(no subject)

[jenabenna]

Ive gotten to the point where i cant do anything. I am so extremely productive at work, yet when i come home i do nothing. I cant take it anymore. something is wrong and i dont know what it is. Its been two years since i was on the medicine. I dont want Nolan to have to have this drugged up wife that cant handle anything. It wouldnt be so bad if nolan could do more, but he cant. He really does do more than he should already. I cant make him do everything. I feel so irresponsible and lazy and lost. I see all of my single friends and I know I dont want that. I know who I am, so why am I so useless with out nolan. and its not like i just do it when nolan is gone, i just think it is worse.

I took a three month break from work and even then it was hard for me to get things done. Something is wrong. I cant be like this next year. I have to do well.