everyone was hoping i'd fall apart
i got onto my computer and i saw the picture of me hula-hooping at k-mart when i went there with a elizabeh. i remembered how great it was and i just wish i had a spare second to stop and be with people. other than dreaming about happiness, this week has been pretty awful. the musical has been crazy stressful for me, with a shitload of emotions running around backstage. in addition ive just been feeling really trapped down. i have all this stuff to do and instead of doing it i dont do anything and then i have even more to do and i never have a second to really breathe or sleep or think. or maybe i think too much and that's the problem. thats the thing i cant even tell. i want to rip out all my hair and at the same time i hate myself for being so down becuase i know that nothing is really that bad. gAH CONLFICTING EMOTIONS.