me stuff without me even asking and buys me flowers and lays in bed with me all day and just all kinds of fuckin shit. It's gettin good again like it was in the beginning. He's so passionate now, and I love that.
So why have I contemplated just fucking jumping off a bridge lately and falling to my lovely, problem-free death?
Sometimes I feel like everyone's just being nice to me, and they don't really wanna be around me. I know there's better people out there. I feel like a third wheel all the time, and it's not like I'm looking for a new boyfriend, but why the hell don't guys hit on me? Even when I'm happy and shit and am confident, I'm just kinda...ignored. Even when boys inhibitions are lowred and they're drunk, I'm still...non-existent. That feeling sucks.
Maybe I should lie to myself and tell myself it's because they're not good enough for me?
My brother burst in with stories of his friend and my ex-boyfriend sean calling krista (one of our friends) and telling her he was gay.
Wow....what a revelation.
That kid was fruity from the minute i met him.
What is it with me and gay guys?
Maybe it's because they themselves feel like girls and i subconsciously know that, so i feel they can relate?
Pfft. I dunno.
So i hauled myself outta bed and taked to him for about twenty minutes in the front room, bullshittin. He saw my tattoo and asked all kinda questions, from "why the fuck did you get it?" to "did it hurt like a bitch?" (cuz i felt like it, and yes it did).
After that he had to get ready for work, and I went to lie back down in bed.
I lay there for hours, thinking about why I've been so lonely and depressed lately.
I mean I have good friends (for the most part) and a boyfriend who, lately, has been treating me like I'm a fuckin queen. He gets me stuff without me even asking and buys me flowers and lays in bed with me all day and just all kinds of fuckin shit. It's gettin good again like it was in the beginning. He's so passionate now, and I love that.
So why have I contemplated just fucking jumping off a bridge lately and falling to my lovely, problem-free death?
Sometimes I feel like everyone's just being nice to me, and they don't really wanna be around me. I know there's better people out there. I feel like a third wheel all the time, and it's not like I'm looking for a new boyfriend, but why the hell don't guys hit on me? Even when I'm happy and shit and am confident, I'm just kinda...ignored. Even when boys inhibitions are lowred and they're drunk, I'm still...non-existent. That feeling sucks.
Maybe I should lie to myself and tell myself it's because they're not good enough for me?