Fic: Hold on to me (While the ground shakes), [11/15]
Title: ‘Hold on to me (While the ground shakes)’ (11/15)
Author: JM
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past other/Jensen, Michael/Tom, Jeff/Samantha, mentions of Erica/Allison, Denny/Izzie, George/Meredith, Derek/Meredith.
Rating: NC-17 overall
Characters: They’re quite a lot, so I’ll put them behind a cut for the sake of your f-lists.
Main: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Eric Kripke, Tom Welling, Michael Rosenbaum, Michael Weatherly, Nathan Petrelli (Heroes), Josh Holloway, Chris Kane.
Secondary: Chase McDonald (LA Heat) Allison Mack, Erica Durance, Samantha Smith, Don Eppes (Numb3rs), Megan Reeves (Numb3rs), Colby Granger (Numb3rs).
Guest stars: Alona Tal, August Brooks (LA Heat), Annette O’Toole, Chad Michael Murray, Charlie Eppes (Numb3rs), David Sinclair (Numb3rs), Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy), George O'Malley (Grey’s Anatomy), Addison Montgomery-Shepard (Grey’s Anatomy), Derek Shepard (Grey’s Anatomy), Denny Duquette (Grey’s Anatomy), Izzie Stevens (Grey’s Anatomy), Christina Yang (Grey’s Anatomy), Alex Karev (Grey’s Anatomy)
Mentions of: Josh Charles, Dan Rydell (Sports Night), Sandy McCoy, Steve Carlson, Kate Austen (Lost)
Category: Slash
Word count: 60,000 total
Warnings: AU, angst, slash, language (sometimes), amnesiac!Jensen, mention of non-con, murder and violence.
Disclaimer: Again, for the sake of your f-lists, here's the lj-cut.
Jared and Jensen aren’t mine ç_ç they belong to each other themselves. So does every other real person and/or every fictional character I mentioned here. Well, except Josh Charles, who belongs to my dear Fae and if you say otherwise she’s gonna cut your hands and feed them to her goldfish. (Yeah, I’m obviously kidding, we own nothing. ;_____;)
Numb3rs belongs to Cheryl Heuton and Nicholas Falacci, Grey’s Anatomy belongs to Shonda Rhimes, Heroes belongs to Tim Kring, LA Heat belongs to whoever its creator is, Sports Night belongs to Aaron Sorkin and Lost belongs to JJ Abrams.I really don’t mean to offend anyone and nothing of what I wrote in this story is to be considered real, it’s all fiction.
Author’s Notes: Okay, so…first thing. You don't need to know the shows I put in this story, so don't worry about that. I know it sounds crazy to mix up real people and fictional characters. But trust me, I had a hell of a lot of fun writing this, and if you give it a chance, maybe you’ll enjoy reading it! ^_-
As ever, feel free to report any mistake. Constructive criticism is welcome, feedback makes me happy!
A special thanks to
nejem for her precious support!!
Beta: My beloved and wonderful and irreplaceable and amazing
faechan .
Summary: “After a car accident Jensen wakes up with a gap of four years in his memory, and the way everyone around him acts makes him understand something horrible happened in that period. While Jensen tries to get his life back together, Jared leaves his family home in San Antonio, trying to find his own way, and he ends up working in a place he’d never imagined.
But things are not as simple as they appear and they’ll find out their lives are linked, in more ways than they think.” - First story in the Threads!Verse
Crossposted
[ Chapter 1 - ‘Awakenings and new towns’ ]
[ Chapter 2 - ‘New starts and old fairytales’ ]
[ Chapter 3 - 'Therapy sessions and a goodbye party' ]
[ Chapter 4 - 'Teardrops and new friendships' ]
[ Chapter 5 - 'Bad ideas and unexpected offers' ]
[ Chapter 6 - 'Sketchbooks and domestic bliss' ]
[ Chapter 7 - 'Breakfasts and car crashes' ]
[ Chapter 8 - 'Small steps and birthday presents' ]
[ Chapter 9 - 'Dances and old scars' ]
[ Chapter 10 - 'Threats and old affairs' ]
Chapter 11 - ‘FBI agents and shower declarations’
Jensen and Chase were sitting in the living room as an agent from the CSU examined the kitchen. Chase was collecting Jensen’s statement while Jeff and Jared were talking with Tom, explaining him the situation. The boy had come there when Jensen hadn’t called him back, worried something might have happened.
“So, Jared’s your boyfriend.” Chase said, frowning. He threw a glance at Jared and didn’t look too convinced. “When I saw him the other night I thought he was Chris.”
“Chris left for Seattle two months ago.” Jensen’s tone was flat, he wasn’t exactly in the best mood to reply to that kind of questions, he just wanted to finish the statement and go talk to Jared.
“He left you here alone?”
“I’m not alone.” Jensen turned to look at him and this time his tone was almost irritated, and Chase’s frown deepened.
“How well do you know him?” McDonald asked with a serious expression.
“Well enough.” Jensen’s voice didn’t leave space for argument and suddenly he felt some inexplicable rage towards the man. “He’s okay, leave him out, it’s Weatherly.”
“I’ll need to ask him a few questions.”
Jensen nodded and sighed, looking away as Chase stood and walked towards Jared. He couldn’t get his mind off those photos and that word, quickly written on a note. God, Jared could have been at home, he could…he could have died. All because of him, again because of him.
Jensen closed his eyes as Jeff and Tom reached him and sat down, not saying a word.
~
“What did you touch in here recently?” Chase asked, looking at Jared with an unreadable expression. “We need to isolate your fingerprints.” He explained at Jared’s frown.
“A lot of things.” Jared shrugged, and it was Chase’s turn to frown. “I live here.”
“Oh.” The detective looked sincerely surprised and his expression confirmed Jared’s thought. “ Sorry, Jensen didn’t mention that.”
“Probably he figured you’d know, since you saw me here the other night.” Jared replied, a little smile on his lips.
“I should have known, I guess.” Chase admitted, mirroring the smile. “You saw anything unusual, anyone who might look suspicious wandering around?”
