(no subject)
I. Am. So. Flippin. Bored.
I want to be back at school and I don't. I'm very conflicting on the topic. I'm ready to be doing stuff again. I'm ready to be busy and to have stuff I need to accomplish each day and I'm ready to test out my new plans for spring semester. I love being home and being with my family and I couldn't have asked for a better break with my friends but bottom line is I'm just not me when I'm not getting things accomplished. I don't know why but I've always needed to be doing things. I'm not even so sure getting back to school is going to be enough. The thing about high school was that I had a million things going on and a whole lot of responsibilities within different groups and that's the way I liked it. College was just overwhelming last semester as far as getting involved in stuff went and I didn't find anything to be a part of and I certainly didn't have any of the responsibility and leadership stuff that I'm so used to. I've thought it over a lot since break started and I'm not really me without the responsiblities and the leadership roles. It's a huge aspect of my personality. I need it. I've got to find it at UD or I'm going to lose my mind. And I'm already on the verge of mental breakdown in other areas of my life so I'm not looking for another one. Ha. Ha.
Anyway. I'm okay other than the boredom. I'm ready for spring. For multiple reasons. I've got a while to wait there though.
I want someone to fix my eye. For good. I don't care anymore, if surgery will fix it do it. I didn't want the surgery before but I don't care now. I don't even know if there's surgery they can do at this point but I've seen so many doctors and had so many pictures of my stupid skull taken and every doctor just sends me to a different one who supposedly can help but doesn't help. Yeah this is random but I don't remember what it was like to live without this anymore. I know most people don't believe me when I talk about the pain I still deal with from that accident but I could honestly care less who believes me. It hurts and SOMEbody, I don't care who but SOMEbody needs to make it stop. And that's all I have to say about that.
This entry is incoherent but who cares.
I think I'm going to end it.
But on a positive note. I'm so blessed. Don't know why but I just felt like saying that. I take too much for granted. I'm going to work on that.
Alright later.
I want to be back at school and I don't. I'm very conflicting on the topic. I'm ready to be doing stuff again. I'm ready to be busy and to have stuff I need to accomplish each day and I'm ready to test out my new plans for spring semester. I love being home and being with my family and I couldn't have asked for a better break with my friends but bottom line is I'm just not me when I'm not getting things accomplished. I don't know why but I've always needed to be doing things. I'm not even so sure getting back to school is going to be enough. The thing about high school was that I had a million things going on and a whole lot of responsibilities within different groups and that's the way I liked it. College was just overwhelming last semester as far as getting involved in stuff went and I didn't find anything to be a part of and I certainly didn't have any of the responsibility and leadership stuff that I'm so used to. I've thought it over a lot since break started and I'm not really me without the responsiblities and the leadership roles. It's a huge aspect of my personality. I need it. I've got to find it at UD or I'm going to lose my mind. And I'm already on the verge of mental breakdown in other areas of my life so I'm not looking for another one. Ha. Ha.
Anyway. I'm okay other than the boredom. I'm ready for spring. For multiple reasons. I've got a while to wait there though.
I want someone to fix my eye. For good. I don't care anymore, if surgery will fix it do it. I didn't want the surgery before but I don't care now. I don't even know if there's surgery they can do at this point but I've seen so many doctors and had so many pictures of my stupid skull taken and every doctor just sends me to a different one who supposedly can help but doesn't help. Yeah this is random but I don't remember what it was like to live without this anymore. I know most people don't believe me when I talk about the pain I still deal with from that accident but I could honestly care less who believes me. It hurts and SOMEbody, I don't care who but SOMEbody needs to make it stop. And that's all I have to say about that.
This entry is incoherent but who cares.
I think I'm going to end it.
But on a positive note. I'm so blessed. Don't know why but I just felt like saying that. I take too much for granted. I'm going to work on that.
Alright later.