Constant Contact
I've changed a lot over the past year. Yeah, you already knew that. But, one of the many ways has to do with my need to be in constant contact with at least one person. Even while trying to get away from everyone and everything on the MAX, the beach, wherever, I was texting Cliff, Jeff, or Wes - giving them a play by play of my "alone" time - venting about whatever it was that I working to "escape" from.
I'm still co-dependent. Even now, I reach out to you - my hands of thought grasping your mind for understanding and empathy. But, I haven't felt the "need" as strong. In fact, as I get in contact with someone, I sometimes find that i want to repel. That's new. And exciting.
I've always felt that it's important to feel comfortable being alone. I didn't know why and how that felt until now. I wasn't sure that I would like it. I can't say safely that I do (I also go through fads where I think that I like things - I think that it's a coping mechanism to get through things that I have to do). In about 3 more months, I can if I continue to. I hope that I do - feel like that's a step in a healthier direction.
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