“No, I…I got home after the shift and I went out almost immediately.” Jared bit on his lip, trying to remember. “But something, maybe…I met a man on the staircase on my way out.” He hesitated, looking at the door. “He had a baseball cap and sunglasses and I really didn’t look at his face, but he was holding a bunch of flowers.”
“Anything else you noticed about him?”
Jared thought for a few seconds, then suddenly he looked at Chase. “He had a tattoo on his left forearm, a couple of inches from the wrist.” He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the memory. “I remember I looked at it.”
“Can you describe it?”
“No, I can do better.” Jared muttered, taking the sketch book from his bag. “Give me a few minutes.”
“Okay, I’ll go ask if someone in the building received flowers and if they remember him, it might not be our man.”
Jared simply nodded, starting to draw on the blank paper as Jensen stood and reached him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jared didn’t look up as he quickly worked the pencil on the paper. He’d always had a good memory for faces and pictures, and for some reason he couldn’t take Weatherly’s face out of his mind. He told himself it was just because of all that mess and he focused on the tattoo. He didn’t see Jensen’s worried frown, and he almost jumped when he felt a hand on his back.
Jensen knew how detached Jared tended to be when he drew, but this time there was something more.
For a few seconds the didn’t say anything, than Jared stopped, looking down at his work. He ripped the page from the sketch book and held it in his hand.
“What’s this?” Jensen asked, looking at the drawing.
“I saw a guy with this tattoo when I was going out.” Jared explained, his eyes fixed on the picture. “McDonald is checking if someone remembers him.”
“I’m sorry.” Jensen whispered, his hand never leaving Jared’s back.
Jared turned to look at him, dropping the sketch on the table next to him and bringing his hand to Jensen’s cheek. “Don’t say that. It’s not your fault.”
“We both know it is. You wouldn’t be the target of a psychotic son of a bitch if I stayed out of your life.”
“Hey.” Jared cupped both Jensen’s cheek with his hands and looked at him in the eye. “We’re gonna get through this, the police’s gonna get that bastard and put him in jail for life. No matter how long it’s gonna take, we can make it.” He saw Jensen try to say something, but stopped him with a thumb on his lips. “But please, don’t blame yourself. I’m here, with you, because I want to, and God knows how much I want to be with you.”
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
Jared showed a sweet smile and rested his forehead against Jensen’s. “Jeff might pass out from the view.”
Jensen let out a soft laugher and half closed his eyes, feeling the warm touch of Jared’s hands on his cheeks. “He won’t mind.”
Jared smile widened and he closed the distance between them, starting a slow kiss and feeling Jensen relax a bit. He could only imagine how Jensen had felt when he’d found the photos. They broke the kiss when they heard the door open and close again.
“No one received flowers and no one remembers our man.” Chase informed, arching an eyebrow when he saw Jared move his hands away from Jensen’s cheeks. They boy stood and gave him a sheet of paper, the drawing. It was a skull holding a rose with his teeth.
“I’ll see what I can get.” Chase looked as the CSU agent reached them.
“There’s only two sets of prints, probably who did this was wearing gloves. No sign the door was forced.”
McDonald nodded, disappointed. “Okay, I’ll put two agents outside the building to be safe. If you need help, call them.”
“Thanks.” Jensen replied, a little smile on his lips.
Chase nodded and walked towards the door, quickly followed by the CSU agent.
~
Jeff and Tom had left a few minutes later, after making Jensen and Jared promise for about three hundred times that they were going to call if something happened.
Then Jensen had sat on the couch, the tv turned on without the sound.
“Here, chocolate ice cream fixes everything.” Jared announced, sitting down next to him with the pack and two spoons. He opened it and his smile turned into a pout. “Damn, they didn’t let me put it in the fridge, it melted.”
Jensen took one of the spoons and smiled. “I bet it’s still good.”
The both took a spoonful of the melted ice cream and looked at each other. For a few seconds there was silence, both spoons still in their mouths, then they burst into laugh.
“Awful.” Jared muttered, putting the pack on the coffee table with his spoon.
“Definitely.” Jensen did the same, an amused smile on his face.
“I’ll see if there’s something better in the fridge.”
Jensen stopped him before he could get up and Jared looked at him with a frown. “It’s almost time for dinner, what about we stay here and let this horrible afternoon end?”
Jared smiled at that and his hand reached Jensen, pulling him closer. “Any idea?”
Jensen mirrored the smile and straddled him. “A couple.”
~~
When Jensen woke up the following morning he found the bed empty, and a nice smell coming from the kitchen. He yawned as he stood, stretching his arms out and heading for the bathroom.
He came out a few minutes after, and heard the noise of dishes and glasses. He reached the kitchen with an amused frown and saw Jared setting a small tray with pancakes and coffee, his cheeks and forehead stained with flour. Half the kitchen covered in flour.
“You’re awake!” Jared’s tone was disappointed and Jensen smiled, reaching him. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“Breakfast in bed?” Jensen raised his hand to wipe the flour stains on Jared’s face and his smile widened.
“Exactly, so get your extremely attractive ass back in bed and pretend to be asleep.” Jared pouted, causing Jensen to burst into laugh. “I’m serious!”
“Okay, okay, I’m goin’!” Jensen kept laughing as he walked to the bedroom, climbing back in bed.
A couple of minutes later Jared arrived with the tray and Jensen tried to repress the giggles as his boyfriend almost dropped the whole thing. “Honey, wake up!”
Jensen laughed even harder and raised to a sitting position, watching as Jared sat down next to him and put the tray on the bed.
“You just called me honey?” Jensen asked as soon as he managed to stop laughing.
Jared grinned and planted a chaste kiss on the boy’s temple. “Yes, sweetheart.”
“Jare, what’s gotten into you?” Jensen’s amused smile widened even more as Jared handed him the cup of coffee.
“I just wanted to…you know, do something special.” Jared’s grin turned into a sweet smile as he laid a kiss on Jensen lips.
“And what’s with the pet names?”
Jared simply shrugged and Jensen shook his head, starting to eat his breakfast. “Want me to feed you?”
At those words Jensen burst into laugh again and almost chocked on the mouthful of pancakes. Jared patted him on the back, grinning.
