(no subject)
I'm drinkin by myself again and updating the lj so's you's knows its all about trouble yea.
I haven't been myself lately, or flipsided I have been completely myself (old, that i got away from a bit). I keep blowing people off when they ask me to hang out or watever saying im sick, but really im only sick in the head. truth is im lost. awww its the age! i have no direction in life. im seriously considering just going into the service even though im not failing. I actually think ill earn my scholarship back that i lost due to severe assholiness last year (my bad sallie mae, love you slut) I don't know what it is with me and goals not getting along or anything, maybe something about how when i was in 10th grade i thought i would die before i actually had to consider actually doiong something with my life. being barefoot in the kitchen has more direction than i do now. i could get pregnant, drop out, and go on welfare, but i lack direction, not pride. I'd be happy like living on a farm and growing corn and tomatos with my dogs though.
i have been wasting days! whole days. since i quit my job i did school work for a week then slept for a day, then spent a day kinda high by myself, then went home for a day, then was tipsy for a day. by day i mean 24 hour block not necessarily start end as in the clock. In addition i was on a lion-in-the-zoo schedule sleeping more than half of the day (as much as 16 hours) When i have been awake ive been watching a lot of history channel and thinking how people can be so into some of the more assinine topic like acheological digs of roanoke teapots. Whoop. Sometimes i think the little guys in bowties are just sickly obsessed with the past like they get a boner thinking about the "real" pocahontas.
Yesterday, i missed calculus in my curriculum.
when i was driving back to school tonight i saw a car accident that was burning. I was so apathetic that i was pissed off cause it was causeing me traffic
then i got mad at myself for being apathetic. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE BURNING, JEN?
well now that its almost 10pm it time for me to......blow someone else off and watch media player for about 3 hours then sleep
soooo frustrating, snap out of it!
If i could be doing anything right now.....I'd be acting indifferent to the infectious beat with Sunni.
I haven't been myself lately, or flipsided I have been completely myself (old, that i got away from a bit). I keep blowing people off when they ask me to hang out or watever saying im sick, but really im only sick in the head. truth is im lost. awww its the age! i have no direction in life. im seriously considering just going into the service even though im not failing. I actually think ill earn my scholarship back that i lost due to severe assholiness last year (my bad sallie mae, love you slut) I don't know what it is with me and goals not getting along or anything, maybe something about how when i was in 10th grade i thought i would die before i actually had to consider actually doiong something with my life. being barefoot in the kitchen has more direction than i do now. i could get pregnant, drop out, and go on welfare, but i lack direction, not pride. I'd be happy like living on a farm and growing corn and tomatos with my dogs though.
i have been wasting days! whole days. since i quit my job i did school work for a week then slept for a day, then spent a day kinda high by myself, then went home for a day, then was tipsy for a day. by day i mean 24 hour block not necessarily start end as in the clock. In addition i was on a lion-in-the-zoo schedule sleeping more than half of the day (as much as 16 hours) When i have been awake ive been watching a lot of history channel and thinking how people can be so into some of the more assinine topic like acheological digs of roanoke teapots. Whoop. Sometimes i think the little guys in bowties are just sickly obsessed with the past like they get a boner thinking about the "real" pocahontas.
Yesterday, i missed calculus in my curriculum.
when i was driving back to school tonight i saw a car accident that was burning. I was so apathetic that i was pissed off cause it was causeing me traffic
then i got mad at myself for being apathetic. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE BURNING, JEN?
well now that its almost 10pm it time for me to......blow someone else off and watch media player for about 3 hours then sleep
soooo frustrating, snap out of it!
If i could be doing anything right now.....I'd be acting indifferent to the infectious beat with Sunni.