We are both innocent...
Why does everyone leave you when you need a shoulder to cry on? Okay.. I've decided I'm stopping with the crying. It's not going to happen but I'd like to pretend. I thought I was mature for my age, but maybe I'm not. I don't know. I try not to let things get to me, I try to move on, I try to let go.. but I don't know.
I want a shoulder to cry on, I want him to wipe away my tears. Whenever I need someone the most, he's not there. I look at my phone and I just wanna call him but for some odd reason I don't let myself. Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. I am so in love and I haven't given up. It has been so worth it but lately I've felt like I'm giving more love than I'm receiving. Things aren't changing and I know that. I just keep putting these images in my head. I make assumptions, and I conclude to false things.
I've had so much time to myself. I don't want time to myself. I want time with my boyfriend, I want to look into his eyes and tell him that I love him. I've said it so many times, but what happens when you say I love you and there's no response? That hasn't happened, but what if it did? Anyways.. last night I went to Travis's and didn't get home till around 1:00.. I had a lot of fun though.
I've just had way too much on my mind lately.. he said he was going to call me on lunch break but he didn't, but he did pick me up after work. He usually calls me late at night to talk but he didn't. I haven't talked to him since I got out of the car last night. Im just hoping that I won't be at home all day sulking. That I won't be feeling sorry for myself. I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself because the truth being told is that I am in love and when I am with him I am truly happy. When I'm not with him I miss him and I just want him to hold me.
I think him leaving Spring Break and the marines coming soon is just really getting to me.. it's been on my mind constantly and sometimes I can't sleep.. and when I do sleep I toss and turn and I wake up in the middle of the night, if not several times...
I think I'm going to make a CD soon and wait for my mom to get back with Dairy Queen.. last night she bought me $130 of stuff at Bergner's last night. I got a jacket, a black guess tank top, another black top, a new bra, three thongs, and socks.. I think that's it.