Fic: Hold on to me (While the ground shakes), [5/15]
Title: ‘Hold on to me (While the ground shakes)’ (5/15)
Author: JM
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past other/Jensen, Michael/Tom, Jeff/Samantha, mentions of Erica/Allison, Denny/Izzie, George/Meredith, Derek/Meredith.
Rating: NC-17 overall
Characters: They’re quite a lot, so I’ll put them behind a cut for the sake of your f-lists.
Main: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Eric Kripke, Tom Welling, Michael Rosenbaum, Michael Weatherly, Nathan Petrelli (Heroes), Josh Holloway, Chris Kane.
Secondary: Chase McDonald (LA Heat) Allison Mack, Erica Durance, Samantha Smith, Don Eppes (Numb3rs), Megan Reeves (Numb3rs), Colby Granger (Numb3rs).
Guest stars: Alona Tal, August Brooks (LA Heat), Annette O’Toole, Chad Michael Murray, Charlie Eppes (Numb3rs), David Sinclair (Numb3rs), Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy), George O'Malley (Grey’s Anatomy), Addison Montgomery-Shepard (Grey’s Anatomy), Derek Shepard (Grey’s Anatomy), Denny Duquette (Grey’s Anatomy), Izzie Stevens (Grey’s Anatomy), Christina Yang (Grey’s Anatomy), Alex Karev (Grey’s Anatomy)
Mentions of: Josh Charles, Dan Rydell (Sports Night), Sandy McCoy, Steve Carlson, Kate Austen (Lost)
Category: Slash
Word count: 60,000 total
Warnings: AU, angst, slash, language (sometimes), amnesiac!Jensen, mention of non-con, murder and violence.
Disclaimer: Again, for the sake of your f-lists, here's the lj-cut.
Jared and Jensen aren’t mine ç_ç they belong to each other themselves. So does every other real person and/or every fictional character I mentioned here. Well, except Josh Charles, who belongs to my dear Fae and if you say otherwise she’s gonna cut your hands and feed them to her goldfish. (Yeah, I’m obviously kidding, we own nothing. ;_____;)
Numb3rs belongs to Cheryl Heuton and Nicholas Falacci, Grey’s Anatomy belongs to Shonda Rhimes, Heroes belongs to Tim Kring, LA Heat belongs to whoever its creator is, Sports Night belongs to Aaron Sorkin and Lost belongs to JJ Abrams.I really don’t mean to offend anyone and nothing of what I wrote in this story is to be considered real, it’s all fiction.
Author’s Notes: Okay, so…first thing. You don't need to know the shows I put in this story, so don't worry about that. I know it sounds crazy to mix up real people and fictional characters. But trust me, I had a hell of a lot of fun writing this, and if you give it a chance, maybe you’ll enjoy reading it! ^_-
As ever, feel free to report any mistake. Constructive criticism is welcome, feedback makes me happy!
A special thanks to
nejem for her precious support!!
Beta: My beloved and wonderful and irreplaceable and amazing
faechan .
Summary: “After a car accident Jensen wakes up with a gap of four years in his memory, and the way everyone around him acts makes him understand something horrible happened in that period. While Jensen tries to get back his life back together, Jared leaves his family home in San Antonio, trying to find his own way, and he ends up working in a place he’d never imagined.
But things are not as simple as they appear and they’ll find out their lives are linked, in more ways than they think.” - First story in the Threads!Verse
Crossposted
[ Chapter 1 - ‘Awakenings and new towns’ ]
[ Chapter 2 - ‘New starts and old fairytales’ ]
[ Chapter 3 - 'Therapy sessions and a goodbye party' ]
[ Chapter 4 - 'Teardrops and new friendships' ]
Chapter 5 - ‘Bad ideas and unexpected offers’
The guard stopped in front of the cell but the man inside didn’t look up from his book.
“You’ve got a visitor, Petrelli.”
“Don’t want to see anyone.”
The guard chuckled, somehow expecting that reply. “He says it’s important.”
“Who?”
“His name is Jensen Ackles.”
Nathan’s head snapped up and he frowned, looking at the guard. He closed his book and grinned, standing slowly.
“Let’s go.”
