"and if I always seem distracted like my mind's somewhere else that's because it's true"
Shane is such a good person and a good boyfriend. He's so loyal, he does so much for me and he loves me...
I should just be happy...
I'm such a horrible person.
A big part of the reason why we broke up is cause I used to feel so trapped sometimes. I don't feel that trapped now but sometimes I think oh my god is this the last man I'm going to sleep with? I'm a horrible person for thinking that. He told me I'm the only one he thinks about? How is that even possible? I don't believe it.
I am happy in a lot of ways. But sometimes I want passion again. But it's not worth sacrificing love for lust. But I can't imagine going through the rest of my life and never feeling passion again. But it always fades anyway or at least that's what they say. I need to just be happy, I need to stop spending all my time thinking about someone else. I'm still waiting for it to fade, I hope it happens soon.
In other news, Jeff is still driving me crazy. In fact, he's starting to scare me a little. I mean I didn't return some of his phone calls and he got really pissed off. Now he calls my voicemail and leaves these angry messages. I don't want to talk to him at all now even as a friend. He's gotten kinda weird and he annoys me sometimes anyway. He's one of those people who is always complaining about everything.
Anyway, I don't think I did anything to give him to impression there was anything between us other then that one kiss. But I stopped and it's not like I kept kissing him. But a couple of times he tricked me into going on dates with him. Like the time we went to the comedy club. He basically told me it was going to be a group of people then when I got there it was just me and him and his two friends who are a couple which made these events awkward for me.
I don't know what I'm going to do about him. I wish he would just take a hint and leave me alone. That's what I get for trying to be nice to a guy that I didn't want to sleep with.
I should just be happy...
I'm such a horrible person.
A big part of the reason why we broke up is cause I used to feel so trapped sometimes. I don't feel that trapped now but sometimes I think oh my god is this the last man I'm going to sleep with? I'm a horrible person for thinking that. He told me I'm the only one he thinks about? How is that even possible? I don't believe it.
I am happy in a lot of ways. But sometimes I want passion again. But it's not worth sacrificing love for lust. But I can't imagine going through the rest of my life and never feeling passion again. But it always fades anyway or at least that's what they say. I need to just be happy, I need to stop spending all my time thinking about someone else. I'm still waiting for it to fade, I hope it happens soon.
In other news, Jeff is still driving me crazy. In fact, he's starting to scare me a little. I mean I didn't return some of his phone calls and he got really pissed off. Now he calls my voicemail and leaves these angry messages. I don't want to talk to him at all now even as a friend. He's gotten kinda weird and he annoys me sometimes anyway. He's one of those people who is always complaining about everything.
Anyway, I don't think I did anything to give him to impression there was anything between us other then that one kiss. But I stopped and it's not like I kept kissing him. But a couple of times he tricked me into going on dates with him. Like the time we went to the comedy club. He basically told me it was going to be a group of people then when I got there it was just me and him and his two friends who are a couple which made these events awkward for me.
I don't know what I'm going to do about him. I wish he would just take a hint and leave me alone. That's what I get for trying to be nice to a guy that I didn't want to sleep with.