A warm yellow light.
I can't believe it's been a year since Luke passed.
It still feels surreal to think that he's not here anymore.
I was going to say that he's "gone".
But the truth is he isn't gone.
He'll never be gone.
He's always going to be here in some way.
Sometimes I'll be driving or walking and i see someone and ask myself
"is that him?" and then I realize it's not.
I feel like my heart hurts everytime I realize it's not him.
And that I'll never see him again.
Atleast not in this life.
I wish I could see him again.
Just one more time.
I would tell him how much I wished we had talked more.
I would hug him.
And tell him how loved he is.
I'm excited for his benefit concert.
I know he will be there.
I know he will see all the people there and see how loved and missed he is.
I remember at his visitation,
there were so many people there,
we had to wait in line for almost an hour to even get inside the funeral home.
There was such a diverse group of people there.
Older people, younger people, everyone from "jocks" to "emos"
Everyone that was lucky enough to know Luke,
and everyone whose life was touched by him in someway.
I remember waiting in the line to walk by his casket.
His parents were standing right by him.
They shook everyones hand and introduced themselves.
By the time it was my turn I was crying so hard I couldn't even speak.
You could see the pain in his parents faces.
I remember seeing Katherine there. She gave me the hugest hug ever,
and thanked me for coming. I think I started crying harder after that,
because Ive never seen her so sad.
What do you say to the parents or close friend who has just lost someone so important to them?
"I'm sorry for your loss?"
That's not even close to being enough.
That's not going to comfort them.
"Your son/friend was one of the most amazing people I have ever known and he will never ever be forgotten. "
I guess that's closer.
But it's hard to say when you're bawling your eyes out, that's for sure.
It still feels surreal to think that he's not here anymore.
I was going to say that he's "gone".
But the truth is he isn't gone.
He'll never be gone.
He's always going to be here in some way.
Sometimes I'll be driving or walking and i see someone and ask myself
"is that him?" and then I realize it's not.
I feel like my heart hurts everytime I realize it's not him.
And that I'll never see him again.
Atleast not in this life.
I wish I could see him again.
Just one more time.
I would tell him how much I wished we had talked more.
I would hug him.
And tell him how loved he is.
I'm excited for his benefit concert.
I know he will be there.
I know he will see all the people there and see how loved and missed he is.
I remember at his visitation,
there were so many people there,
we had to wait in line for almost an hour to even get inside the funeral home.
There was such a diverse group of people there.
Older people, younger people, everyone from "jocks" to "emos"
Everyone that was lucky enough to know Luke,
and everyone whose life was touched by him in someway.
I remember waiting in the line to walk by his casket.
His parents were standing right by him.
They shook everyones hand and introduced themselves.
By the time it was my turn I was crying so hard I couldn't even speak.
You could see the pain in his parents faces.
I remember seeing Katherine there. She gave me the hugest hug ever,
and thanked me for coming. I think I started crying harder after that,
because Ive never seen her so sad.
What do you say to the parents or close friend who has just lost someone so important to them?
"I'm sorry for your loss?"
That's not even close to being enough.
That's not going to comfort them.
"Your son/friend was one of the most amazing people I have ever known and he will never ever be forgotten. "
I guess that's closer.
But it's hard to say when you're bawling your eyes out, that's for sure.