Pride - Part Nineteen
Thank You as always to bee_ta_baby for being the bestest beta ever. She's a star and must be worshipped.
Title: Pride
Author: jenexell
Pairing/Characters: VigOrli with hints of Orlijah if you squint and tilt your head just so. Ian, Dom, Billy, Sean B.
Rating: R for some violence and bad language. NC-17 later.
Disclaimer: If this was real, I wouldn't share. As its not, I'm sharing with no personal gain or profit, other than perhaps to feed my attention whore complex. non-recognisable elements are mine! plagiarists will be eaten alive weasels. Distribution: My Journal, box_of_tales, and quite a few other places too. (attention whore complex). If you want it, ask me.
Warnings: Some violent imagery. Cats. I'm serious. CATS!
Summery: It was so mind bending, but it was real, and it was happening to him, so one way or another he would have to get his act together and cope. Because if he didn’t? Well if he didn’t he would probably end up some kind of whacked out nervous wreck, who lived alone, jumped at shadows and turned into a screaming loony at the sight of his auntie’s cats.
Part Nineteen - Confession
“Are you actually going to talk? Or did you just ask me to stay so I could watch you pace.”
Sean sighed when he got no response from a pacing Viggo. He was exhausted, strung out, and would much prefer to be soaking in a hot bath right now rather than watch his best friend furiously storm back and forth across the kitchen. Either that, or be a good way through a half dozen pints. He doubted he was the only one feeling this way either. It had been one hell of a stressful night. First loosing Orlando, then the exhausting search, then finding him curled around Viggo as if he was the only thing that made sense in the world anymore. The kid had been a mess. It had taken forever and a truckload of reassurance from Viggo - no one else, just Viggo, the kid seemed to be petrified of the rest of them - to get him changed back, then back to the house, and finally they could work on calming him down.
That’s what Ian, Dom, and Elijah were doing now; they’d taken him straight upstairs. Sean wasn’t sure why Viggo hadn’t wanted to go, but there wasn’t much about Viggo at the moment he was sure of. Like what the hell had been going in his head the last few days. Like why when he’d seemed to make it his personal mission to oversee every aspect of Orlando’s training, he’d left it to him, Sean, to be the one to take him outside for the first time. Like why, once Orlando had changed back in the park and it was clear that he was at least aware of what was going on, he’d near enough pushed the boy away and kept his distance ever since.
“Vig” He sighed, “there’s a bath upstairs calling my name really loud.”
Viggo paused, but didn’t face Sean. “I have a problem.”
“This is news?” Sean shot back glibly.
It appeared Viggo wasn’t seeing the humour, as he turned and slammed his hands down on the kitchen table. “This isn’t funny Sean! I…”
Sean narrowed his eyes and sat forward. “What’s going on Vig?”
Moving to the sink, Viggo rested his hands on the edge and leant on them, keeping his back to Sean. Taking a deep breath, he tried to order his thoughts, tried to find the best way to express what he needed to, and yet the poet couldn’t find the words. Instead he heard himself blurting it out in the way he would have least liked to have said it. “I wanna fuck Orlando.”
Sean choked and stared owlishly at Viggo’s back. For a second his mind went to a scary visual place he would rather it didn’t then he got a grip on himself.
“O...Kay... Not what I expected you to say, but...” No, it really wasn’t what he’d expected Viggo to say but thinking about it, he shouldn’t have been surprised. Orlando was attractive. Hell, he’d met women he’d found less attractive, married them even, and he was probably the straightest man in this house. So was there a problem with Viggo screwing Orlando? “Are we talking up against a wall or lay ‘im down, rose petals, poetry, and candles?”
Viggo spun round stared at Sean incredulously for a second, his mouth moving but no sound coming out. Then fury set in. How dare he make light of this! “How... what... He’s a fucking child Sean! I’m 39! I’m old enough to be his father for fucks sake!”
“And he’s 21! That’s not that young Vig! Christ, he’s old enough to have kids of his own!” Sean argued back. He really didn’t see Viggo’s problem. Sure Orlando was a little young, but he was surely no innocent. Besides, Viggo hadn’t pursued a relationship in years; Orlando could be just what he needed. “I don’t see your problem. If you want him, go after him.”
“You don’t understand!” Viggo growled.
“Then explain it to me.” Sean sighed exasperation. “Because as far as I can see, there’s nothing stopping you two. For fucks sake Vig, even I’ve noticed he looks at you like you hung the bloody moon and I couldn’t even tell my wife was fucking our pool cleaner even when they both stood in front of me.”
“That’s just it!” Viggo cried out.
Sean just couldn’t resist when Viggo paused. Come on, it was just too easy. “Orlando’s fucking the pool cleaner? We’d don’t even have a pool.”
