oh, the trials and tribulations
good lord, where do i start...
well, as most know mr.m and i are in the middle of trying to figure out where to spend the next several years. after we got engaged, we made a deal that we would try our hardest to get him into law school and me into a decent residency in the same place. easy? FUCK NO. we applied in all the same cities where there was a program for each of us. about 15 in all. everywhere from arizona to arkansas.
because i am going into family medicine, i have much more choice and flexiblity than i would have with say, OB/GYN. however, there are specific criteria i am looking for in a program: Dual Osteopathic/MD accreditation in a community-based hospital, unopposed to other programs, and a formal "woman's health" track. there is one program that fulfills this 100% and one that does about 97%: Methodist Charlton in Dallas, and Texas Tech in Lubbock, respectively. As far as i was concerned, Lubbock was out in November when mr.m was not accepted to tech (bullshit, i might say) and methodist seemed like a pipe-dream when commuting became an issue with texas wesleyan. so i opened my mind and tried to leave my sentements aside about leaving an area i love and people that are like family. i was extremely impressed with a program in san antonio. not a bad choice. mr.m has always wanted to go there, and parents and sister live there. tulsa was ok, the law school was very interested in mr.m and they had all the things he wanted, and my program was good...not spectacular, but good. oklahoma city: not impressed with the law program myself, but the residency program had its shit together...except that it was chock full of devout evangelical christians. they advertised that aspect about themselves. i am ok with that, except when they use it to restrict patient's access to birthcontrol at their institution. not cool with me. cannot be there. university of arkansas was mr.m's wet dream. he got accepted there and it looked great. i wanted to like the arkansas program so bad. they, however, did not have their shit together. they didnt call me until late december for an interview because "my file was misplaced." they wont know about their accreditation until may, and ALL of their residents are foreign medical grads. i have NO problem with foreign medical grads, but it is a huge red flag with they cannot get one american graduate each year. also there are no DO's on staff. they all made some mass exodous last year because of "budget problems." needless to say, i didnt dig the arkansas.
this turned into a "logical choice" which would be tulsa. mr.m is in there, its a good school, and the OU program there was good. they offered me a pre-match position with a deadline and because we felt we had no other options, i accepted the position.
for some reason i didnt mind them and never withdrew from the match. then, mr.m gave me the best VD gift: after lots of talking with the two of us and personal introspection, he decided to put off law school until i am done with my residency. this means 2 incomes for the next several years and being able to pay for his school outright, instead of taking out an additional ungodly amount for loans. plus, it means that i am able to suddenly consider programs i wasnt able to before.
so now i have this unsigned contract from OU sitting on the table and a very nervous feeling. i feel baaaaaad about Tulsa. they have never been anything but lovely to me, and i am about to essentially fuck them over. also, mr.m hates his job and i feel terrible that he is going to do it for 3 more years...or something like it. i never ever suggested he do this because this is something he wanted to do before he met me. we met eachother at such a strange cross-roads in our lives that it is making for some rough decisions. however, it does make the most sense right now. after my residency, we can go anywhere he wants. i love that boy so much.
well, as most know mr.m and i are in the middle of trying to figure out where to spend the next several years. after we got engaged, we made a deal that we would try our hardest to get him into law school and me into a decent residency in the same place. easy? FUCK NO. we applied in all the same cities where there was a program for each of us. about 15 in all. everywhere from arizona to arkansas.
because i am going into family medicine, i have much more choice and flexiblity than i would have with say, OB/GYN. however, there are specific criteria i am looking for in a program: Dual Osteopathic/MD accreditation in a community-based hospital, unopposed to other programs, and a formal "woman's health" track. there is one program that fulfills this 100% and one that does about 97%: Methodist Charlton in Dallas, and Texas Tech in Lubbock, respectively. As far as i was concerned, Lubbock was out in November when mr.m was not accepted to tech (bullshit, i might say) and methodist seemed like a pipe-dream when commuting became an issue with texas wesleyan. so i opened my mind and tried to leave my sentements aside about leaving an area i love and people that are like family. i was extremely impressed with a program in san antonio. not a bad choice. mr.m has always wanted to go there, and parents and sister live there. tulsa was ok, the law school was very interested in mr.m and they had all the things he wanted, and my program was good...not spectacular, but good. oklahoma city: not impressed with the law program myself, but the residency program had its shit together...except that it was chock full of devout evangelical christians. they advertised that aspect about themselves. i am ok with that, except when they use it to restrict patient's access to birthcontrol at their institution. not cool with me. cannot be there. university of arkansas was mr.m's wet dream. he got accepted there and it looked great. i wanted to like the arkansas program so bad. they, however, did not have their shit together. they didnt call me until late december for an interview because "my file was misplaced." they wont know about their accreditation until may, and ALL of their residents are foreign medical grads. i have NO problem with foreign medical grads, but it is a huge red flag with they cannot get one american graduate each year. also there are no DO's on staff. they all made some mass exodous last year because of "budget problems." needless to say, i didnt dig the arkansas.
this turned into a "logical choice" which would be tulsa. mr.m is in there, its a good school, and the OU program there was good. they offered me a pre-match position with a deadline and because we felt we had no other options, i accepted the position.
for some reason i didnt mind them and never withdrew from the match. then, mr.m gave me the best VD gift: after lots of talking with the two of us and personal introspection, he decided to put off law school until i am done with my residency. this means 2 incomes for the next several years and being able to pay for his school outright, instead of taking out an additional ungodly amount for loans. plus, it means that i am able to suddenly consider programs i wasnt able to before.
so now i have this unsigned contract from OU sitting on the table and a very nervous feeling. i feel baaaaaad about Tulsa. they have never been anything but lovely to me, and i am about to essentially fuck them over. also, mr.m hates his job and i feel terrible that he is going to do it for 3 more years...or something like it. i never ever suggested he do this because this is something he wanted to do before he met me. we met eachother at such a strange cross-roads in our lives that it is making for some rough decisions. however, it does make the most sense right now. after my residency, we can go anywhere he wants. i love that boy so much.