halfway around world lies the one thing that you want...
So, this isn't a blog with icons or graphics or anything like that.
This is a blog of some of the thoughts racing through my head. I'm really struggling with some things in my life right now. I just sort of feel like I'm at an in-between stage with everything in my life. With some relationships, in-between school and a job...it's just frustrating and I'm just not sure that I can take anymore.
I know that times are hard--for everyone--but I'm just tired of feeling this way. I lay around my house on the couch looking at the same job postings that were there the day before, no changes and no new opportunities. Then I try to waste time by trying to teach myself how to cook by watching Paula Deen on Food Network. I'm traveling--going around to see my friends that live close and helping my sister out in her classroom to pass the time.
But it still doesn't change the fact that I am unemployed, unhappy, and unresponsive. I'm not my usual peppy self anymore. I find myself just lying around being pessimistic-- "There's no jobs out there; I'll never find a job; Well, I applied but I probably won't hear back from it." I also realize that I'm bitter towards those that have found jobs, even though they might be more qualified than I am but feel cheated.
One reason that I feel this way is that I'm a Believer and I'm trying to live for God and I feel that everyone that cares less about God are getting things just handed to them and I'm just being put through these storms. I know that God has a plan for my life and that He knows what's best for me but it's maddening to think that I'm trying to be faithful and I've had to wait forever for--well, everything.
Then again, I think I just hate February in general. Bad things happen in February. 2008 sealed the fate of my Februarys and solidified my hatred for them. I always hated February for Valentine's Day and the bitter cold. Then, last year Keith died in February and that was just such a blow to my life. And 2008 wasn't a great year anyway. It started well and ended well but the in-between sucked.
It started out with my trip to Duke for a basketball game which was wonderful and definitely a highlight of my life. Then Keith died in February. In May, I found out I had to have extensive back surgery which happened in July. In October, my car got stolen. But in December, I finally graduated which I felt would never happen.
I'm hoping and praying for a job and a turnaround. I know He has a plan.
This is a blog of some of the thoughts racing through my head. I'm really struggling with some things in my life right now. I just sort of feel like I'm at an in-between stage with everything in my life. With some relationships, in-between school and a job...it's just frustrating and I'm just not sure that I can take anymore.
I know that times are hard--for everyone--but I'm just tired of feeling this way. I lay around my house on the couch looking at the same job postings that were there the day before, no changes and no new opportunities. Then I try to waste time by trying to teach myself how to cook by watching Paula Deen on Food Network. I'm traveling--going around to see my friends that live close and helping my sister out in her classroom to pass the time.
But it still doesn't change the fact that I am unemployed, unhappy, and unresponsive. I'm not my usual peppy self anymore. I find myself just lying around being pessimistic-- "There's no jobs out there; I'll never find a job; Well, I applied but I probably won't hear back from it." I also realize that I'm bitter towards those that have found jobs, even though they might be more qualified than I am but feel cheated.
One reason that I feel this way is that I'm a Believer and I'm trying to live for God and I feel that everyone that cares less about God are getting things just handed to them and I'm just being put through these storms. I know that God has a plan for my life and that He knows what's best for me but it's maddening to think that I'm trying to be faithful and I've had to wait forever for--well, everything.
Then again, I think I just hate February in general. Bad things happen in February. 2008 sealed the fate of my Februarys and solidified my hatred for them. I always hated February for Valentine's Day and the bitter cold. Then, last year Keith died in February and that was just such a blow to my life. And 2008 wasn't a great year anyway. It started well and ended well but the in-between sucked.
It started out with my trip to Duke for a basketball game which was wonderful and definitely a highlight of my life. Then Keith died in February. In May, I found out I had to have extensive back surgery which happened in July. In October, my car got stolen. But in December, I finally graduated which I felt would never happen.
I'm hoping and praying for a job and a turnaround. I know He has a plan.