(no subject)

[jenglel]

I got to talk to the dude I'm crushing on for about 45 minutes last night. It was nice. I didn't ask him out. But I'm thinking if things are going to happen, it'll take some time. I don't know, I'm kind of an old fashioned romantic in the way that I want to be persued. I want to be chased down. I'm not a preditor, I like being the prey. So, me taking the initiative is something that I don't want to do. And it's been my experience that it works out better for me to be persued than for me to do the persuing. Granted, I'll send out the signals, but if they're not picked up, I'm not going to push it. That's the way I am and that's the way I shall be. I've been lonely lately, but I have faith. Although sometimes that faith gets wilted down to almost nothing, it's still there.

One of my coworkers loaned me her seasons of Smallville. I'm happy about that. It keeps the lonliness at bay most nights. But I'm running out of episodes... and I'm not sure what fix I'll get after I have no more to watch. That frightens me more than anything. Isn't that kind of screwed up? My biggest fear right now is running out of Smallville. Which actually translates into: My biggest fear is feeling alone.

I'm just sick of waiting for a great guy to realize how cool I know I am. But I have no choice. What spawned this rant is that all my nearest and dearest have their great guys for the holidays and here I am without one, yet again. *sigh*

Time,
Be good to me this next year.
Please.