~
A few minutes later the pancakes and the coffee were gone, Jensen was sitting with his back against Jared, talking about their plans for the day. When the doorbell rang Jared stood and Jensen gestured him to leave the tray to him and stood as well.
“Michael?” Jared asked, opening the door with a frown. “What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to leave for Canada today.”
Jensen came out of the bedroom holding the tray with what was left of their breakfast and put it on the coffee table, reaching the door.
“No way I was going anywhere without talking to you two.” Michael said, a little smile on his lips. “How are you doin’?”
“We’re fine.” Jensen assured, nodding slowly. “Jared took a few days off and we have two agents right downstairs.”
“Maybe I could lend you a couple of my guys.”
“You mean your security Sasquatches?”
Michael raised an eyebrow and grinned. “They’re good at their job.”
“I bet they are.” Jensen showed a little smile and Michael got the message, sighing.
“Okay, then there’s another way I can help you.”
“You’re gonna kidnap us and bring us on your secret island in the middle of the ocean?” Jared asked with a skeptical tone, gaining a grin from Jensen and a glare from Rosenbaum.
“I do not own an island.” Michael sat down on the couch before going on. “But a few months ago I made a donation to the CalSci, and they invited me for some kind of lecture to show me how my money was gonna be used.”
“CalSci?” Jared asked, frowning.
“California Institute of Science.” Michael explained with a faint smile. “By the way, after this lecture I met a couple of my old teachers, and I’m still in contact with them. Like, you know, I go see what they’re up to, from time to time. It can be funny.”
“You actually spend part of your days at the CalSci?” Jensen asked with an extremely amused expression.
“Hey, I’m rich, not stupid. And don’t forget I graduated from that school.” Rosenbaum glared at him and shook his head as Jensen chuckled. “So, there’s this guy, I took a couple of his courses when I was in last year, now he teaches applied mathematics, and I think he could help you.”
“Wait, you think an applied mathematics teacher from CalSci could help us?” Jensen frowned deeply, not sure of his own words.
“His brother is an FBI agent, I could ask him to look into this.”
“Your idea of help is the FBI?” Jared asked, confused.
“I don’t like it either, but the Bureau has much better resources than the LAPD.” Michael’s tone was serious, and he fixed his gaze in Jensen’s. “Think about it.”
Jensen looked at Jared and bit on his lip. There was only one thing he wanted in that moment, and he was going to do whatever it took.
“Okay.” Jensen looked back at Michael and nodded. “I just want all this to be over.”
That man wanted to kill him, wanted to kill Jared, and he was willing to go through Hell to end that story, if necessary.
~~
The teacher Michael had told them about turned out to be Professor Charles Eppes. Charlie, as he’d asked them to call him. They’d talked to him at the CalSci and Charlie had accepted to ask his brother to look into the case.
And that was how Jensen and Jared had ended up at the FBI office, following Chase and Charlie and heading for Special Agent Don Eppes’ desk.
“You sure about this?” Jared asked as they walked out of the elevator.
“I dunno.” Jensen admitted, looking around. “But maybe it’s the only way to catch that bastard.”
Jared showed a little smile and his fingers brushed briefly Jensen’s, letting him know he was there with him. Jensen smiled and nodded, slightly reassured.
They stopped and Jensen saw two agents talk, a man wearing a black shirt with rolled sleeves and a woman in her thirties, wearing a pair of black jeans and a white shirt. Other two agents joined them and Charlie called his brother.
“Hey, Charlie!” The man with the rolled sleeves turned out to be Don Eppes and Jensen decided that yeah, he was much better than he’d imagined. Not that he’d actually expected Fox Mulder or something, but still.
“Hey Don, you busy?”
“No, just a minute. Wait there.” Don turned again towards the three agents and gave them some orders, then looked as they walked away. “I just closed a triple murder case, so I hope this is really as big as you said.”
“It is, agent Eppes.” Chase replied, holding out his hand to Don. “I’m detective Chase McDonald, LAPD. Is there somewhere quiet where we can talk?”
Don thought for a couple of seconds, then nodded walking to one of the rooms. “She’s agent Megan Reeves, she’s with my team.” He informed, pointing at the woman who was taking the last case pictures off a panel. “So, I wanna know how big this is before it turns official. And who is involved.”
“Jensen, maybe it’s better if I…” Chase tried to say, but Jensen shook his head.
“I had a car accident in Seattle about three months ago.” Jensen voice was low but steady, and he was looking directly at Don. “And there’s evidence that it wasn’t an accident. Someone is trying to kill me.” Don frowned at those words and Jared looked at agent Reeves, who had stopped her task and was listening as well. “They broke into my house and they threatened Jared.”
Don’s eyes moved for a couple of seconds to Jared and the boy felt uncomfortable under that gaze. It was like that man was trying to valuate if he could be just a victim or something more.
“You know who would want to kill you?”
“That’s why we’re here.” Jensen looked at his hands for a few seconds, then raised his eyes again. “Michael Weatherly.”
“What makes you say that?”
Jensen hesitated, throwing a glance towards Chase to see if it was okay. Chase nodded and Jensen sighed, looking back at Don. “I’ve worked for him for a few months when I came here in LA four years ago.” Jensen swallowed, trying to ease the knot in his throat. He felt Jared’s leg brush against his and felt reassured. He was doing it for a good reason, no matter he had to tell these people where he’d worked. “I knew about his traffic of counterfeit money and I passed information to detective McDonald.”
“Why didn’t you call the FBI?” Don asked with a frown.
“We did.” Chase replied with an unreadable expression. “But he got away because we didn’t have enough evidence and we moved too quickly. He flew to Mexico right after the investigation, and we didn’t know he was back.”
Don nodded slowly, thinking. “Megan, can you find me this guy’s file?”
“Sure.” The woman walked out quickly, heading for her desk, while the other two agents entered the room.
“These are the other agents of my team, Colby Granger and David Sinclair.” Don introduced them, then turned again towards Jensen. “What else can you tell me?”
“I might have seen the guy who broke into the house.” Jared said, talking for the fist time since they’d met the agent. “I was going out and I saw a guy coming up the stairs. I didn’t see his face ‘cause he had cap and glasses, but he was holding a bunch of flowers, and he had a tattoo.”