~
Jensen sat quietly behind the bulletproof glass, waiting for the guard to be back with Petrelli. On his left a seven years old boy was sitting in his mother’s lap, talking to his father through the phone.
He sighed, grateful he’d convinced Tom to wait outside; he knew he needed to be alone. His breath hitched as he saw the man walk towards the seat in front of him with a grin.
“Ten minutes, Petrelli.”
Jensen waited until Nathan was seated in front of him, then took the handset, but hesitated, not sure what he wanted to say. Judging from the smug smirk the man had on his face, Jensen doubted he felt sorry.
“Look who’s back, the little bitch.” Jensen didn’t reply, a knot forming in his throat. “You missin’ me?”
“No.” Jensen simply said, his voice low but steady.
“Then what?” Nathan asked, leaning closer, his face a few inches from the glass.
“Go to Hell.” Jensen replied, leaning closer as well, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “You’re gonna rot in here and it’s exactly what you deserve, you son of a bitch.”
“You came here to insult me and this is the best you can do?” Nathan asked, laughing. “Last time you had a lot more fantasy.” At Jensen’s suspicious glare he chuckled. “You don’t remember it?”
“I don’t remember anything.” Jensen thought for a second that maybe telling the man the truth wasn’t such a good idea, but he repressed that thought. “You won’t see me hurting again over what you did. I don’t remember you and I don’t remember what you did to me. But I know.”
Nathan looked genuinely surprised at that, but his smirk came back immediately. “You mean you don’t remember leaving me?” He asked, a strange light in his eyes that looked like possessiveness and amusement. “You don’t remember that night?”
“Shut up.” Jensen replied, his heart starting to beat faster.
“You don’t remember it.” Nathan repeated, amused and thrilled.
“I said, shut up.”
“Or what?” Nathan asked, his grin widening. “You came here to talk, let’s talk. Maybe about the way you insulted me that night, or the way you begged.” Jensen closed his eyes, but couldn’t bring himself to put down the handset. “You begged me to let you go, and you tried to run from me. No one runs from me.”
“That’s why you killed your wife.”
“She wasn’t more stupid than you are.” Nathan replied with a dismissive tone. “But you fought a lot more. I had to tie you down.” At those words Jensen’s eyes widened and Nathan faked surprise. “Oh that’s right, you don’t remember what happened.”
“You son of a bitch.” Jensen said, barely repressing the need to punch something.
“It’s a shame, you know? That you don’t remember, I mean.” Nathan nodded to himself, a self-satisfied grin on his lips. “‘Cause boy, I have to tell you, that has been a hell of a good night. Sometimes I kinda miss fuckin’ your tight ass while you beg me to stop.”
“You’re sick.” Jensen muttered, shaking his head slowly and closing his eyes.
“And what about you?” Nathan asked, his tone half way between mocking and serious. “You might not remember, but now you’re fucked up and no one wants damaged goods.”
Those words cut right through Jensen and he felt his heart clench. “Got to Hell.”
He slammed the handset in place and barely saw Nathan laughing behind the glass as he stormed out of the room, rage and disgust making his stomach curl, threatening to make him throw up.
~
“Jensen!”
“Leave me alone.” Jensen almost yelled as he got walked quickly towards the car.
“Jensen!” The voice repeated, and Jensen stopped, realizing it wasn’t Tom’s.
“What the hell are you doin’ here?” Jensen asked, turning and seeing Eric standing next to Tom.
“I’m trying to help you.” Eric replied, walking towards him.
Jensen didn’t say anything for a few seconds, but let the man approach him. “Who told you?”
“Jeff. He’s worried about you.” Eric’s expression was serious as he looked in Jensen’s eyes. “Why didn’t you talk to me about this?”
“You would have tried to stop me.” Jensen looked at him like he’d grown two heads.
“I know why you came here.” Eric said, a sorry look in his eyes. “I know you wanted to hurt him, to make him see he’s no longer in control.” At that Jensen looked surprised, but then nodded. “You wanted to do this even before the accident, but yeah, I stopped you then. And I would have tried to stop you this time.”
“Why?”
“You saw him.” Eric put his hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “You couldn’t show him you’re in control, ‘cause you can’t remember what happened. You showed him a weakness, and he took control all over again, didn’t he?”
