Another nightmare day..
What on EARTH is going on with my life right now? Why can't ANYTHING go right I ask you? God damn.
I got into this ridiculous war with my boss at work today, which ended up with me in tears. Once the tap was turned on it seemed I just couldn't reverse it. Silly thing is I know most of it was completely non work-related and a culmination of all the crap things that have happened to me lately and all the people who have let me down. Things just went from bad to worse at work today though, to the point where I thought my head was going to explode. I thought I would either end up crying my head off or killing someone/breaking something, so maybe it was best it ended up being the former? Well, what happened in summary? A few emails between me and said boss, a few misunderstandings, me getting too defensive and feeling sorry for myself and the whole thing turning into a complete fucking nightmare. I ended up putting the phone down on her because I burst into tears (which everyone got to know about and was very embarrassing) Then she drove over to 'clear the air,' which ended up with more crying, and eventually a truce and some kind of resolve. The whole day had just got worse and worse with one thing and another before that anyway, especially when I bumped into a certain person I have just fallen out with (if you know me at all and have spoken to me lately you'll know who that is) and couldn't bring myself to speak to him, to even raise a polite smile. Nothing. I think I managed a 'hello' sbut he must know things are seriously wrong between us. Whether he cares or wants to do anything to put that right remains to be seen. He makes me feel blank inside now. The anger has gone and now I just feel disappointment and immense disbelief that someone I cared so much for could be so low, hurt me so much, seemingly not care and act like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. And to come face to face with him after all that's happened lately was horrible. I just couldn't remove myself from the situation what with it being work and I had to keep a brave face on, as per usual.
Veronica called me last night when I was just about at the lowest I have been for a while. Really cheered me up (cheers sweetheart!) which was great. I almost had a positive head on this morning, until about 10am!
Anyway, who can say what will happen. I'm wondering if ANYTHING will and I'm also starting to wonder just when my run of GOOD luck is going to start up again...
I got into this ridiculous war with my boss at work today, which ended up with me in tears. Once the tap was turned on it seemed I just couldn't reverse it. Silly thing is I know most of it was completely non work-related and a culmination of all the crap things that have happened to me lately and all the people who have let me down. Things just went from bad to worse at work today though, to the point where I thought my head was going to explode. I thought I would either end up crying my head off or killing someone/breaking something, so maybe it was best it ended up being the former? Well, what happened in summary? A few emails between me and said boss, a few misunderstandings, me getting too defensive and feeling sorry for myself and the whole thing turning into a complete fucking nightmare. I ended up putting the phone down on her because I burst into tears (which everyone got to know about and was very embarrassing) Then she drove over to 'clear the air,' which ended up with more crying, and eventually a truce and some kind of resolve. The whole day had just got worse and worse with one thing and another before that anyway, especially when I bumped into a certain person I have just fallen out with (if you know me at all and have spoken to me lately you'll know who that is) and couldn't bring myself to speak to him, to even raise a polite smile. Nothing. I think I managed a 'hello' sbut he must know things are seriously wrong between us. Whether he cares or wants to do anything to put that right remains to be seen. He makes me feel blank inside now. The anger has gone and now I just feel disappointment and immense disbelief that someone I cared so much for could be so low, hurt me so much, seemingly not care and act like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. And to come face to face with him after all that's happened lately was horrible. I just couldn't remove myself from the situation what with it being work and I had to keep a brave face on, as per usual.
Veronica called me last night when I was just about at the lowest I have been for a while. Really cheered me up (cheers sweetheart!) which was great. I almost had a positive head on this morning, until about 10am!
Anyway, who can say what will happen. I'm wondering if ANYTHING will and I'm also starting to wonder just when my run of GOOD luck is going to start up again...