Still I can't get used to...all you want me to be - May 18, 2008
(written in my blog October 29, 2007)
As far as heightened expectations, I’ve never been a person who took disappointment very well. At times in the past I’ve been utterly disappointed in everyone around me, myself included as well as the human race in its entirety. But as I’ve said many times, when the same feelings arise time and time again and you keep blaming everyone around you it’s time to take a good hard look at yourself. It’s not them baby, it’s YOU.
In my Jennie mind I have an endlessly running idea of THE WAY THINGS SHOULD GO and when they don’t go that particular way, when more than likely I havenâ™t even explained the criteria to anyone else, I feel angry and disillusioned. Over the past few years I’ve been combating this issue by taking the time to explain to everyone what I want and need to be satisfied. But recently I’m recognizing that this is not the solution, it’s just a band aid for the issue. What I really need is to change this part of my thought process. I need to completely abandon any perceptions I have about things and then just enjoy moments for what they are. I can no longer allow these seeds of discontent to take root in my heart and ruin otherwise happy circumstances.
Current thoughts: I’m still working on this, it’s so hard to eliminate those characteristics that are firmly entrenched in your personality. I have to constantly remind myself to stop putting myself and everyone on the rack for everything. We’re all human, we all make mistakes. It’s unavoidable and it’s okay.
See more progress on: learn to keep my expectations realistic