Again Jensen nodded, but didn’t say a word, feeling incredibly stupid for thinking that Eric wouldn’t have understood.
“I’m here to help you get your life back, Jensen, but you have to trust me.”
“I’ll try. It’s just…” Jensen hesitated, biting on his lower lip. “I needed to do this.”
“I know.” Eric’s voice was understanding and Jensen looked up. He showed a little smile as Eric took his hand away.
“Thanks.” Jensen said, looking at him in the eye. “For coming here.”
“Don’t mention it.” Eric smiled back and then nodded towards Tom, who was standing near the car, waiting.
Jensen nodded and walked towards his friend, giving Eric another little grateful smile. Yeah, maybe he could trust the man, after all.
~~
It had been three days since Jensen had visited Nathan in prison, and the things that Nathan told him had kept bugging him. He knew he shouldn’t believe them, but he wanted to know what had happened exactly.
He’d read a few pages of the journal, but hadn’t found what he was looking for. Eric wasn’t going to tell him, not for now, so all he had to do was wait. Maybe Eric was right, but Jensen couldn’t help but feel frustrated, knowing that the answer was right in his mind, and he couldn’t reach it.
Reading the journal he’d found out that his grades in college were awfully good, and that he had moved in with Chris right after leaving Nathan. But on one thing Eric was surely right: the journal was helping him see the progresses, just like it probably did before the accident.
Jensen stood from the bed and put the journal on the bedside table, heading for the bathroom. He’d thought that visiting Nathan he would have gotten at least a few memories back, but nothing had happened. And on some level Jensen was almost grateful for now. Maybe he wasn’t ready yet.
He sighed as he took his clothes off and opened the water in the shower. For a few second he looked at himself in the mirror, for maybe the first time since he woke up in hospital. He’d shaved and washed his face every morning, but he’d never stopped and looked at himself. Not after discovering what looked a lot like cigarette burn scars on his hipbone, two of them.
The bags he’d had under his eyes after the accident were gone, his body seemed to be in shape, and he guessed that maybe he went to the gym before the accident. He turned and frowned, spotting something on his back.
Again. On his right shoulder blade he could see a scar, about an inch long. Another was lower, exactly on his spine, a bit shorter then the other, and a third on the small of his back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, telling himself that they were scars and that it was over. He’d heard about abusive relationships in the past, and he’d felt sorry for those stories, but knowing that he’d been in one changed everything.
Jensen sighed and stepped in the shower, trying not to let those thoughts depress him. The last thing he needed was depression, and he wasn’t going to let it get to him.
~
As he walked into his bedroom Jensen half expected to see Chris, just to realize once again that he lived alone now. He kind of felt lonely in that apartment and somehow he didn’t feel safe without someone living there as well, but he wouldn’t have admitted it to Chris, he knew the boy would have come back on the first plane.
He shook his head and dialed his friend number, knowing that he wasn’t working. He put the speaker and started to dress.
“Jensen?” Chris’ voice sounded glad, but Jensen didn’t miss the edge of worry in it.
“Hey, man. How’s your new job going?”
“Great, really great.” Chris replied, and Jensen could tell he was slightly relieved by Jensen’s light tone. “What about you?”
“I’m fine.” Jensen smiled even if he knew his friend couldn’t see him. “I was about to go out and I thought about calling you before.”
“Out?” Chris sounded surprised. “As ‘with friends’ out?”
“Kinda.” Jensen let out a soft chuckle at the thought of Chris’ reaction at what he was about to say. “I’m goin’ to the Crimson. Tom’s working, but we’ll get a beer together between shows.”
“You sure?” Chris’ tone sounded carefully worried. He didn’t want to make Jensen angry, and he knew that questioning everything he did was exactly what made Jensen angry.
“I’m sure.” Jensen replied, his tone calm and patient as he closed the zip of his pants.
“Be careful.”
“I won’t talk to strangers.” Jensen replied with a faked solemn tone.
“I’m serious.”
“I know.” Jensen smiled and buttoned his shirt slowly. “Tell me something about the other residents, you never talk about them. Someone interesting?”
“Well, I found out what issues George and Meredith had.” Chris announced, and Jensen felt the grin on his face. “They had sex.”