“No one received flowers, and no one remembers him.” Chase informed, taking the drawing of the tattoo from his pocket. “Jared made this, it’s the tattoo.”
Don looked at it as Colby and David approached too.
“You sure this is the tattoo?” Colby’s expression darkened immediately and he looked up at Jared.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Jared confirmed, worried by the man’s reaction.
“Looks familiar?” Don asked to his colleague.
“It’s bad news.” Colby looked again at the drawing, shaking his head.
“How bad?” Jensen asked, looking directly at him.
“Homeland Security bad.” Colby looked at him in the eye, sighing. “This guy was involved with bioterrorism.”
“Wait, a terrorist is trying to kill me?” Jensen asked with incredulous tone.
“No, he’s a merc.” Colby looked at Jared then at Jensen again. “A damn good one. He worked for a bioterrorist group and a few big names in the organized crime. He’s been quiet lately, they think he’s taking small gigs.”
“And now he works for Weatherly.” Chase finished for him, shaking his head.
“Listen, there’s not much you can do for now. Just go home and we’ll look into it.” Don sounded worried, and Jensen wished he had something more concrete than threatens. He wished he remembered more. “I’ll call you as soon as we get something.”
Jensen nodded slowly and stood, holding out his hand to the man. “Thanks agent Eppes.”
~~
“Maybe you should tell your mom.” Jared said, his hand moving soothingly on Jensen’s chest as they lied on the bed next to each other. It was the end of July and the temperature was almost unbearable, so they’d ended up dozing on the bed instead of cleaning or doing anything else. The FBI hadn’t called yet, but it had been less than 12 hours, so they weren’t surprised.
“No, she’d freak out.” Jensen’s hand reached Jared and he tangled their fingers. “And she’d tell me to go back home.”
“Maybe it’d be safer, you know, at least for a while.” He knew Jensen called his mother every couple of days, but he also knew it was hard for him to lie to her about the whole thing.
“I don’t wanna go back there.” Jensen closed his eyes and Jared looked at him, then placed a kiss on his bare shoulder. “Not yet, at least.”
“Okay.” Jared whispered, his lips barely touching Jensen’s skin, and the boy smiled.
“You know what would be good right now?” Jensen opened his eyes and looked at Jared with a little smile. “A shower.”
Jared’s eyebrow arched and he mirrored the smile, not entirely sure of his own words. “Together?”
Jensen brought their hands to his mouth and placed a kiss on Jared’s knuckles. “We have to save water.”
Without saying anything else he stood and walked towards the bathroom, throwing a last glance to Jared.
The younger boy didn’t get up immediately, and watched as his boyfriend exited the room. He didn’t want to rush Jensen, and he was still worried about that part of their relationship, but the road had been good so far. Jensen seemed to be pretty comfortable with their making out and handjobs, and Jared wondered if the boy was trying to tell him he was ready for next step.
Trying not to overanalyze the situation, Jared got up and followed Jensen in the bathroom, finding him wearing only his boxers.
The moment he stepped in the room Jared felt something wasn’t right. “Jen, you okay?”
“There are more.” Jensen whispered, not looking at Jared. “Scars. There are more than the ones you saw.”
Jared’s hand immediately found its way to Jensen’s back, and he stroked the scars gently. “It’s okay.” He circled Jensen’s waist with his arms and kissed the boy’s jaw. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”
At those words Jensen seemed to come out of his haze and turned slowly, breaking the embrace and showing a little smile. “I want this. I just wanted you to know before you see them.”
Jared nodded slowly, realizing that yeah, despite Jensen felt much more comfortable taking his shirt off while Jared was around, he’d never really seen Jensen naked, he didn’t know every secret his body hid, every scar. But he wanted to.
Jensen opened the water and took off his boxers, quickly followed by Jared. They stepped in the spray and felt a wave of relief as the water washed away sweat and tiredness.
“I needed this.” Jared said, keeping his eyes closed as the water splashed in his face.
“This shower’s definitely too tiny for you.” Jared opened his eyes and saw the amused grin on Jensen’s face. He couldn’t help but grinned back, as his eyes wandered on the body in front of him, drinking the sight with a mix of awe and shyness.
Then he saw them. On his hipbone. Cigarette burn scars.
Jensen noticed where Jared’s gaze had stopped and his smile vanished, as he looked away. Jared didn’t react immediately, he was trying desperately to repress the wave of rage that was rising in his chest as his eyes didn’t manage to look away. When Jensen moved and tried to leave, Jared looked up, guilt and sorry showing on his face.
“I’m sorry Jen.” He whispered, his hands moving up to cup Jensen’s face. “I just…I wish I could do something.”
“You are doing something, Jared.” Jensen looked at him in the eye and tried to smile. “All I need is that you…”
“I won’t leave you.” Jared assured, not letting him the time to finish. “I don’t care how many scars you have, Jen, or how badly that fucker messed you up, I’m not gonna leave you.” Jensen found himself with his back against the wall as Jared’s lips placed a kiss on Jensen’s chin. “I love you.” It was a whisper on his skin, but Jensen heard it clear as a bell.
“What?” Jensen’s voice was unsure, and Jared didn’t move. “Jare…”
“I love you.” Jared repeated, this time looking at Jensen in the eye. “And I wish I wasn't naked right now, 'cause I feel kinda silly tellin' you this without any clothes on, but hell, I love you.”
Jensen didn’t say anything for several seconds, just keeping his gaze fixed in Jared’s as the water slowly ran completely cold. Yet all Jensen felt was warmth and shock and happiness and his eyes were starting to burn a little. Without a word he leaned in and kissed Jared like his life depended on it, and maybe it did.
One of Jared’s hands closed the water without breaking the kiss, and the other went down to stroke Jensen’s back, keeping him close.
“I love you too.” Jensen whispered on his lips when they broke the kiss, gaining the most blinding smile he’d ever seen on Jared’s face.
~~
A/N: Before you go, there’s a little surprise for you. It’s a little flashfic about a few (happy) moments in Nathan and Jensen’s relationship.
