Randoms...
Suggestions For Women To Respond To Pickup Lines
"I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
"It's in the phone book."
"But I don't know your name."
"That's in the phone book too."
"Your body is like a temple."
"Sorry, there are no services today."
Guy: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Girl: "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore."
"Your place or mine?"
"Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!
Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!
"I can see forever in your eyes."
Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."
"I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."
Response: "Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk."
Quotes
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.
-Fats Domino
“Young men think old men are fools, but old men know young men are fools.”
Truman Capote
“A word to the wise isn’t necessary- it’s the stupid ones that need advice.”
-Bill Cosby
Food for Thought
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
f electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?
Since there is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?
Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?
Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?
If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?
How come wine and hard liquor doesn't come in cans, but beer does?
If Sunday is the holy day of rest why do we have to get up early for church?
What is the parking situation like at the Special Olympics?
If shampoo comes in so many colors, why is the lather on your head always white?
If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?