wtf was i thinking in returning here?!?!
So very stressed and depressed. Today I am just a complete mess and am fighting the thoughts of dropping out again and perhaps finally taking care of soemthing I have contemplated for many years. Living sitution not so good. Feeling rather much like tonight I am living in a warzone the way my aunt and uncle are going at it. Fighting back tears. No where I can go. So I have slipped both with the ed and th self harm stuff. I am in total destruct mode and just do not know how I am going to pull back up. While I should be working on a lab report or another assignment I am instead hiding downstairs wishing they came with mute buttons and images of not so good things floating through my head. I do look forward to the week they go down to vegas. Perhaps em and the pup will be better able to function. I know it is stressing her too. But for know I just do not know how the heck I am going to make it until the 14th when they leave. I know that I have the thanksgiving holiday this coming weekend but to make it until then is going to be very very very challenging. I do just hope to make it out in one piece. But for now....ugh. I wish I could fall into a good long never ending sleep. So bloodly well tempted into not so good of coping strategies tonight.
just want to tear a fucking piece off myself in means of escape. Perhaps I should bang my head on the mantle of the fireplace til I am good and unconscious.
just want to tear a fucking piece off myself in means of escape. Perhaps I should bang my head on the mantle of the fireplace til I am good and unconscious.