(no subject)
In the past week I have made friendships with people that are truly amazing. They are so focused on their careers and on their responsabilities, all the while maintaining a healthy balance between that mature part and the silly part. I was forced to grow up too soon, and I'm afraid I didn't have time to exploit and develop my silly part. I'm afraid I may be too mature at times. Too distant. Too dry. But I'm at an age where my feelings are running on high, and there's nothing I can do about it. I control my moods, I'm proud of myself for this, but there are somethings I simply cannot ignore.
I have come to the scary realization that my feelings for a certain someone are growing rapidly and overwhelmingly. I do not want to find myself enamored and infatuated at this point in my life, especially with a person that would never see me as anything more than a friend. I have tried to overcome this, I have tried to subdue it, but it is not working. You can't just command your heart, you can't tell it what to feel, you can't tell it what not to feel. Sometimes I wonder where all these feelings come from.
I mean, humans have a brain, and supposedly this is what controls everything else. So if I will myself to fall out of lust, it should work right? Wrong. There's something else. That something else that makes you feel a slight pressure on your chest, that makes you feel butterflies in your stomach, and makes you woozy and dizzy. I wish I could have that 'something else' surgically removed.
Edit: I am SO sick and tired of some immature dicks trying to get attention. Every time it fades he does something to get more of it. Jesus H. Christ, grow up. And yes, I am talking behind your back because I will not give you the pleasure of receiving comments. Which is what you so longingly crave for.
I have come to the scary realization that my feelings for a certain someone are growing rapidly and overwhelmingly. I do not want to find myself enamored and infatuated at this point in my life, especially with a person that would never see me as anything more than a friend. I have tried to overcome this, I have tried to subdue it, but it is not working. You can't just command your heart, you can't tell it what to feel, you can't tell it what not to feel. Sometimes I wonder where all these feelings come from.
I mean, humans have a brain, and supposedly this is what controls everything else. So if I will myself to fall out of lust, it should work right? Wrong. There's something else. That something else that makes you feel a slight pressure on your chest, that makes you feel butterflies in your stomach, and makes you woozy and dizzy. I wish I could have that 'something else' surgically removed.
Edit: I am SO sick and tired of some immature dicks trying to get attention. Every time it fades he does something to get more of it. Jesus H. Christ, grow up. And yes, I am talking behind your back because I will not give you the pleasure of receiving comments. Which is what you so longingly crave for.