Keep Coming Back For More (Chapter 10)
Blur
Edward
There were painkillers on my bedside table when I woke up, though once again, I had no idea how they got there. I wondered if Rose and Bella had to bring me home like the last time, but everything in my head was clouded by pain. The taste of tequila lingered in my mouth and I quickly reached for the glass of water to wash at least a little bit away. That was when I noticed the drawer being slightly open and reached to check if everything was still in place. My eyes fell on the little box inside, the lid open and the plastic wrapping missing.
I heard myself gasp quietly and took the box out to check the contents. My breathing quickened as my check confirmed what I thought, there was a condom missing. Yet I was alone in my bed and besides the creased covers, there was no other sign of anyone else being in the apartment. I racked my brain for more information about the previous night, but it only made the pain worse, so I gulped down the painkiller and dragged myself out of bed. My clothes were scattered over the floor and still smelt of cigarettes and alcohol, so I grabbed some clean ones from the wardrobe and headed for the shower.
The hot water seemed to make the headache fade a little and I definitely felt more human when I was sitting in my kitchen, sipping on coffee. There were still no memories from the night in my head, though, no matter how hard I tried to remember anything at all. At that point, I was sure that someone had been in the apartment with me and obviously something had happened, but I didn’t know who that person was. I finished my coffee and went to get dressed, so that I could run over to Jasper’s house and question him on the night’s events. The only thing I hoped for was that I could avoid the pixie. Alice would most likely be way too chipper for my hangover and I didn’t really want to share with her that I didn’t remember sleeping with someone. Girls don’t understand those things.
I grabbed a hoodie off my chair and stopped short of putting it on, noticing that it was definitely not mine. It was a few sizes too small and a girls’ style on top. So whoever was here had left it behind. It smelt of a perfume that I seemed to recognize from somewhere, though I wasn’t sure from where and I was sure I’d seen it before. I groaned in frustration and went to grab my hoodie. A while later, I gave up the search, wondering briefly if I’d thrown it into the laundry bag, but I was too tired to search more thoroughly, so I grabbed a different jumper and headed off.
“Edward,” Emmett grumbled as he opened the front door.
“Hey,” I nodded in response.
“Had a good night?” he smirked, pointing to my hair which I forgot to wash.
“Don’t know,” I sighed, “I can’t remember a thing.”
Emmett gave me a short version of the night up until the moment when his own memory failed him, which didn’t help me much. It explained the tequila taste in my mouth when I woke up, because Emmett said he’d been getting shots for all of us. And knowing myself, even when he’d stopped I continued with the same drink.
“Hey Masen,” Rosalie shot me a strangely angry look, “you’re alive then.”
“Whatever I did, Rose,” I sighed, “I’m sorry.”
“Whatever you did? You don’t remember anything?” she frowned.
“Nothing, it’s all just a blur,” my eyes turned to the floor.
“Ah,” I heard her sigh and then walk away.
Alice came bounding down the stairs before I could dwell on Rosalie’s words and tone any further. She took one look at me and obviously decided that I didn’t need noise in my ears at the moment. The next moment I was out in the garden, sitting on a bench next to Alice and being pierced by her gaze. She talked quietly, aware of my hurting head, but she stopped questioning after I explained my hopefully only temporary amnesia. That was when she filled me in on some parts of the night, but she still didn’t shed any light on who I left with or who I was talking to that might have been the person who had been in my bed.
After that mildly useless but strangely not unpleasant conversation, we headed back into the house and found Emmett sitting at the games console in the sitting room. He invited me to join in and I didn’t hesitate, feeling so frustrated that I wanted to hit something and the game would help me do that without getting me into trouble. We sat there, bashing the daylights out of whichever monsters on the screen as a familiar scent hit my nose. I turned to find Bella standing in the door, her cheeks a warm red, her eyes turning to the floor the moment I looked at her.
Then it dawned on me. The reason I remembered the hoodie so well, why the scent off it was so familiar and why the painkillers were on my table when I woke up. But I couldn’t just ask her when Em was in the room, so I let my eyes drift back to the screen and tried to finish the level quickly so I could talk to her.
“Edward?” Alice came over and whispered over my shoulder, “Can you help me with something?”
“Not right now, I need to…”
“Please?” she shot me her best pleading look.
I figured I’d quickly help her with whatever it was and then I’d find a way to talk to Bella to put the puzzle of the previous night together. My mind kept drifting back to the opened condom box in the drawer and I felt the blood in my cheeks as I wondered what happened. It couldn’t have been Bella I was with…
“You remembered something,” Alice’s look pierced through me after she closed the door on her room.
“Kind of,” I sighed, “I think I have Bella’s hoodie in my apartment.”
“But you knew that before,” Alice looked confused.
“I didn’t realize it was hers,” my cheeks felt hot, “something happened and…”
“What do you mean by that?”
Blushing furiously, I explained to her that I found a condom missing at my place and that someone had been there, but I still didn’t know who it was for sure. But now that I recognized Bella’s perfume, I just felt worse for not remembering.
“Edward?” Alice’s voice made me look at her, “do you like Bella?”
“I don’t know Alice,” I sighed, “I’m so confused now. I mean, she’s beautiful; she’s always been smart and funny....”
“But…?”
“She probably doesn’t like me,” my eyes turned to the floor again; “She’s never noticed me, even back in Forks.”
Alice didn’t say anything and I used that moment to try and sort out my thoughts, especially those that Alice’s simple question revealed. I had to admit to myself that I did like Bella quite a lot, even if I didn’t really know how much that was. She was one of the smartest and prettiest girls I knew. And looking back at my memories of high school, she always was, I just never paid enough attention to any girls back then. Part of me wished it had been her in my apartment last night, but another part wished for the opposite, because I didn’t remember. I wanted to remember if it was Bella.
“Hey,” Alice tore me from my thoughts, “Do you want to come out for lunch with us?”
“Not today, Al,” I took a deep breath, “I need to do some stuff and… think.”
Alice left me to my thoughts then and went to get the others out for lunch. I heard them walking up and down the stairs and then the only thing left in the house was complete silence. For a while, I paced in circles in Alice’s room, then I walked out and headed to my apartment to get ready for the gig I had later. Playing tonight would help me sort out my thoughts, maybe it would help me figure out what the strange feeling was that I had any time I thought of Bella.
I hit the play button on my stereo and sighed again as the song began, because it brought Bella’s face to my mind and that in turn made my stomach feel like it did when I saw her. I’ve written it so long ago, the night after Alice and Bella’s graduation barbecue, the notes coming seemingly from nowhere. But now I’d always associate it with one face and one pair of brown eyes. And I’d most definitely play it again tonight, in the hope of remembering anything about the night I now realized I must’ve spent with Bella. My forehead fell down on my table as I sat down and the frustration was overwhelming. As the song kept playing, I slowly started remembering Bella’s smiles, her scent and the soft kiss I didn’t only dream after all.