Everything we had (Is no longer there)
What else? Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoyed this update.
See you soon,JM
Author: JM
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past other/Jensen, Michael/Tom, Jeff/Samantha, mentions of Erica/Allison, Denny/Izzie, George/Meredith, Derek/Meredith.
Rating: NC-17 overall
Characters: They’re quite a lot, so I’ll put them behind a cut for the sake of your f-lists.
Main: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Eric Kripke, Tom Welling, Michael Rosenbaum, Michael Weatherly, Nathan Petrelli (Heroes), Josh Holloway, Chris Kane.
Secondary: Chase McDonald (LA Heat) Allison Mack, Erica Durance, Samantha Smith, Don Eppes (Numb3rs), Megan Reeves (Numb3rs), Colby Granger (Numb3rs).
Guest stars: Alona Tal, August Brooks (LA Heat), Annette O’Toole, Chad Michael Murray, Charlie Eppes (Numb3rs), David Sinclair (Numb3rs), Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy), George O'Malley (Grey’s Anatomy), Addison Montgomery-Shepard (Grey’s Anatomy), Derek Shepard (Grey’s Anatomy), Denny Duquette (Grey’s Anatomy), Izzie Stevens (Grey’s Anatomy), Christina Yang (Grey’s Anatomy), Alex Karev (Grey’s Anatomy)
Mentions of: Josh Charles, Dan Rydell (Sports Night), Sandy McCoy, Steve Carlson, Kate Austen (Lost)
Category: Slash
Word count: 60,000 total
Warnings: AU, angst, slash, language (sometimes), amnesiac!Jensen, mention of non-con, murder and violence.
Disclaimer: Again, for the sake of your f-lists, here's the lj-cut.
Jared and Jensen aren’t mine ç_ç they belong to each other themselves. So does every other real person and/or every fictional character I mentioned here. Well, except Josh Charles, who belongs to my dear Fae and if you say otherwise she’s gonna cut your hands and feed them to her goldfish. (Yeah, I’m obviously kidding, we own nothing. ;_____;)
Numb3rs belongs to Cheryl Heuton and Nicholas Falacci, Grey’s Anatomy belongs to Shonda Rhimes, Heroes belongs to Tim Kring, LA Heat belongs to whoever its creator is, Sports Night belongs to Aaron Sorkin and Lost belongs to JJ Abrams.I really don’t mean to offend anyone and nothing of what I wrote in this story is to be considered real, it’s all fiction.
Author’s Notes: Okay, so…first thing. You don't need to know the shows I put in this story, so don't worry about that. I know it sounds crazy to mix up real people and fictional characters. But trust me, I had a hell of a lot of fun writing this, and if you give it a chance, maybe you’ll enjoy reading it! ^_-
As ever, feel free to report any mistake. Constructive criticism is welcome, feedback makes me happy!
A special thanks to
nejem for her precious support!!
Beta: My beloved and wonderful and irreplaceable and amazing
faechan .
Summary: “After a car accident Jensen wakes up with a gap of four years in his memory, and the way everyone around him acts makes him understand something horrible happened in that period. While Jensen tries to get his life back together, Jared leaves his family home in San Antonio, trying to find his own way, and he ends up working in a place he’d never imagined.
But things are not as simple as they appear and they’ll find out their lives are linked, in more ways than they think.” - First story in the Threads!Verse
Crossposted
[ Chapter 1 - ‘Awakenings and new towns’ ]
[ Chapter 2 - ‘New starts and old fairytales’ ]
[ Chapter 3 - 'Therapy sessions and a goodbye party' ]
[ Chapter 4 - 'Teardrops and new friendships' ]
[ Chapter 5 - 'Bad ideas and unexpected offers' ]
[ Chapter 6 - 'Sketchbooks and domestic bliss' ]
[ Chapter 7 - 'Breakfasts and car crashes' ]
[ Chapter 8 - 'Small steps and birthday presents' ]
[ Chapter 9 - 'Dances and old scars' ]
[ Chapter 10 - 'Threats and old affairs' ]
Chapter 11 - ‘FBI agents and shower declarations’
Jensen and Chase were sitting in the living room as an agent from the CSU examined the kitchen. Chase was collecting Jensen’s statement while Jeff and Jared were talking with Tom, explaining him the situation. The boy had come there when Jensen hadn’t called him back, worried something might have happened.
“So, Jared’s your boyfriend.” Chase said, frowning. He threw a glance at Jared and didn’t look too convinced. “When I saw him the other night I thought he was Chris.”
“Chris left for Seattle two months ago.” Jensen’s tone was flat, he wasn’t exactly in the best mood to reply to that kind of questions, he just wanted to finish the statement and go talk to Jared.
“He left you here alone?”
“I’m not alone.” Jensen turned to look at him and this time his tone was almost irritated, and Chase’s frown deepened.
“How well do you know him?” McDonald asked with a serious expression.
“Well enough.” Jensen’s voice didn’t leave space for argument and suddenly he felt some inexplicable rage towards the man. “He’s okay, leave him out, it’s Weatherly.”
“I’ll need to ask him a few questions.”
Jensen nodded and sighed, looking away as Chase stood and walked towards Jared. He couldn’t get his mind off those photos and that word, quickly written on a note. God, Jared could have been at home, he could…he could have died. All because of him, again because of him.
Jensen closed his eyes as Jeff and Tom reached him and sat down, not saying a word.
~
“What did you touch in here recently?” Chase asked, looking at Jared with an unreadable expression. “We need to isolate your fingerprints.” He explained at Jared’s frown.
“A lot of things.” Jared shrugged, and it was Chase’s turn to frown. “I live here.”
“Oh.” The detective looked sincerely surprised and his expression confirmed Jared’s thought. “ Sorry, Jensen didn’t mention that.”
“Probably he figured you’d know, since you saw me here the other night.” Jared replied, a little smile on his lips.
“I should have known, I guess.” Chase admitted, mirroring the smile. “You saw anything unusual, anyone who might look suspicious wandering around?”
“No, I…I got home after the shift and I went out almost immediately.” Jared bit on his lip, trying to remember. “But something, maybe…I met a man on the staircase on my way out.” He hesitated, looking at the door. “He had a baseball cap and sunglasses and I really didn’t look at his face, but he was holding a bunch of flowers.”
