Reasons why I hate Thanksgiving (this is not a bitter entry; promise)
I think it's an awesome idea to set aside a day to be thankful and to spend with friends, family and/or the less fortunate (hey; I used to spend Thanksgivings in a soup kitchen with people a lot more sane than my mother). But seriously, folks, let's get the record straight:
1.The Europeans who landed in North America and colonized this country ended up giving the natives syphilis and smallpox and taking all their land to eventually become Paneras and Neiman Marcuses (Marci?). And what do they get in return? A few casinos on worthless sandy reservation land. And Pocahontas.
2.The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade is, by my estimate, 40% Christmas stuff. I celebrate Christmas, so I'm not coming from a disenfranchised group when I say HEY, WHERE'S THE CHANUKAH STUFF? What about Ramadan? Kwanzaa even? Given that probably 80% of the financiers of that damn waste of balloon material and Miley Cyrus booking fees are Jewish -- and hey! we have an African American president finally!! -- we'd have some more variety. Or, you know, just stick with Thanksgiving stuff. 'Cause they call it a Thanksgiving parade.
3.It seems kind of sick and a bit Old Testament to rear a bunch of one type of animal (i.e., turkeys), and then ritually slaughter said animals for one day of gluttonous feeding (note: I actually like the eating part of these holidays, and don't fault people for loving turkey and stuffing and pumpkin pie and stuff).
4.MASSIVE CONSUMERISM AS ANGRY HOUSEWIVES RAID THE SUPERMARKETS. Gluttony is not love. That's Hallmark, McDonalds, and the Wall Street assholes telling you that spending $300 to not fit in your pants (and then spend $50 bucks a month after New Year's to lose the holiday weight) is love.
That's all, I think. And all this being said, I hope that all of you (even those of you not in the States who aren't celebrating today) have a wonderful day, full of people you love and care about, and have enough food to eat and something warm to wear if it's cold. And if you want to make me really, really happy -- donate your extra cans to a soup kitchen, or spend a couple hours today passing out blankets at a homeless shelter. Or instead of gathering up your credit cards to raid Black Friday like a viking domestique, go for a walk and get your presents at a thrift store because really, a used GI Joe works just as well as a brand new one, and doesn't have all that nonrecyclable plastic.
But you guys know that already, because you're all awesome. :)
Remember, these guys were so uptight and prejudiced even the Anglicans didn't want 'em.
And they killed these nice, peaceful guys and took their land.
But hey -- we got this!
Happy Thanksgiving!
1.The Europeans who landed in North America and colonized this country ended up giving the natives syphilis and smallpox and taking all their land to eventually become Paneras and Neiman Marcuses (Marci?). And what do they get in return? A few casinos on worthless sandy reservation land. And Pocahontas.
2.The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade is, by my estimate, 40% Christmas stuff. I celebrate Christmas, so I'm not coming from a disenfranchised group when I say HEY, WHERE'S THE CHANUKAH STUFF? What about Ramadan? Kwanzaa even? Given that probably 80% of the financiers of that damn waste of balloon material and Miley Cyrus booking fees are Jewish -- and hey! we have an African American president finally!! -- we'd have some more variety. Or, you know, just stick with Thanksgiving stuff. 'Cause they call it a Thanksgiving parade.
3.It seems kind of sick and a bit Old Testament to rear a bunch of one type of animal (i.e., turkeys), and then ritually slaughter said animals for one day of gluttonous feeding (note: I actually like the eating part of these holidays, and don't fault people for loving turkey and stuffing and pumpkin pie and stuff).
4.MASSIVE CONSUMERISM AS ANGRY HOUSEWIVES RAID THE SUPERMARKETS. Gluttony is not love. That's Hallmark, McDonalds, and the Wall Street assholes telling you that spending $300 to not fit in your pants (and then spend $50 bucks a month after New Year's to lose the holiday weight) is love.
That's all, I think. And all this being said, I hope that all of you (even those of you not in the States who aren't celebrating today) have a wonderful day, full of people you love and care about, and have enough food to eat and something warm to wear if it's cold. And if you want to make me really, really happy -- donate your extra cans to a soup kitchen, or spend a couple hours today passing out blankets at a homeless shelter. Or instead of gathering up your credit cards to raid Black Friday like a viking domestique, go for a walk and get your presents at a thrift store because really, a used GI Joe works just as well as a brand new one, and doesn't have all that nonrecyclable plastic.
But you guys know that already, because you're all awesome. :)
Remember, these guys were so uptight and prejudiced even the Anglicans didn't want 'em.
And they killed these nice, peaceful guys and took their land.
But hey -- we got this!
Happy Thanksgiving!