“What?” Jensen dropped his shoes, then let out a soft laughter. “You mean O’Malley and Grey?”
“Yep.”
“You sure?”
“George basically yelled it in the hallway.” Chris let out a chuckle and Jensen shook his head. “Problem is, Meredith had a story with McDreamy and she’s still in love with him.”
“Who the hell is McDreamy?” Jensen asked as he put on a shoe.
“Your surgeon, Shepherd.”
“Oh crap. She had a story with Shepherd?” Jensen put on the second shoe as an incredulous smile rose to his lips.
“But now McDreamy’s wife is here, and I have to say, she’s pretty damn hot, and McDreamy dumped Meredith to get back with his wife. So she’s in love and she’s miserable, and she slept with her best friend.”
“You work in a hospital or a tv show?” Jensen asked, laughing.
“Good question.” Chris let out an amused chuckle. There were a few seconds of silence before Chris talked again. “Hey, Jen…”
“I know.” Jensen’s lips curved into a smile. “Thanks.”
“If you ever want to come visit, my apartment is big…”
“You’re missing me.” Jensen said with a triumphant smirk.
“I was just saying…” Chris tried to sound casual, but Jensen grinned.
“You totally miss me.” Jensen let out a soft laughter. “Don’t worry, it’s okay, I miss you too. Kinda.”
“Want me to come back?” Chris asked with a casual tone.
“No.” Jensen shook his head, his tone patient. Every time he heard Chris there was that question, exactly the same every time. Jensen wouldn’t have admitted, but a couple of times he’d been tempted to reply ‘yes’ to the ‘Want me to come back?’.
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then.” Chris sighed, but his tone wasn’t as worried as before. “Have to go, my shift starts in a couple of hours and I haven’t slept yet.”
“Sure, man. See you.”
~~
The music in the room wasn’t too loud, and Tom was dancing on the stage a few feet from where Jared was leaning against the wall. It was his free night, but he had nowhere to be, so he’d ended up at the Crimson, watching the show.
He didn’t see Weatherly until the man was in front of him, handing a beer.
“Your free night, uh?”
“Looks so.” Jared replied with a smirk. “Allison’s in the backstage.”
“‘m not here for Allison.” Weatherly grinned and leaned a hand on the wall next to Jared’s head. “Not tonight.”
Jared chuckled, blushing slightly at that gaze. He’d thought about calling the man, but he’d never done it. Partly because Allison hadn’t been exactly thrilled when she had found out the man was in town.
“Then why?” Jared asked, faking a innocent tone, but the blush on his cheeks gave him away.
“I bet you know pretty well why.” Weatherly leaned in, his face getting closer. “What about a private show? Just you and me?” He whispered in his ear, his other hand on Jared’s arm.
Jared’s breath hitched and he shifted uncomfortably as he looked for a way to get out of that. He hadn’t meant the game to go that far, and now he had to back off, a way or another.
“You’re always so direct?” Jared asked and let out a nervous chuckle.
“No, only when I’m interested in the deal.” Jared got the edge of amusement on the man’s tone and felt the hand wander lower, towards his waist.
“Look…” Jared started to say, shifting and trying to get away. “I’m not…”
“You’re not what? Gay?” Weatherly teased, amused.
“He’s not stupid.” An annoyed voice behind the man said.
Weatherly snorted and turned, visibly irritated. “What the hell do you…Ackles?” His expression turned into an incredulous grin and the man turned completely.
“We know each other?” Jensen asked, looking at the man.
“I ran this place, I took you out of your misery, I got you a rich boyfriend and you don’t even remember me?” Weatherly kept grinning and he shook his head. “I guess you took too many blows on your head.”
“What did you just say?” Jensen looked at him with a disbelieving expression. “What the hell did you just say?”
“You remember that, uh?” The man asked, taking a step towards Jensen and forgetting about Jared. “At least you’re still walking.” He took another step towards Jensen and his grin widened. “By the way, you never thanked me for bringing Nathan here.”
Jensen didn’t say anything, just stared at the man with shock and disgust. Jared saw the boy’s obvious discomfort and walked towards Weatherly.
“Leave him alone.” Jared said, reaching them.
“What? You’re the little slut’s new boyfriend?” Weatherly asked with an amused tone, facing him.