“Anything else you noticed about him?”
Jared thought for a few seconds, then suddenly he looked at Chase. “He had a tattoo on his left forearm, a couple of inches from the wrist.” He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the memory. “I remember I looked at it.”
“Can you describe it?”
“No, I can do better.” Jared muttered, taking the sketch book from his bag. “Give me a few minutes.”
“Okay, I’ll go ask if someone in the building received flowers and if they remember him, it might not be our man.”
Jared simply nodded, starting to draw on the blank paper as Jensen stood and reached him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jared didn’t look up as he quickly worked the pencil on the paper. He’d always had a good memory for faces and pictures, and for some reason he couldn’t take Weatherly’s face out of his mind. He told himself it was just because of all that mess and he focused on the tattoo. He didn’t see Jensen’s worried frown, and he almost jumped when he felt a hand on his back.
Jensen knew how detached Jared tended to be when he drew, but this time there was something more.
For a few seconds the didn’t say anything, than Jared stopped, looking down at his work. He ripped the page from the sketch book and held it in his hand.
“What’s this?” Jensen asked, looking at the drawing.
“I saw a guy with this tattoo when I was going out.” Jared explained, his eyes fixed on the picture. “McDonald is checking if someone remembers him.”
“I’m sorry.” Jensen whispered, his hand never leaving Jared’s back.
Jared turned to look at him, dropping the sketch on the table next to him and bringing his hand to Jensen’s cheek. “Don’t say that. It’s not your fault.”
“We both know it is. You wouldn’t be the target of a psychotic son of a bitch if I stayed out of your life.”
“Hey.” Jared cupped both Jensen’s cheek with his hands and looked at him in the eye. “We’re gonna get through this, the police’s gonna get that bastard and put him in jail for life. No matter how long it’s gonna take, we can make it.” He saw Jensen try to say something, but stopped him with a thumb on his lips. “But please, don’t blame yourself. I’m here, with you, because I want to, and God knows how much I want to be with you.”
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
Jared showed a sweet smile and rested his forehead against Jensen’s. “Jeff might pass out from the view.”
Jensen let out a soft laugher and half closed his eyes, feeling the warm touch of Jared’s hands on his cheeks. “He won’t mind.”
Jared smile widened and he closed the distance between them, starting a slow kiss and feeling Jensen relax a bit. He could only imagine how Jensen had felt when he’d found the photos. They broke the kiss when they heard the door open and close again.
“No one received flowers and no one remembers our man.” Chase informed, arching an eyebrow when he saw Jared move his hands away from Jensen’s cheeks. They boy stood and gave him a sheet of paper, the drawing. It was a skull holding a rose with his teeth.
“I’ll see what I can get.” Chase looked as the CSU agent reached them.
“There’s only two sets of prints, probably who did this was wearing gloves. No sign the door was forced.”
McDonald nodded, disappointed. “Okay, I’ll put two agents outside the building to be safe. If you need help, call them.”
“Thanks.” Jensen replied, a little smile on his lips.
Chase nodded and walked towards the door, quickly followed by the CSU agent.
~
Jeff and Tom had left a few minutes later, after making Jensen and Jared promise for about three hundred times that they were going to call if something happened.
Then Jensen had sat on the couch, the tv turned on without the sound.
“Here, chocolate ice cream fixes everything.” Jared announced, sitting down next to him with the pack and two spoons. He opened it and his smile turned into a pout. “Damn, they didn’t let me put it in the fridge, it melted.”
Jensen took one of the spoons and smiled. “I bet it’s still good.”
The both took a spoonful of the melted ice cream and looked at each other. For a few seconds there was silence, both spoons still in their mouths, then they burst into laugh.
“Awful.” Jared muttered, putting the pack on the coffee table with his spoon.
“Definitely.” Jensen did the same, an amused smile on his face.
“I’ll see if there’s something better in the fridge.”
Jensen stopped him before he could get up and Jared looked at him with a frown. “It’s almost time for dinner, what about we stay here and let this horrible afternoon end?”
Jared smiled at that and his hand reached Jensen, pulling him closer. “Any idea?”
Jensen mirrored the smile and straddled him. “A couple.”
~~
When Jensen woke up the following morning he found the bed empty, and a nice smell coming from the kitchen. He yawned as he stood, stretching his arms out and heading for the bathroom.
He came out a few minutes after, and heard the noise of dishes and glasses. He reached the kitchen with an amused frown and saw Jared setting a small tray with pancakes and coffee, his cheeks and forehead stained with flour. Half the kitchen covered in flour.
“You’re awake!” Jared’s tone was disappointed and Jensen smiled, reaching him. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“Breakfast in bed?” Jensen raised his hand to wipe the flour stains on Jared’s face and his smile widened.
“Exactly, so get your extremely attractive ass back in bed and pretend to be asleep.” Jared pouted, causing Jensen to burst into laugh. “I’m serious!”
“Okay, okay, I’m goin’!” Jensen kept laughing as he walked to the bedroom, climbing back in bed.
A couple of minutes later Jared arrived with the tray and Jensen tried to repress the giggles as his boyfriend almost dropped the whole thing. “Honey, wake up!”
Jensen laughed even harder and raised to a sitting position, watching as Jared sat down next to him and put the tray on the bed.
“You just called me honey?” Jensen asked as soon as he managed to stop laughing.
Jared grinned and planted a chaste kiss on the boy’s temple. “Yes, sweetheart.”
“Jare, what’s gotten into you?” Jensen’s amused smile widened even more as Jared handed him the cup of coffee.
“I just wanted to…you know, do something special.” Jared’s grin turned into a sweet smile as he laid a kiss on Jensen lips.
“And what’s with the pet names?”
Jared simply shrugged and Jensen shook his head, starting to eat his breakfast. “Want me to feed you?”
At those words Jensen burst into laugh again and almost chocked on the mouthful of pancakes. Jared patted him on the back, grinning.
