If only I was better.

[jenjen1026]

So I took my math exam today..it was WAY harder than the stupid practice packet they sent out to us for us to study with. There was not enough time to finish hardly..it was really nerve-wracking. I was literally shaking/getting kinda dizzy while I was doing the test because I was running out of time and felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack or something. It was ridiculous..and extremely upsetting because I don't think I passed. I must have missed more than 4-which was the maximum amount you can miss in order to pass. I guessed on 2 or 3 of them and I definitely did 3 other ones wrong -I remembered the exact question and asked my brother the answers later and they were different from mine- so they are for sure wrong...plus I really think my 3 guesses were wrong. That means I missed at least 6..which is still an 80% but I needed an 84% to pass. The more I think about it, the more I actually know I didn't pass. I should have known how to do the problems..I should have studied other things. I am really dissapointed in myself. If only I was smarter at freaken math then I would have passed. sigh. Plus..I am not really that bad at math it's just fucking algebra that I am not so good at..give me a complex statistics problem and I can solve it! Anyway, so my chances of getting into this college are actually pretty much gone. My dream college is now out of reach and so is getting my Bachelor's degree. It just really really sucks. I've worked so hard for this..and now it seems it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I have outstanding grades, and had a great essay on my application..all that matters is I didn't do well enough on one math test. I don't know how colleges can accept people based on those terms.
Anyway, today was definitely a learning experience for me. Not necessarily a good one.

I really can't help but feel like a complete failure.