its so stormy out, but so pretty
*let it rain, let it rain, open the floodgates of heaven.
daddy,
though we are broken, i hope everyday to be mended back together. i know that i can no longer fix what has happened. i no longer know what to do. i can cry and cry and cry, which i do, but that will never bring her back to me, my tears will never make him happy again, a tear will never make my house a home. i cry, i cry a tear for you. i cry one for you as well. one for her, and one for him. i stand and just look into her. what do i see? a woman so lost, so confused and in desperate need of you. god i scream for you to help her. god i scream for your hand to be upon her. even now, tears upon my face. i need her, a love and comfort that i long for. images of that night still weigh on my heart. i look at her, and i just remember. and dad it scares me. did i ever tell you that i saw that police officer in the mall one day? daddy its like a nightmare that never ends. im sorry for blaming you, i know you did not intend for this to happen. but daddy, where did my mommy go?? the horror, the pain that lies there, i pray will be broken. set us free. in your name i pray. god break it. god please. the devil is at work in her, its a scary thought, but its true. a hole dug oh so deep. and ditch that doesnt seem to show any light, or none that is promising. god i feel so alone. little pieces of her, and god i see her fall more and more apart everyday. and my dad, i pray you would hold him in your arms, and promise me you will never let him go.
daddy im sorry.
im crying out to you.
i surrender it all, at your feet.
bring me back to you.
where i need to be.
pick me up, place me on solid ground.
i want to be nowhere but in your presence, in your arms.
dont leave me tonight....
walk with me, side by side. my head on your side, your arm around me.
your calm voice, your everlasting love & comfort.
i love you.
florida is amazing. so pretty here. not a worry in my head, except one, which is hard to get away from. i worry constantly about her, but she seems to be doing alright on some days. some are good, and others not so much. the beach and waves are so peaceful here. everything, and life all seem so far away, its really nice to get your head out of "life" for a bit.
im looking out the window of this lobby, and its storming outside. and there is a frog on the floor looking at me. its sooo cute. my face is sticky from my tears, ew. i just kicked the glass, and the frog is hopping away. ouch my foot. outside the floor is so glossy and wet. the palm trees are blowing. the the lightning is crashing in the distance.
a storm, yet so beautiful.
im learning that i DO need you.
me & you forever =)
you are ever so comforting.
i wanna go watch the storm!!!