My Life Is Awesome.
Today, I went to WalMart (there's a new one by my house!) to pick up some stuff for game night tonight.
I was waiting in line at the Speedy Checkout, and these ladies in front of me had more than 20 items. I was irritated. That's the reason they say 20 items, because that's what keeps it SPEEDY! So here I am, all cranky- and this guy is pushing his cart up like he's gonna edge me out.
I was not having it. That's when this old man walks up. He had to be in his 70s, white hair, kind of hunched over, age spots all over his face. He marches right up to me and says "Are you ready, young lady?"
I give him a puzzled look, push my cart forward a little and say "Yes." I have no idea what he's asking me if I'm ready for.
That's when he starts in on this little story- "A fish is swimming along, turns right and bumps his head." I look at him with this puzzled look on my face. "So he backs up, swims a little farther, turns right and bumps his head again. So he backs up, swims a little farther, turns right and bumps his head and says 'Damn!'" I blink my eyes a few times, processing what he's just told me.
OH! Dam! HAHAHA! I started laughing really hard, and the man behind me was also laughing- so the man just keeps on in. He is telling us joke after joke until a cashier comes over and opens a new line. Both he and the man behind me say they'll allow me to be the first person she rings up- and I say "Good I have to get home and cook for a bunch of people!" He says "Well I'm coming over! What's your address?!" I said "I'm not telling, but if you can find it, you can have dinner!"
He turns to the cashier and says "I'm following her home!" He gives her a piece of candy and says "That's for you!" He takes the opportunity to heckle her about how slowly she's ringing up my items, and is just chatting with everyone. As I lean over to swipe my card to finish the transaction, I brushed against his shoulder.
He leans in to me and rubs up against me again- turns to me and says "That's the most sex I've had all day!" I look at him in astonishment and he asks me "Was it as good for you?"
I laugh and say "Absolutely," as I take my bags and reciept.
I love my life... if I hadn't lost my job... I'd have been at work and never met this adorable little old man who brightened everyone's day for at least 5 minutes. It's just one more thing that makes me realize-- there are no coincidences. Everything in your life is as it should be... even if it doesn't feel like it.
I was waiting in line at the Speedy Checkout, and these ladies in front of me had more than 20 items. I was irritated. That's the reason they say 20 items, because that's what keeps it SPEEDY! So here I am, all cranky- and this guy is pushing his cart up like he's gonna edge me out.
I was not having it. That's when this old man walks up. He had to be in his 70s, white hair, kind of hunched over, age spots all over his face. He marches right up to me and says "Are you ready, young lady?"
I give him a puzzled look, push my cart forward a little and say "Yes." I have no idea what he's asking me if I'm ready for.
That's when he starts in on this little story- "A fish is swimming along, turns right and bumps his head." I look at him with this puzzled look on my face. "So he backs up, swims a little farther, turns right and bumps his head again. So he backs up, swims a little farther, turns right and bumps his head and says 'Damn!'" I blink my eyes a few times, processing what he's just told me.
OH! Dam! HAHAHA! I started laughing really hard, and the man behind me was also laughing- so the man just keeps on in. He is telling us joke after joke until a cashier comes over and opens a new line. Both he and the man behind me say they'll allow me to be the first person she rings up- and I say "Good I have to get home and cook for a bunch of people!" He says "Well I'm coming over! What's your address?!" I said "I'm not telling, but if you can find it, you can have dinner!"
He turns to the cashier and says "I'm following her home!" He gives her a piece of candy and says "That's for you!" He takes the opportunity to heckle her about how slowly she's ringing up my items, and is just chatting with everyone. As I lean over to swipe my card to finish the transaction, I brushed against his shoulder.
He leans in to me and rubs up against me again- turns to me and says "That's the most sex I've had all day!" I look at him in astonishment and he asks me "Was it as good for you?"
I laugh and say "Absolutely," as I take my bags and reciept.
I love my life... if I hadn't lost my job... I'd have been at work and never met this adorable little old man who brightened everyone's day for at least 5 minutes. It's just one more thing that makes me realize-- there are no coincidences. Everything in your life is as it should be... even if it doesn't feel like it.