Closure
Found something out today, or finally forced myself to realise something, that was a little disappointing, but at the same time, a relief. I felt equally relieved and sick inside at the same time. Wasn't feeling bad because I couldn't have what I wanted to have, but more because it was final for once. Is it better to hear something you don't want to hear or to keep on wondering if you're ever going to hear it and revelling in the fact that you haven't..yet? The short, sharp pain of reality is better in the end methinks. Made worse by the fact there was some small glimmer of potential there in the first place. Circumstances always get in the way, don't they just? Nothing in life is ever as black and white as we'd like it to be, but I must console myself by the fact this episode and the months running up to it, are only a small part of my life and there are so many other great things and people in it. It would be self indulgent of me to get too wrapped up in this one...
Anyway, aside from all this emotive rubbish (which had to be put in black and white for me to deal with it hey; maybe that's what comes of being a journalist? Never mind the fact half of you won't have a CLUE what I've just been talking about, it doesn't matter one bit. Suffice to say I'm just fine, don't worry:))
Saw a preview showing of Moulin Rouge in Bristol last night and absolutely LOVED it. It's a bit of a chick flick but very very funny and extremely clever; would expect nothing less from the genius director of the modern Romeo and Juliet. Slightly cheesey in parts, but that added to it's magic. Besides, Ewan MacGregor looked thiiiiiiiis yummy in it!
Planned to stay in tonight, for financial reasons, but started drinking at 4.30 when I bumped into Rob in town. He bought me a triple vodka without me knowing it. And there was me thinking I was a COMPLETE lightweight. Lol. Got home and just about sobered up (feeling very uneasy at being that drunk at that time of the afternoon and amused by the fact I bumped into PC Pete on duty in town and admitted to being drunk and quite possibly, or potentially, disorderly! Hahaha), when Ed O came round wanting to go out to the pub. Nice to see him and say goodbye as he's off to college tomorrow. Came home starving (forgot to have any dinner) and ate fish and chips, watched some channel 4 rubbish and then came in here to listen to newly-downloaded Moulin Rouge soundtrack goodies. Have been mostly talking to my Vee Vee, but had time for an 'argument' with Dan about being judgemental, or otherwise. Teehee!
Bonnie, Emily etc and I are hitting the town tomorrow night, so that promises to be some good, drunken, girly fun. Just what this girl needs at the moment. Think I'll go see what rubbish is on the telly...not quite tired enough for my liking yet; could be hot milk time. TTFN xx
BUGGER-Just tipped half a jar of olives all over myself and my carpet; more's the pity they're black ones so the olive oil is a nice, staining colour. My poor carpet-that's red wine and olives all in one week...
Anyway, aside from all this emotive rubbish (which had to be put in black and white for me to deal with it hey; maybe that's what comes of being a journalist? Never mind the fact half of you won't have a CLUE what I've just been talking about, it doesn't matter one bit. Suffice to say I'm just fine, don't worry:))
Saw a preview showing of Moulin Rouge in Bristol last night and absolutely LOVED it. It's a bit of a chick flick but very very funny and extremely clever; would expect nothing less from the genius director of the modern Romeo and Juliet. Slightly cheesey in parts, but that added to it's magic. Besides, Ewan MacGregor looked thiiiiiiiis yummy in it!
Planned to stay in tonight, for financial reasons, but started drinking at 4.30 when I bumped into Rob in town. He bought me a triple vodka without me knowing it. And there was me thinking I was a COMPLETE lightweight. Lol. Got home and just about sobered up (feeling very uneasy at being that drunk at that time of the afternoon and amused by the fact I bumped into PC Pete on duty in town and admitted to being drunk and quite possibly, or potentially, disorderly! Hahaha), when Ed O came round wanting to go out to the pub. Nice to see him and say goodbye as he's off to college tomorrow. Came home starving (forgot to have any dinner) and ate fish and chips, watched some channel 4 rubbish and then came in here to listen to newly-downloaded Moulin Rouge soundtrack goodies. Have been mostly talking to my Vee Vee, but had time for an 'argument' with Dan about being judgemental, or otherwise. Teehee!
Bonnie, Emily etc and I are hitting the town tomorrow night, so that promises to be some good, drunken, girly fun. Just what this girl needs at the moment. Think I'll go see what rubbish is on the telly...not quite tired enough for my liking yet; could be hot milk time. TTFN xx
BUGGER-Just tipped half a jar of olives all over myself and my carpet; more's the pity they're black ones so the olive oil is a nice, staining colour. My poor carpet-that's red wine and olives all in one week...