Now for a real entry
Sorry for the double entry. It's 3:30am and no one is awake. And the other one isn't even a real update, it's a survey. so ha. If you don't like it, don't read this.
My goodness, I'm in quite the mood. Half out of it, half... I don't know.
Looking back, a few of my actions tonight seemed kind of childish. At least I think so. I guess I just didn't know any other way to get the point across, if I even did. Trying to actually communicate, like an adult, didn't work. So I guess I have to stoop to his level. But then I feel bad. And I shouldn't, at all. I hate how it feels to be mad at someone. Thus why very few people have actually experienced me angry, or even disappointed. I'd just rather forget it and pretend it didn't happen. That's how I end up getting taken advantage of by a lot of people too. Too nice.
"Maybe I should hate you for this. Never really did ever quite get that far... The truth is, you could slit my throat. And with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt." (Taking Back Sunday- You're So Last Summer).
I listened to that song on the way to Steph's tonight and thought, "Wow. To a less extreme extent, that's me". I mean, I swore never to talk to Paul again and don't harbor very nice feelings for him, but called on New Year's Eve to wish him a Happy New Year (to be hung up on), and still can't completely be angry with him, as much as I try, and as much as he deserves it. What's wrong with me?
Besides that, the night was good. After all the boys left (right after I got there), we all just sat around in Steph's room. It's nice to just kick back and relax sometimes. We've learned that we don't always have to be going out from party to party to be enjoying ourselves.
Tomorrow night should be good too. Travis is having people over since apparently a lot of people are coming back into town to hang out. Fun fun!
My goodness, I'm in quite the mood. Half out of it, half... I don't know.
Looking back, a few of my actions tonight seemed kind of childish. At least I think so. I guess I just didn't know any other way to get the point across, if I even did. Trying to actually communicate, like an adult, didn't work. So I guess I have to stoop to his level. But then I feel bad. And I shouldn't, at all. I hate how it feels to be mad at someone. Thus why very few people have actually experienced me angry, or even disappointed. I'd just rather forget it and pretend it didn't happen. That's how I end up getting taken advantage of by a lot of people too. Too nice.
"Maybe I should hate you for this. Never really did ever quite get that far... The truth is, you could slit my throat. And with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt." (Taking Back Sunday- You're So Last Summer).
I listened to that song on the way to Steph's tonight and thought, "Wow. To a less extreme extent, that's me". I mean, I swore never to talk to Paul again and don't harbor very nice feelings for him, but called on New Year's Eve to wish him a Happy New Year (to be hung up on), and still can't completely be angry with him, as much as I try, and as much as he deserves it. What's wrong with me?
Besides that, the night was good. After all the boys left (right after I got there), we all just sat around in Steph's room. It's nice to just kick back and relax sometimes. We've learned that we don't always have to be going out from party to party to be enjoying ourselves.
Tomorrow night should be good too. Travis is having people over since apparently a lot of people are coming back into town to hang out. Fun fun!