~
A few minutes later the pancakes and the coffee were gone, Jensen was sitting with his back against Jared, talking about their plans for the day. When the doorbell rang Jared stood and Jensen gestured him to leave the tray to him and stood as well.
“Michael?” Jared asked, opening the door with a frown. “What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to leave for Canada today.”
Jensen came out of the bedroom holding the tray with what was left of their breakfast and put it on the coffee table, reaching the door.
“No way I was going anywhere without talking to you two.” Michael said, a little smile on his lips. “How are you doin’?”
“We’re fine.” Jensen assured, nodding slowly. “Jared took a few days off and we have two agents right downstairs.”
“Maybe I could lend you a couple of my guys.”
“You mean your security Sasquatches?”
Michael raised an eyebrow and grinned. “They’re good at their job.”
“I bet they are.” Jensen showed a little smile and Michael got the message, sighing.
“Okay, then there’s another way I can help you.”
“You’re gonna kidnap us and bring us on your secret island in the middle of the ocean?” Jared asked with a skeptical tone, gaining a grin from Jensen and a glare from Rosenbaum.
“I do not own an island.” Michael sat down on the couch before going on. “But a few months ago I made a donation to the CalSci, and they invited me for some kind of lecture to show me how my money was gonna be used.”
“CalSci?” Jared asked, frowning.
“California Institute of Science.” Michael explained with a faint smile. “By the way, after this lecture I met a couple of my old teachers, and I’m still in contact with them. Like, you know, I go see what they’re up to, from time to time. It can be funny.”
“You actually spend part of your days at the CalSci?” Jensen asked with an extremely amused expression.
“Hey, I’m rich, not stupid. And don’t forget I graduated from that school.” Rosenbaum glared at him and shook his head as Jensen chuckled. “So, there’s this guy, I took a couple of his courses when I was in last year, now he teaches applied mathematics, and I think he could help you.”
“Wait, you think an applied mathematics teacher from CalSci could help us?” Jensen frowned deeply, not sure of his own words.
“His brother is an FBI agent, I could ask him to look into this.”
“Your idea of help is the FBI?” Jared asked, confused.
“I don’t like it either, but the Bureau has much better resources than the LAPD.” Michael’s tone was serious, and he fixed his gaze in Jensen’s. “Think about it.”
Jensen looked at Jared and bit on his lip. There was only one thing he wanted in that moment, and he was going to do whatever it took.
“Okay.” Jensen looked back at Michael and nodded. “I just want all this to be over.”
That man wanted to kill him, wanted to kill Jared, and he was willing to go through Hell to end that story, if necessary.
~~
The teacher Michael had told them about turned out to be Professor Charles Eppes. Charlie, as he’d asked them to call him. They’d talked to him at the CalSci and Charlie had accepted to ask his brother to look into the case.
And that was how Jensen and Jared had ended up at the FBI office, following Chase and Charlie and heading for Special Agent Don Eppes’ desk.
“You sure about this?” Jared asked as they walked out of the elevator.
“I dunno.” Jensen admitted, looking around. “But maybe it’s the only way to catch that bastard.”
Jared showed a little smile and his fingers brushed briefly Jensen’s, letting him know he was there with him. Jensen smiled and nodded, slightly reassured.
They stopped and Jensen saw two agents talk, a man wearing a black shirt with rolled sleeves and a woman in her thirties, wearing a pair of black jeans and a white shirt. Other two agents joined them and Charlie called his brother.
“Hey, Charlie!” The man with the rolled sleeves turned out to be Don Eppes and Jensen decided that yeah, he was much better than he’d imagined. Not that he’d actually expected Fox Mulder or something, but still.
“Hey Don, you busy?”
“No, just a minute. Wait there.” Don turned again towards the three agents and gave them some orders, then looked as they walked away. “I just closed a triple murder case, so I hope this is really as big as you said.”
“It is, agent Eppes.” Chase replied, holding out his hand to Don. “I’m detective Chase McDonald, LAPD. Is there somewhere quiet where we can talk?”
Don thought for a couple of seconds, then nodded walking to one of the rooms. “She’s agent Megan Reeves, she’s with my team.” He informed, pointing at the woman who was taking the last case pictures off a panel. “So, I wanna know how big this is before it turns official. And who is involved.”
“Jensen, maybe it’s better if I…” Chase tried to say, but Jensen shook his head.
“I had a car accident in Seattle about three months ago.” Jensen voice was low but steady, and he was looking directly at Don. “And there’s evidence that it wasn’t an accident. Someone is trying to kill me.” Don frowned at those words and Jared looked at agent Reeves, who had stopped her task and was listening as well. “They broke into my house and they threatened Jared.”
Don’s eyes moved for a couple of seconds to Jared and the boy felt uncomfortable under that gaze. It was like that man was trying to valuate if he could be just a victim or something more.
“You know who would want to kill you?”
“That’s why we’re here.” Jensen looked at his hands for a few seconds, then raised his eyes again. “Michael Weatherly.”
“What makes you say that?”
Jensen hesitated, throwing a glance towards Chase to see if it was okay. Chase nodded and Jensen sighed, looking back at Don. “I’ve worked for him for a few months when I came here in LA four years ago.” Jensen swallowed, trying to ease the knot in his throat. He felt Jared’s leg brush against his and felt reassured. He was doing it for a good reason, no matter he had to tell these people where he’d worked. “I knew about his traffic of counterfeit money and I passed information to detective McDonald.”
“Why didn’t you call the FBI?” Don asked with a frown.
“We did.” Chase replied with an unreadable expression. “But he got away because we didn’t have enough evidence and we moved too quickly. He flew to Mexico right after the investigation, and we didn’t know he was back.”
Don nodded slowly, thinking. “Megan, can you find me this guy’s file?”
“Sure.” The woman walked out quickly, heading for her desk, while the other two agents entered the room.
“These are the other agents of my team, Colby Granger and David Sinclair.” Don introduced them, then turned again towards Jensen. “What else can you tell me?”
“I might have seen the guy who broke into the house.” Jared said, talking for the fist time since they’d met the agent. “I was going out and I saw a guy coming up the stairs. I didn’t see his face ‘cause he had cap and glasses, but he was holding a bunch of flowers, and he had a tattoo.”
