5438: Kangaroo Court
I have to make a confession, and I'm doing it here primarily because I've tried to extract myself from social media just beyond the point of keeping up with people specifically in my circle (read: C's mum and our handful of local friends, in case of get-together deets), the side-effect of backpedalling on that being dilution of the emphasis I (try to) put on the posts I *do* make in those places.
I also just can't stand people being contrary with me.
Thing is, I do want to be called out if I'm wrong, and I recognize the value in that... but I have a limited capacity for it (which can't help with my crippling inability to "make something of myself" art-wise). If I made a mistake, sure, I'll put on my grown-up pants and concede.
What gets me is when, no, you misunderstood the point I was making (or are trolling me, an Unfriend-worthy act in itself), here is why...
It's possible I am mistaken in my not being mistaken, but I don't like to stick around to find out, usually because the way my "error" has been pointed out gets my heckles up. To be fair, I endured a three-time back-and-forth with a Friend's Friend, and I don't know why I did, because it was clear that person had dug in and would not see my point, which just made me mad for having bothered. If that person followed up, I don't even know, because I muted the post by then.
So, to me, it feels like a defense mechanism, not engaging beyond a certain point. That's fine, but then, why am I engaging in the first place? Why do I poke if I don't want to be poked back? I forget that on occasion, and it's on me.
Now, to be fair, I do feel some things are important--for instance, I shared an article about how Tennessee instituted (or is planning?) a law giving Good Samaritans free rei(g?)n to break into a hot car if an animal is trapped inside. A Friend shared it, and (only) the share got a comment. I, ever curious about comments on shares, discovered Friend-of-Friend wanted an exception for air-conditioned cars.
Perhaps I have no imagination, having never owned a dog except in the sense a roommate had one, but I could not think of a single reason to risk the dog's welfare and basically said, "The exception is why is your dog alone in the car ever ever ever."
The FoF returned that, "So you would rather I cage my dog in my hot house while I run to the store for fifteen minutes for milk?"
Now, I've dealt with gaslighting, inadvertent and otherwise, so some of it may be I'm fighting my "I just haven't seen it their way" instinct to assert my own valid assessments. However, I still had to wonder (and stated so), "Why is your house so damn hot. Anyway, how would a stranger even know your air conditioning is on."
If there was a response, fuck that. Anyone who can't provide a comfortable environment for an animal--which is ALMOST NEVER A CAR (the exception being if a human being is also in the car and actively regulating the temperature)--really should not have an animal, especially as sole caretaker. Too late, I came up with, "So there's absolutely no way for someone else to get the milk for you, or take the dog in the meantime, or whatever is preventing you from NOT being an idiot. Also, if your air conditioning is on, your car's on, with the keys in the ignition, so someone's just gonna steal your car, which means the Good Samaritan law is the last thing you're gonna worry about."
I did still have to run the entire thing by C as a reality check, and he (as a prior dog owner) agreed with me that there's NO good reason to leave an animal in an unattended, HOT car, adding that the guy was prolly being argumentative for the sake of it. (If not, we should have reported the dude to the SPCA.)
...I don't think I have a conclusion. I get that there's no guaranteed balance between having an open mind and closing off known triggers. At the same time, am I really so awful for dishing it out and not taking it? I mean, at least I'm not "S" (who is on FB like 24/7 and a Fifty Shades of Grey apologist... UNFRIEND ME ALREADY, WOMAN).
I also just can't stand people being contrary with me.
Thing is, I do want to be called out if I'm wrong, and I recognize the value in that... but I have a limited capacity for it (which can't help with my crippling inability to "make something of myself" art-wise). If I made a mistake, sure, I'll put on my grown-up pants and concede.
What gets me is when, no, you misunderstood the point I was making (or are trolling me, an Unfriend-worthy act in itself), here is why...
It's possible I am mistaken in my not being mistaken, but I don't like to stick around to find out, usually because the way my "error" has been pointed out gets my heckles up. To be fair, I endured a three-time back-and-forth with a Friend's Friend, and I don't know why I did, because it was clear that person had dug in and would not see my point, which just made me mad for having bothered. If that person followed up, I don't even know, because I muted the post by then.
So, to me, it feels like a defense mechanism, not engaging beyond a certain point. That's fine, but then, why am I engaging in the first place? Why do I poke if I don't want to be poked back? I forget that on occasion, and it's on me.
Now, to be fair, I do feel some things are important--for instance, I shared an article about how Tennessee instituted (or is planning?) a law giving Good Samaritans free rei(g?)n to break into a hot car if an animal is trapped inside. A Friend shared it, and (only) the share got a comment. I, ever curious about comments on shares, discovered Friend-of-Friend wanted an exception for air-conditioned cars.
Perhaps I have no imagination, having never owned a dog except in the sense a roommate had one, but I could not think of a single reason to risk the dog's welfare and basically said, "The exception is why is your dog alone in the car ever ever ever."
The FoF returned that, "So you would rather I cage my dog in my hot house while I run to the store for fifteen minutes for milk?"
Now, I've dealt with gaslighting, inadvertent and otherwise, so some of it may be I'm fighting my "I just haven't seen it their way" instinct to assert my own valid assessments. However, I still had to wonder (and stated so), "Why is your house so damn hot. Anyway, how would a stranger even know your air conditioning is on."
If there was a response, fuck that. Anyone who can't provide a comfortable environment for an animal--which is ALMOST NEVER A CAR (the exception being if a human being is also in the car and actively regulating the temperature)--really should not have an animal, especially as sole caretaker. Too late, I came up with, "So there's absolutely no way for someone else to get the milk for you, or take the dog in the meantime, or whatever is preventing you from NOT being an idiot. Also, if your air conditioning is on, your car's on, with the keys in the ignition, so someone's just gonna steal your car, which means the Good Samaritan law is the last thing you're gonna worry about."
I did still have to run the entire thing by C as a reality check, and he (as a prior dog owner) agreed with me that there's NO good reason to leave an animal in an unattended, HOT car, adding that the guy was prolly being argumentative for the sake of it. (If not, we should have reported the dude to the SPCA.)
...I don't think I have a conclusion. I get that there's no guaranteed balance between having an open mind and closing off known triggers. At the same time, am I really so awful for dishing it out and not taking it? I mean, at least I'm not "S" (who is on FB like 24/7 and a Fifty Shades of Grey apologist... UNFRIEND ME ALREADY, WOMAN).