Jared’s punch connected with Weatherly’s jaw before either of them realized it and the man went down. He stood almost immediately and punched Jared, making him take a step backwards.
Before Jared could react again Jensen grabbed his arm and pulled him away, towards the exit. They stormed out and stopped in the street, and Jensen looked at him with an unreadable look in his eyes.
“You’ve got a room there?” Jensen asked pointing at the motel. Jared simply nodded, silently glad Jensen seemed to be out of his shock.
The grip on his arm didn’t loosen until they were at Jared’s room door, and the boy opened it.
“What the hell, Jared?” Jensen asked as he closed the door behind him. “You could lose your job over this!”
Jared turned towards him, surprised. “He called you slut.”
He regretted saying those words as soon as he saw Jensen look away.
“I’m quite sure he’s not the first.” Jensen replied with a dismissive tone, shaking his head.
“It’s not a good reason not to punch him.” Jared insisted, taking a step towards his friend.
“Trust me, it’s not worth losing your job.”
“Hey.” Jared called, and he waited until he locked his eyes with Jensen’s before talking. “It is.”
Jensen didn’t say anything for a few seconds, looking almost surprised by that sentence, then he walked towards the little bathroom.
He came back with a wet towel and put on the spot of Jared’s jaw where he knew the bruise would appear soon.
For a couple of minutes they didn’t say anything, then Jared took the towel from Jensen’s hand and kept it in place.
“What was all that?” Jared asked as he saw Jensen sit next to him on the bed.
“What?”
“You’re not a slut, you were a stripper.” Jared said, conscious that Jensen knew what he was talking about.
“For some people there’s no difference.” Jensen’s tone was flat and Jared’s heart clenched at that. Every time he saw Jensen there was a shadow of something in his eyes and moves, but that was the first time he saw the boy sad and he definitely didn’t like it.
“Well, for me there is.” He turned to face Jensen and dropped the towel. “A lot of difference.”
“I don’t even know who I was when I worked here.” Jensen replied, his eyes meeting Jared’s.
“It doesn’t matter who you were, it’s who you’re now that matters.” Jared said, surprised to see all that sadness in the boy’s gaze. “And you’re not a slut, you’re not a stripper and from what I’ve seen you’re definitely not someone who deserves to be treated like that.” He saw surprise in his gaze and went on. “If I could go back I’d punch him again.”
“Wow.” Jensen said with a little smile.
“Yeah, don’t mention it.” Jared mirrored the smile, his hand reaching for the towel.
Jensen’s smile widened as Jared’s words sank deeper in his mind. Meeting the old owner had had a strange effect on him, that man made him feel cheap for some reason, and he’d had the impression he’d almost been sold to Nathan. He’d really needed Jared’s words and the boy probably wasn’t aware of how much Jensen felt better after them.
“So, you’re still living here?”
“I guess I’ll live here forever.” Jared grinned, looking around and sighing.
“I was thinking…” Jensen started, biting on his lip. “You could move in at my place. It’s kinda too big for one and too quiet since Chris left.”
He wasn’t sure it was a good idea, he didn’t know Jared so well, but he needed someone in the house and Jared needed a house, so it fitted.
“You sure?” Jared asked, stunned. “I mean, you don’t have to, I’ll be fine…”
“Hey, I’m sure.” Jensen said, and the moment he saw the huge smile spread on Jared’s lips he knew that yeah, maybe he was sure after all.
~
It was just a couple of hours later that all Jared’s things were packed and they were on Jensen’s doorstep. It was quick and impulsive, but the thought of having someone to live with him made Jensen feel better, and the thought that that someone was Jared made him feel safer.
The way Jared had acted had upset him at first, and he could easily see why. He wasn’t exactly at ease with violence, but then he’d realized that Jared had done that to protect him, somehow, not because he enjoyed hurting that man.
“This is your room.” Jensen said, opening the door of what was Chris’ room once. “The mattress feels better than it looks.”
“It’s perfect.” Jared’s smile was still on his face and Jensen found himself smiling once again.
“You can sleep on the couch for tonight, I’ll find some sheets tomorrow and we’ll make the bed.”
“Thanks, man.” Jared said, turning to look at Jensen. “I dunno how to tell you how grateful I am.”
