(no subject)
Things feel GREAT right now. I'm in a good place. Everything fits. Except school. I'll probably fail all 3 of my classes (yeah, I'm only taking 3), and where am I going to go from that? My parents have expressed that the next screw-up is the last straw. Will they go back on it? A part of me kind of won't mind if I don't have to go back to school for awhile. It would be nice if the breaking of the news happened smoothly.. no fighting, no crying, no yelling. Just a nod of the head maybe. Will they still want me going to Valencia? My dad is saving up money for it. I feel like such a failure, but maybe I just can't do school right now. Maybe it's just not where I should be. I don't feel motivated at all. I don't care about it. I want to experience things. I've been sitting in a classroom for the majority of my life (like everyone else). I want to live somewhere else. But I really just want to move away. Spanish-style. Valencia would be great. How am I going to tell them that I've fucked up again? How am I going to tell them that I just can't bring myself to care that they've spent thousands and thousands of dollars on tuition and my living expenses the past 3 years? I just can't get myself to be a good student. There's no real challenge in anything for me. Do homework. Study for a test. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just want to go away.
The rest of my life is excellent, though.
I just want to go away.
The rest of my life is excellent, though.