Viggo swung him a furious look and Sean raised his hands in surrender. When Sean coughed and waved him on, Viggo dropped into a seat opposite Sean and sighed, “It’s the way he looks at me Sean. Like I’ll chase all the bad things away and keep him safe. Like Henry used to! You say he’s not a child but you’re wrong! He is! He’s practically helpless, everything he does he needs someone to reassure him, and that someone is always me! Every time he meets someone new, he looks to me to make sure they’re safe! Every time something happens, it’s me he looks to to save him! Every time he looks at me like that, I know he’s begging me to make everything better, to protect him, and guide him, like a father, and all I want to do is throw him down on the nearest flat surface and fuck his brains out!”
Sean watched as Viggo covered his face with his hands. He was a cunt. An absolute cunt. This was obviously eating Viggo alive, and he’d been joking about. And fuck, if Viggo didn’t have reason to be worked up. Getting up from his seat, he pulled the chair out next to his friend and sat down, wrapping his arm around Viggo’s shoulders. “Shit Vig, how long?”
Viggo frowned as he thought about Sean’s question. How long had he been attracted to Orlando? Since the party? No that was when he realised. So when? A memory flickered through his mind and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Towels.”
“What?” Sean asked in confusion.
“The first day he got out of bed. I brought him towels… he smiled.” Viggo let out a scornful huffed laugh, “Twice. It took my breath away.”
“Hell Vig, I’ve seen that boy smile. I’m almost jealous you saw it first.” Sean laughed softly. “But you can’t tell me you’ve been stewing that long.”
“No... I... At the party... that’s when it got... serious.” Viggo confessed. “He’s needy, dependant, scared... and I... It has to be wrong, to think about him that way. I looked in his eyes that night and I knew he’d do anything I told him to do. Anything. It would be so easy to take advantage of that.”
“Don’t think that.” Sean admonished quickly. “You could never take advantage of anyone. That you’re so messed up about this proves it. Besides there’s a lot about Orlando to like Vig, he’s an attractive lad and don’t think for a second the reason you like him is because of how dependant he is. You’re a good man Viggo, and I’ll not hear anyone say aught else about you, not even you.”
Viggo shook his head sadly and stood up again, moving away from Sean’s comfort. “I can’t do this... Lynne’s been pressuring me to go back to LA, there’s some job offers on the table she thinks I should look at... I think it would be best for everyone if I go.”
“I agree.” Sean stated firmly.
“But you said...” Viggo frowned. Sean had just spent an incredible amount of breath trying to convince him he wasn’t a raving pervert, and now he was agreeing he should leave?
“I know what I said Vig, but that doesn’t change the fact you’re going round in circles, driving yourself round the twist. I know you won’t believe anything I said until you can prove it to yourself, and this may be the chance you need. Go to LA. Spend some time with Henry. Take him camping. Go find yourself in the woods or some other artistic crap. And if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for Orlando. You said it yourself, he’s too dependent, and you’re right. Ian and I have been talking about this for days. How did Ian put it? He’s become comfortable relying on us, on you. But he can’t stay like that forever Vig and he’s not going to start relying on himself if you’re still here. Look, I’m not blaming you, but he leans on you and you let him. So go. Go back to LA, sort yourself out, and give Orlando the chance to do the same. And when you come back, who knows.”
Viggo narrowed his eyes and regarded Sean carefully. “Why do I get the feeling you’ve been practicing that speech?”
“Maybe because I’ve been practicing ways to get rid of your for years?” Sean grinned, then sobered. “I’ve been worried about you. I think this has been coming for a while now Vig. I know you miss Henry. Before all this tonight, I thought… I thought maybe that was the problem, and I still think it’s a big part of it. You hardly leave the house, you’re lonely, you miss your son, and you have someone around here who fits that role nicely, but that you like in a very different way. I may not know what you’re feeling, but I can guess, and I know you need to go Viggo.”
Viggo nodded slowly, letting Sean’s word sink in and accepting the truth of them. He hadn’t been working, he’d thought he would enjoy the time to himself but he’d lost his way a bit. And Sean could well be right about the lonely part; he couldn’t remember the last time he did something social that wasn’t connected to the family. That just left... “Orlando will be hurt. He’ll think I’ve abandoned him.”
Sean snorted. “He’ll get over it.”
Viggo smiled a small sad smile and started for the door. “I suppose I better call Lynne... and Sean?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you, for listening. I feel... better for having talked to you.”
Sean sighed and levered himself out of his seat, and moving to Viggo, he pulled him into a friendly hug.
“Daft git. Get that twisted head of yours in order and come home soon.”
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Later that night, as the house slept, Sean slipped out of his room in feline form and headed down the hallway to Viggo’s. Two feline eyes on the bed caught the light and reflected back at him. Padding closer, Sean climbed up on the bed and curled around Viggo’s back, his head coming to rest on Viggo’s neck.
Viggo’s eyes slipped shut and the tension in his body eased. Nuzzling at the Lion-like feline’s mane, Sean sighed. There was no need to ask why Sean was there, and there were no words to be spoken. They were Pride.
Tbc...
Part Twenty - When he was bad…