“I’ll use my imagination.” Jensen replied, grinning and feeling better. “I’ve got some beer in the fridge, but not much in the cupboards.”
“I’ll be more than okay.” Jared still had that wide, contagious smile and Jensen laughed, shaking his head.
“You’re bouncy.”
“You’re sure about this?” Jared asked, his smile disappearing and a worried expression taking its place. “‘Cause if you changed your mind I understand. Really.”
Jensen put his hand on Jared’s shoulder and looked at him in the eye. “I’m sure, Jare.”
~~
“How the hell did you go from ‘I want to know him better’ to ‘I asked him to move in with me’ in less than a week?”
“I dunno.” Jensen admitted, the pancakes untouched in his plate. “But I like his presence. And he needed a place.”
“You mean you like that there’s someone in the house, or you like that there’s him?” Jeff asked, sitting in front of the boy.
“Both.” Jensen said, starting to eat slowly. At Jeff’s glare he sighed. “The latter.”
“So you like him?”
Jensen thought about it. Yeah, he liked Jared, he liked the way he smiled, the stupid jokes he made during the whole time they spent in front of the tv the night before since neither of them could sleep, the way his hair and skin smelled of honey and cinnamon after the shower.
But he knew what Jeff meant, and he didn’t know if he was ready to ask himself how much he liked Jared.
“I like him. I’m starting to like him a lot.”
“But you’re not ready.” Jeff finished for him as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
“I dunno. I need time.”
“You have all the time of the world, boy.”
“Not right now.” Jensen sighed, looking at the clock on the wall. “I’ve got an appointment with Eric.”
“Finish your pancakes, psycho-man can wait.”
Jensen let out a chuckle and nodded. “Damn right.” He said with a grin.
~~
When Jared woke up the house was empty, no sign of Jensen. He walked in the kitchen and saw a note on the fridge. “Out, be back in a couple of hours. Make yourself at home. Jensen.”
Jared frowned and opened the fridge, looking for something to eat. He closed it and sighed, looking at the clock and wondering when Jensen had gone out. He thought about going to the grocery and realized he didn’t have a key of the apartment yet.
He retrieved his stuff from the guest room and headed for the bathroom, yawning. It was ten in the morning, and he really needed to wake up.
A shower and a meeting with the toothbrush later he felt definitely more like a human being. He and Jensen had stayed up watching tv for a while and Jared was almost sure he’d fallen asleep at some point, because he didn’t remember lying down and taking the blanket.
He walked to the guest room with only a towel around his waist and one on his shoulders, humming a song without even realizing it. He was wrapped up in his thoughts and took the wrong door, ending up in Jensen bedroom but realizing it only after a few of seconds.
There was a journal on the bed and Jared looked at it, puzzled. The leather band that usually locked it was cut and the cover was worn. He was curious and wanted to look at it, but he shook his head, heading outside and telling himself to mind his own business. He didn’t want Jensen to kick him out after only one day. He liked the boy, even more than he should, and living with him made Jared feel bouncy like a teenager with a bad crush. Which was exactly what he was.
And then he knew Jensen had enough trouble without a nosy roommate messing with his stuff.
Jared didn’t need Tom to tell him that Jensen was the friend they had talked about that night in the motel room, but his friend hadn’t told him much about it. He’d said that Jensen had gone through a lot because of a man he’d met at the Crimson a few years before and that he’d had a car accident about three weeks before and didn’t remember the last four years of his life.
He gave a last look at the journal and closed the door, heading for the guest room.
~~
Jensen waited until they were both seated, then looked directly at his therapist. “Who’s the old owner of the Crimson?”
At the question Eric’s eyebrow raised and the man looked quizzically at Jensen. “Michael Weatherly.” Eric replied, studying the expression on Jensen’s face. “Why are you asking?”
“I met him last night, and I never wrote his name in the journal.” Jensen’s tone was unreadable and the man frowned, visibly surprised. “He was hitting on Jared.”
“And that annoyed you.”
“A lot.” Jensen admitted with a soft chuckle. “I mean, I didn’t know who he was, but he had Jared cornered.”
“So you stepped in.” Eric said, his frown deep and his attention focused on the emotions showing his Jensen’s eyes.
