Oh my life is actually happening.
I remember when I was about 6 years old. I was a mature little girl, wishing to be 25, the ideal age because I would be done with all forms of schooling, and maybe at this prime age I could be an adult, have my job and maybe be married. I may not be at that great age of 25, but I am certainly fastly approaching adulthood.
I remember when I was 11 years old, about to "graduate" elementary school, telling everyone that I wish I was graduating high school so I could go to Stanford like my sisters and get out of my broken home full of nutcases and circus freaks. I cannot believe that this was 7 years ago, that I have graduated, that I do not live with the circus freaks anymore, that I am going to college in such a short time.
My life will actually fall together now. The jigsaw puzzle will be connected. No more tears over my "terrible life and my terrible mom and my terrible dad." All is forgiven. Some people just do not have the mental capacity to do certain things and that is perfectly acceptable. And I know that I was mature before, but I feel so independent and free now. I feel less urges to be mean to people and I don't know, more good wishes towards people.
I have long since learned that I should love everyone. Yes, I sound like a hippie, but seriously, hating someone does not help in any way, it just makes you less of a person and lowers yourself to the level of that which you hate. And why be a hypocrite? If people behave rudely to me, well maybe they were just raised badly, and in that case, its not their fault. I have stopped being so judgemental, and it is doing me wonders. I find myself so much happier then I was two months ago. Of course I am human, and there is the occassional "Screw you for not tipping me!" or "Grr you make me so mad," but who can help all of the negative thoughts? Cathy just tries her best!
When Mae comes, I will be excited, but I will not behave like a wide-eyed school girl whom mae only likes because I love them so much. I do really want to be buddies with them, converse with them on life, and talk about philosophy and such. And Jacob and I have exchanged many emails on books and life and music and such, and its so nice that I can just talk to him about that.
Oh life, when I asked you to pass by fast, I did not really expect you to follow through!
Today I registered for my classes. Looks like I am stuck with Shakespeare English, World History, Geology and Economics. I love how in college, I can successfully get away with not taking any math classes. I love college!
Sunday was Matchbook Romance which was super cool minus the tons of hot topic 8th graders present. The opening bands were superb. I kinda fell in love with Rock Kills Kid, and had fun dancing to their awesome tunes. And I took awesome pictures.
Work is crappy. Friends are fun! I saw My Sper Ex-Girlfriend today, which was very amusing. Tomorrow is The Format, who have climbed their way to my top 10 bands with their album Dog Problems. Last show before mae! Squirms in seat with excitement.
I know I am random. Maybe thats why youre friends with me? I dunno
I am going to be super random and go running now! At 3:27 in the am. And only cool kids named cathy do that.
While I am running, I will think of you.
I wish I could run to the end of the earth, because then you'd be there.
You are my obstacle course.
You are the stars that I can never run far enough or fast enough to reach.
I remember when I was 11 years old, about to "graduate" elementary school, telling everyone that I wish I was graduating high school so I could go to Stanford like my sisters and get out of my broken home full of nutcases and circus freaks. I cannot believe that this was 7 years ago, that I have graduated, that I do not live with the circus freaks anymore, that I am going to college in such a short time.
My life will actually fall together now. The jigsaw puzzle will be connected. No more tears over my "terrible life and my terrible mom and my terrible dad." All is forgiven. Some people just do not have the mental capacity to do certain things and that is perfectly acceptable. And I know that I was mature before, but I feel so independent and free now. I feel less urges to be mean to people and I don't know, more good wishes towards people.
I have long since learned that I should love everyone. Yes, I sound like a hippie, but seriously, hating someone does not help in any way, it just makes you less of a person and lowers yourself to the level of that which you hate. And why be a hypocrite? If people behave rudely to me, well maybe they were just raised badly, and in that case, its not their fault. I have stopped being so judgemental, and it is doing me wonders. I find myself so much happier then I was two months ago. Of course I am human, and there is the occassional "Screw you for not tipping me!" or "Grr you make me so mad," but who can help all of the negative thoughts? Cathy just tries her best!
When Mae comes, I will be excited, but I will not behave like a wide-eyed school girl whom mae only likes because I love them so much. I do really want to be buddies with them, converse with them on life, and talk about philosophy and such. And Jacob and I have exchanged many emails on books and life and music and such, and its so nice that I can just talk to him about that.
Oh life, when I asked you to pass by fast, I did not really expect you to follow through!
Today I registered for my classes. Looks like I am stuck with Shakespeare English, World History, Geology and Economics. I love how in college, I can successfully get away with not taking any math classes. I love college!
Sunday was Matchbook Romance which was super cool minus the tons of hot topic 8th graders present. The opening bands were superb. I kinda fell in love with Rock Kills Kid, and had fun dancing to their awesome tunes. And I took awesome pictures.
Work is crappy. Friends are fun! I saw My Sper Ex-Girlfriend today, which was very amusing. Tomorrow is The Format, who have climbed their way to my top 10 bands with their album Dog Problems. Last show before mae! Squirms in seat with excitement.
I know I am random. Maybe thats why youre friends with me? I dunno
I am going to be super random and go running now! At 3:27 in the am. And only cool kids named cathy do that.
While I am running, I will think of you.
I wish I could run to the end of the earth, because then you'd be there.
You are my obstacle course.
You are the stars that I can never run far enough or fast enough to reach.