And the plot thickens...

[jennalynn303]

Ok, so a lil more detail to add to a past entry. See, for two weeks my best guy friend was down here. The weird thing is that I realized that I was way closer to him than I had ever been to Chris. Kinda creepy, huh? Also, realized that I just might have some feelings for him. Well, after Chris and I broke up, we sorta ended up kissing. He is truly the nicest guy ever. Like, this rut I've been in, I call him anytime that I start to bawl...by the end of the conversation I am laughing, yes, LAUGHING! Tell me that's not awesome?! I've always loved him as a friend, but could it be more?! We've always hung out, and in a lot of ways I kinda feel like I was dating two guys by the end of this past summer. I dunno...I'm definately not ready for anything. The funny thing is, Chris actually had the nerve to ask me to promise that I would never date him!! Go figure?! Bottom line...I'm 24 years old and will date whoever I want whenever I want. The scary part is that I could have ended up married to him. Can you imagine that?! With all the crap that has happened, I guess everything works out in it's weird little ways for a reason, even if we don't see it at first! I guess my life plan is still being shaped...I just wish it was all a lil book that you read and it tells you everything you could ever want to know. Who will I marry? Chapter 31. Where will I be when I am 30? Chapter 35. Easy, right?! haha! Well, if anything develops, I'll keep you posted, a big part of me hopes it does. I've never met anyone who could make me smile, laugh, or feel so good about myself as he can. My self esteem was shit...and I'm slowly getting a good deal of it back. I smile a lot more, I cry a lot more *we're working on that!!*, and most importantly I laugh a lot more. I hadn't laughed soo much as when he was down here. It was a good feeling. One that I miss now that he is back home :-/ Oh well...such is life! Plus, even if nothing develops, at least I know that i have the bestest best friend anyone could ask for! Not to mention he cooked, (every meal) cleaned my apartment, even woke up at 5:30am every morning to make me breakfast and pack my lunch! Now there's a keeper! haha! Oh well...I'm still a lil emotional, but much better, so I thought it was safe to try to update. I try not to update when I'm too emotional because you end up writing something that you might regret! Well, I hope all is well in LJ land! Get in touch friends that I never hear from anymore!

Love you all!
Jennalynn