“No one received flowers, and no one remembers him.” Chase informed, taking the drawing of the tattoo from his pocket. “Jared made this, it’s the tattoo.”
Don looked at it as Colby and David approached too.
“You sure this is the tattoo?” Colby’s expression darkened immediately and he looked up at Jared.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Jared confirmed, worried by the man’s reaction.
“Looks familiar?” Don asked to his colleague.
“It’s bad news.” Colby looked again at the drawing, shaking his head.
“How bad?” Jensen asked, looking directly at him.
“Homeland Security bad.” Colby looked at him in the eye, sighing. “This guy was involved with bioterrorism.”
“Wait, a terrorist is trying to kill me?” Jensen asked with incredulous tone.
“No, he’s a merc.” Colby looked at Jared then at Jensen again. “A damn good one. He worked for a bioterrorist group and a few big names in the organized crime. He’s been quiet lately, they think he’s taking small gigs.”
“And now he works for Weatherly.” Chase finished for him, shaking his head.
“Listen, there’s not much you can do for now. Just go home and we’ll look into it.” Don sounded worried, and Jensen wished he had something more concrete than threatens. He wished he remembered more. “I’ll call you as soon as we get something.”
Jensen nodded slowly and stood, holding out his hand to the man. “Thanks agent Eppes.”
~~
“Maybe you should tell your mom.” Jared said, his hand moving soothingly on Jensen’s chest as they lied on the bed next to each other. It was the end of July and the temperature was almost unbearable, so they’d ended up dozing on the bed instead of cleaning or doing anything else. The FBI hadn’t called yet, but it had been less than 12 hours, so they weren’t surprised.
“No, she’d freak out.” Jensen’s hand reached Jared and he tangled their fingers. “And she’d tell me to go back home.”
“Maybe it’d be safer, you know, at least for a while.” He knew Jensen called his mother every couple of days, but he also knew it was hard for him to lie to her about the whole thing.
“I don’t wanna go back there.” Jensen closed his eyes and Jared looked at him, then placed a kiss on his bare shoulder. “Not yet, at least.”
“Okay.” Jared whispered, his lips barely touching Jensen’s skin, and the boy smiled.
“You know what would be good right now?” Jensen opened his eyes and looked at Jared with a little smile. “A shower.”
Jared’s eyebrow arched and he mirrored the smile, not entirely sure of his own words. “Together?”
Jensen brought their hands to his mouth and placed a kiss on Jared’s knuckles. “We have to save water.”
Without saying anything else he stood and walked towards the bathroom, throwing a last glance to Jared.
The younger boy didn’t get up immediately, and watched as his boyfriend exited the room. He didn’t want to rush Jensen, and he was still worried about that part of their relationship, but the road had been good so far. Jensen seemed to be pretty comfortable with their making out and handjobs, and Jared wondered if the boy was trying to tell him he was ready for next step.
Trying not to overanalyze the situation, Jared got up and followed Jensen in the bathroom, finding him wearing only his boxers.
The moment he stepped in the room Jared felt something wasn’t right. “Jen, you okay?”
“There are more.” Jensen whispered, not looking at Jared. “Scars. There are more than the ones you saw.”
Jared’s hand immediately found its way to Jensen’s back, and he stroked the scars gently. “It’s okay.” He circled Jensen’s waist with his arms and kissed the boy’s jaw. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”
At those words Jensen seemed to come out of his haze and turned slowly, breaking the embrace and showing a little smile. “I want this. I just wanted you to know before you see them.”
Jared nodded slowly, realizing that yeah, despite Jensen felt much more comfortable taking his shirt off while Jared was around, he’d never really seen Jensen naked, he didn’t know every secret his body hid, every scar. But he wanted to.
Jensen opened the water and took off his boxers, quickly followed by Jared. They stepped in the spray and felt a wave of relief as the water washed away sweat and tiredness.
“I needed this.” Jared said, keeping his eyes closed as the water splashed in his face.
“This shower’s definitely too tiny for you.” Jared opened his eyes and saw the amused grin on Jensen’s face. He couldn’t help but grinned back, as his eyes wandered on the body in front of him, drinking the sight with a mix of awe and shyness.
Then he saw them. On his hipbone. Cigarette burn scars.
Jensen noticed where Jared’s gaze had stopped and his smile vanished, as he looked away. Jared didn’t react immediately, he was trying desperately to repress the wave of rage that was rising in his chest as his eyes didn’t manage to look away. When Jensen moved and tried to leave, Jared looked up, guilt and sorry showing on his face.
“I’m sorry Jen.” He whispered, his hands moving up to cup Jensen’s face. “I just…I wish I could do something.”
“You are doing something, Jared.” Jensen looked at him in the eye and tried to smile. “All I need is that you…”
“I won’t leave you.” Jared assured, not letting him the time to finish. “I don’t care how many scars you have, Jen, or how badly that fucker messed you up, I’m not gonna leave you.” Jensen found himself with his back against the wall as Jared’s lips placed a kiss on Jensen’s chin. “I love you.” It was a whisper on his skin, but Jensen heard it clear as a bell.
“What?” Jensen’s voice was unsure, and Jared didn’t move. “Jare…”
“I love you.” Jared repeated, this time looking at Jensen in the eye. “And I wish I wasn't naked right now, 'cause I feel kinda silly tellin' you this without any clothes on, but hell, I love you.”
Jensen didn’t say anything for several seconds, just keeping his gaze fixed in Jared’s as the water slowly ran completely cold. Yet all Jensen felt was warmth and shock and happiness and his eyes were starting to burn a little. Without a word he leaned in and kissed Jared like his life depended on it, and maybe it did.
One of Jared’s hands closed the water without breaking the kiss, and the other went down to stroke Jensen’s back, keeping him close.
“I love you too.” Jensen whispered on his lips when they broke the kiss, gaining the most blinding smile he’d ever seen on Jared’s face.
~~
A/N: Before you go, there’s a little surprise for you. It’s a little flashfic about a few (happy) moments in Nathan and Jensen’s relationship.
Everything we had (Is no longer there)
What else? Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoyed this update.
See you soon,JM