“Yeah. You know, Jared wasn’t exactly happy ‘bout it.” Jensen explained, leaning back against the couch. “But when Weatherly saw me he said something about Nathan.”
“He was the one who introduced you and Nathan.” Eric replied, nodding slowly. “What happened then?”
“I wasn’t really…I felt weird. I had this sensation, I…” Jensen took a deep breath and looked at the man. “I felt cheap, like he sold me out to Nathan, like…” He hesitated, remembering the disgust that sensation had brought to him. “Like I was property when I worked for him.”
“Nathan sometimes treated you like that, to make you feel cheap, and Weatherly hasn’t been a nice boss either.” Eric said, his eyes fixed in the boy’s thoughtful ones. “You’re not property, Jensen, they had no rights to treat you like that.”
“I kinda know.” Jensen replied with a little sad smile. “But I guess that at the time it didn’t help that he called me slut.” Eric shook his head, visibly sorry for that. “And this is why Jared punched him.”
“Jared punched him?” Eric asked, incredulous.
“Yeah.” Jensen said, and his smile turned into a small grin. “He couldn’t get rid of Weatherly when he was trying to get in his pants, but he punched the jerk when he insulted me.”
Eric didn’t say anything for a few seconds, studying Jensen’s expression. “I know you hate it, but this time I have to ask. How d’you feel about what Jared did?”
Jensen sighed, lowering his gaze for a while, before looking up and taking a deep breath. “It upset me at first.” He admitted, seeing the understanding on Eric’s face. “But Weatherly was saying things and I couldn’t….I couldn’t snap out of it, it was like…I couldn’t react.” Jensen went on, his eyes wandering on the floor. “I was vulnerable.” He sighed and looked up, a strange light in his eyes. “And Jared stopped him, he…I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know it, but if he hadn’t punched Weatherly I’d have freaked out on the spot.”
“He protected you.” Eric replied, surprised of the emotions showing in Jensen’s gaze.
“Yeah, I guess.” Jensen showed a little smile and looked directly at the therapist.
“And that makes you feel…?”
“I dunno, doc.” Jensen shook his head, breaking eye contact. “I’m pretty damn confused about the kid. And…” He bit on his lower lip, considering the best way to tell the man Jared was living with him now. “I might have offered him to stay at my place.”
“That’s a pretty huge step from ‘I want to know him better’ to ‘I asked him to move in with me’.” Eric raised an eyebrow, a little smile on his lips.
“You used almost the same words Jeff did, and that’s creepy.” Jensen muttered, shaking his head. “I know it’s impulsive, but…” He took another deep breath, getting his thoughts together. “Want the truth?” He asked, looking up and fixing his gaze once again in Eric’s one. “The house feels freakin’ empty, and the thought of being alone it kinda scares the hell out of me. I’m not gonna tell Chris ‘cause he’d fly back here and lose the greatest occasion of his life, and I’m not gonna tell anyone ‘cause I don’t want to sound like a whiny chick.” Jensen spoke quickly, almost afraid that if he stopped he might not say everything he wanted to say. “But going to bed knowing to be the only one in the house freaks me out quite a lot and Jared makes me feel kinda safer, and I like him being around with those freaky huge smiles.”
“When he’s gonna move in?”
“Last night.”
Eric raised both eyebrows, chuckling. “Well, impulsive indeed.”
“You think it’s a mistake?” Jensen frowned, worried. He liked the idea of having Jared in the house, and he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to change his mind, despite what Eric was about to say.
“Not necessarily.” The therapist nodded, smiling. “If he makes you feel safer then it’s a good thing. And you’re clever enough to be careful.”
“I’m not gonna do the same mistake twice, if that’s what you mean.”
“Good.” Eric’s smile widened and he tilted his head to the side. “Let’s talk about him.”
~~
A/N: So, we met Nathan and yeah, we had the confirmation he’s a bastard. Like, to the bone.
Also, Michael won’t be much of a threat between Jensen and Jared after this chapter, I guess. But we’ll see him again, promise.
What else? Next chapter will be updated sooner, I promise. I actually already have it ready, so yeah, you won’t have to wait too long.
Well, see you! And let me know what you think about this one!JM