(no subject)
so i sit here next to a sleeping nolan and wonder how long we will last
i was driving over to pick up crystal's key and the snow was blowing accross the road and i knew the only person that would understand the beauty of it as much as me was Phillip. so i sent him a text message and we talked a little then i started to cry. i realized how nolan never seems to have an emotions. and when he does he is just sort of getting mad and telling me to stop. but even then he doesnt stay mad.
i think also i am just so scared to mess things up i dont know what to do. i am so scared of him being mad because i dont know how he is when he is mad. i know i can piss phillip off then he is over it the next day and we talk about it. but i dont know how nolan is yet. which duh. makes sense because i dont know him all that well yet. but tonight all i really wanted to do was play in the snow. it is so pretty. and nolan wouldnt get up and go with me. which is understandable but it makes me sad because i know phillip would have gone and we could have sat there and talked about the beauty of things. and dreamed of greater places. but nolan is just sleeping.
his roommates finally gave in and went out there. we had so much fun. i took some pretty awesome pictures too. i guess i just need nolan to feel. to touch and understand beauty.
but give it time and i am sure he will
i was driving over to pick up crystal's key and the snow was blowing accross the road and i knew the only person that would understand the beauty of it as much as me was Phillip. so i sent him a text message and we talked a little then i started to cry. i realized how nolan never seems to have an emotions. and when he does he is just sort of getting mad and telling me to stop. but even then he doesnt stay mad.
i think also i am just so scared to mess things up i dont know what to do. i am so scared of him being mad because i dont know how he is when he is mad. i know i can piss phillip off then he is over it the next day and we talk about it. but i dont know how nolan is yet. which duh. makes sense because i dont know him all that well yet. but tonight all i really wanted to do was play in the snow. it is so pretty. and nolan wouldnt get up and go with me. which is understandable but it makes me sad because i know phillip would have gone and we could have sat there and talked about the beauty of things. and dreamed of greater places. but nolan is just sleeping.
his roommates finally gave in and went out there. we had so much fun. i took some pretty awesome pictures too. i guess i just need nolan to feel. to touch and understand beauty.
but give it time and i am sure he will