(no subject)
Haven't been feeling my best. Been finding it difficult to stay up. It just doesn't stick. I'm exhausted; I think I've slept and then an alarm goes off and I feel as if I was already awake, always awake, restless. In bad dreams, people are angry at me and I can't shake it for hours. I go to sleep lonely and wake up momentarily better just to have it dissolve. And then I'm disappointed that I can't let a new day be a new day, like I usually do without trying. Haven't been eating well. Not the things I'm eating, but the compulsions.
I keep wanting to let it all envelop me, and then sweat until I can't think of anything but the pain in my legs as I push at the stationary for 60 more seconds.
Positives:
- World Market yesterday was so awesome
- Back at the gym, endorphins endorphins
- Sam is happy with music/band happenings, and is gigging
- We are going to Solid Sound. I'm thrilled.
13 months yesterday. Miss you.
I keep wanting to let it all envelop me, and then sweat until I can't think of anything but the pain in my legs as I push at the stationary for 60 more seconds.
Positives:
- World Market yesterday was so awesome
- Back at the gym, endorphins endorphins
- Sam is happy with music/band happenings, and is gigging
- We are going to Solid Sound. I'm thrilled.
13 months yesterday. Miss you.