everything
Last night on my way back to school from cheerleading I checked my messages and my dad left me one. I almost didn't listen to it cuz it's always the same old bullshit excuses and what not but I don't know what made me. It was a message he returned cuz I left him one just saying I was thinking about him while I was watching this movie. It's called Fatso and we used to watch it together when I was litte, the guy always reminded me of him. so anyway I listened to his message and he was like "just returning your call, I miss you so much and you know I'm always thinking of you and matthew and gabrielle. I'll see you during the week, love you bye" I really wish he didn't live so far away but when I think about it, it wouldn't make a difference anyway. I miss him, or maybe I just miss the dad he should have been. I don't know.
anyway, there's so much other stuff on my mind. I'm talking to fele about it and I know she's right. I also know that I'm not going to end up making the right choice. I'm just retarded and I'll dig my own hole even deeper but whatever, the consequences are none but my own. I'm so damn confused. I hate this shit. One has been so good to me the past month while the other ones beeing making me feel like shit. he changes his mind just as often as she does and it's killing me in the process. I don't know. I need more thinking.
anyway, there's so much other stuff on my mind. I'm talking to fele about it and I know she's right. I also know that I'm not going to end up making the right choice. I'm just retarded and I'll dig my own hole even deeper but whatever, the consequences are none but my own. I'm so damn confused. I hate this shit. One has been so good to me the past month while the other ones beeing making me feel like shit. he changes his mind just as often as she does and it's killing me in the process. I don't know. I need more thinking.