dear Ambellina, the Prise wishes you to watch over me
so ive been going to cameron brown park almost everyday for the past week...i forgot how much i like to just wonder off in nature.
unfortunately this particular place has initial bad memories--like its stained or something--but going there everyday is helping to not see the stain so blatantly & im making new memories...better memories there.
i sat on a bench in front of the lake there the other day & looked up at the sky & had flashbacks of playing at my grandparents house out in the country in the middle of nowhere when i was little. i would just wonder about, lost in my imagination. sometimes i would pretend i had my own gymnastic/dance performance & of course i would be the star (bc believe it or not yes i took gymnastics when i was little-but i think everyone did...)
but my favorite pretend games were the ones where i wasnt really active doing anything save walking through the garden or swinging on the front porch swing. evrything took place in my mind. i remember once i was a part of the wild west(this most likely happened after i watched bonanza with my gpa--he watched it everyday..sometimes more than once a day..) i was in some kind of distress..& the cowboy rescued me. of course. another one i remember being some sort of indian princess misunderstood by everyone...& of course again-there was ...a boy. & in all of my pretend play games i always talked out loud to these people..im not sure why.. anyway -i have decided that even at a very young age i was a hopeless romantic. i miss just pretending. maybe im going through this feeling of loss bc ive just graduated..but still sitting there in the park, looking up at the sky- i just remembered how much innocence & trust there was back then. or more of the fact that i believed i could be w/e i wanted to be & i believed life would always work out for the best ....no matter what the antagonist in my daydreams was trying to do...i knew someone would always rescue me. everything was right & everything was safe. nature was wonderful ...inspiring so many adventures in my head...i want to be that daring again. i want the mindset that i can do w/e i want to do. i think i have come to rely on my shy side a little too much lately..i supose bc of fear that i should overcome & am quite capable of overcoming. i want to have the confidence in myself to know that i am beautiful & smart & talented & can do so many things...anything my heart desires..
...i dont really know if any this has much of a point...i know that im sick of seeing myself through others' eyes & am ready to simply enjoy being me..in every way..to bring out my personality..
i know that theres something just so calming & peaceful in nature..i know you all laugh at the whole jenna loves trees thing but seriously this is why--just go outside & sit. look at everything around you -trees, the sky, the birds..& you can just think-& refocus. there is something about what God has created that cannot help bringing glory to him.
...sorry there wasnt much of a point in that...just felt like writing about it..
You Are a Boston Creme Donut
You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.
What Donut Are You?
------brittany we are so going to gibsons when you get here lol
unfortunately this particular place has initial bad memories--like its stained or something--but going there everyday is helping to not see the stain so blatantly & im making new memories...better memories there.
i sat on a bench in front of the lake there the other day & looked up at the sky & had flashbacks of playing at my grandparents house out in the country in the middle of nowhere when i was little. i would just wonder about, lost in my imagination. sometimes i would pretend i had my own gymnastic/dance performance & of course i would be the star (bc believe it or not yes i took gymnastics when i was little-but i think everyone did...)
but my favorite pretend games were the ones where i wasnt really active doing anything save walking through the garden or swinging on the front porch swing. evrything took place in my mind. i remember once i was a part of the wild west(this most likely happened after i watched bonanza with my gpa--he watched it everyday..sometimes more than once a day..) i was in some kind of distress..& the cowboy rescued me. of course. another one i remember being some sort of indian princess misunderstood by everyone...& of course again-there was ...a boy. & in all of my pretend play games i always talked out loud to these people..im not sure why.. anyway -i have decided that even at a very young age i was a hopeless romantic. i miss just pretending. maybe im going through this feeling of loss bc ive just graduated..but still sitting there in the park, looking up at the sky- i just remembered how much innocence & trust there was back then. or more of the fact that i believed i could be w/e i wanted to be & i believed life would always work out for the best ....no matter what the antagonist in my daydreams was trying to do...i knew someone would always rescue me. everything was right & everything was safe. nature was wonderful ...inspiring so many adventures in my head...i want to be that daring again. i want the mindset that i can do w/e i want to do. i think i have come to rely on my shy side a little too much lately..i supose bc of fear that i should overcome & am quite capable of overcoming. i want to have the confidence in myself to know that i am beautiful & smart & talented & can do so many things...anything my heart desires..
...i dont really know if any this has much of a point...i know that im sick of seeing myself through others' eyes & am ready to simply enjoy being me..in every way..to bring out my personality..
i know that theres something just so calming & peaceful in nature..i know you all laugh at the whole jenna loves trees thing but seriously this is why--just go outside & sit. look at everything around you -trees, the sky, the birds..& you can just think-& refocus. there is something about what God has created that cannot help bringing glory to him.
...sorry there wasnt much of a point in that...just felt like writing about it..
You Are a Boston Creme Donut
You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.
What Donut Are You?
------brittany we are so going to gibsons when you get here lol