fic post: Whiter Shade of Pale

[jenna_thorn]

Title: Whiter Shade of Pale
Universe: Supernatural
Pairing: None
Warning: It's a ghost story.
Rating: harsh language

With thanks to koyote19 for both beta and the title, to beadslut for beta and kick in the pants (and, I notice, the icon), and to S., V., and D., who told me it wasn't finished yet but they wanted to read it when it was.

Comments

[koyote19]

You know I really liked the first version. But this one is definitely more complete and just... yeah. The small changes you made work very well, and the mood is creepier than the first time around. Awesome.

subtle changes

[jenna_thorn]

Cool. I'm glad that the original stood, but yeah, I shifted some stuff around and added some business and tweaked a few lines and a paragraph there and I'm hooping that the end is clearer and the point is a little more open now. Isn't the chime of the email creepifying? I got myself with that one. Yeeeesh.

A buddy, who doesn't watch the show, wanted even more exposition, an explanation of what the rock salt and gasoline referred to, but as much as I love him and value his opinion, and I do, I'm not going to do that, since this is fanfiction and my dominant, call it my preferred, audience knows the mythos and so I'm not so much short-cutting for laziness as not over-explaining a shared assumption. When I'm writing in my original 'verse, I'll be careful to set up the world-building, but here and now, no, I'm going to just say "Sam and Dean" and not explain that they are brothers and ghosthunters and so on and so forth.

Thanks for re-reading and affirming that the changes helped.

[beadslut]

the flicker of the match making Dean look hard, supernatural himself

I love this line, this image, the most of all of them, even the creepifying one.

[jenna_thorn]

Hee, every kid ona camping trip knows that underlighting makes you look scary, whether that's with a flashlight under the chin or a match at chest level. And they doit so often, you just know that someone on crew thinks it's just as cool and creepifying as we do.

[jenna_thorn]

Thank you. I was rather hoping someone would get a chance to read it who hadn't been in on the early drafts and could let me know if the final result was clear or if I'd left too much of the backstory off the page.

So I'm glad to hear it works. 8-)