4507: Derezzed
I know I haven't been very talkative here of late [though am still more prolific than some], but things have been kinda complicated. I still haven't gotten paid =p but they TECHNICALLY have another week-ish before I have legal issues with them.
The thing that's kinda bugging me the most is, boiled down, the HR element of my job. I'm technically not supposed to be doing any as per my advertised job description, but I realize that flexibility is the key to being a valuable employee [or contractor], so it's not really something I would complain about other than when I'm frustrated with a particular task. To clarify, I'm most frustrated that I haven't gotten any formal HR training, yet I'm asked to do various HR-related tasks I'm not really prepared to do [I was supposed to arrange a termination that I'm surprised took this long but no one told the person being terminated because that was MY job...!?]. Okay, it's not like some of the things I'm being asked to do are particularly difficult, other than I tend to freeze up on the phone, but I still feel like I have to make things up as I go along.
Another thing is the high school aspect of it =p I won't get into specifics here, either, except that I keep finding out or being told things I shouldn't know [e.g. a co-worker's not-announced pregnancy, followed by miscarriage =( yeah...]--okay, sure, I tell you guys things here, but so anonymized that you would have to know everyone involved AND read my journal to figure out who's who [not difficult, but I *do* try to hide this journal from accidental discovery by mere acquaintances [though not so much as to flat-out restrict access]]. At work, they name names--Falco, because she's my boss and knowing what's going on in the workplace is her job, and anyone else because... they're indiscreet =/
To be fair, most of the gossip comes from Falco, and as her Assistant #2 that means I'm sort of obliged to find out. I do end up not really being able to look at others the same way as a result, which I feel is unfair, but I don't know how to rectify this. I mean, if I find out on accident that John Doe committed X offense almost twenty years ago, and corporate decides that's fine, he's done his time, how do I treat that without always thinking, "GAH YOU CRIMINAL" =( [petty theft is one thing, mass murder is another, of course]
Also, Miss Priss is getting to me. She reminds me so much of my mother in a placeholdery way ["grandmother figure" is more technically accurate] that it's difficult to remove that image, despite the obvious lack of relations. I could go on for hours about her shortcomings, but when I think of her as a person, it fills me with guilt. So she has this unfathomably irritating habit of rifling through papers and putting them back in entirely the wrong order [e.g. taking a stack of papers in alphabetical order, missing that they're alphabetized, and somehow putting them back ALMOST but not quite precisely in reverse-alphabetical order], stating she cannot find a page that I always place on the very bottom AS PER THE PRINTED NOTES stating that that page is always on the bottom [contact info]. Even Falco has mentioned several times that that page always goes on the bottom so it's easy to find in an emergency, but she apparently has only so much room to remember things that it's completely impossible for her to remember if she doesn't have her notes [and sometimes even if she DOES].
Yet when she mentioned an ex-employee who valued the company so much that she worked FOR FREE to help ensure its solvency, only to be rewarded with a cold-shouldered lay-off, and how of all the lay-offs she only cried over that person being let go, all of that didn't matter--all I felt was humanity =/ ...and some latent distrust ¬_¬ BUT N/M
So, for now, I have this general malaise stemming from a number of things, not the least of which is all of the above -_- I've been trying to draw but tend to lose interest quickly--I trashed three different [though vaguely similar] Tonu drawings for Tonu Day on Thursday, but I think it's a combination of I've just gotten too picky despite my daily sketch training and I'm enjoying NOT drawing too much... 6_6 Maybe some other things, too, but the best I've been able to get back onto a regular "DO THIS EVERY DAY!!!1" thing is I generally get myself to eat one apple and one yoghurt every day, plus a Slim-Fast first thing in the morning [because it's convenient protein-like substance to quell hunger more than a specific diet]. I guess that's fine, but it's no Couch-to-5K =p
The thing that's kinda bugging me the most is, boiled down, the HR element of my job. I'm technically not supposed to be doing any as per my advertised job description, but I realize that flexibility is the key to being a valuable employee [or contractor], so it's not really something I would complain about other than when I'm frustrated with a particular task. To clarify, I'm most frustrated that I haven't gotten any formal HR training, yet I'm asked to do various HR-related tasks I'm not really prepared to do [I was supposed to arrange a termination that I'm surprised took this long but no one told the person being terminated because that was MY job...!?]. Okay, it's not like some of the things I'm being asked to do are particularly difficult, other than I tend to freeze up on the phone, but I still feel like I have to make things up as I go along.
Another thing is the high school aspect of it =p I won't get into specifics here, either, except that I keep finding out or being told things I shouldn't know [e.g. a co-worker's not-announced pregnancy, followed by miscarriage =( yeah...]--okay, sure, I tell you guys things here, but so anonymized that you would have to know everyone involved AND read my journal to figure out who's who [not difficult, but I *do* try to hide this journal from accidental discovery by mere acquaintances [though not so much as to flat-out restrict access]]. At work, they name names--Falco, because she's my boss and knowing what's going on in the workplace is her job, and anyone else because... they're indiscreet =/
To be fair, most of the gossip comes from Falco, and as her Assistant #2 that means I'm sort of obliged to find out. I do end up not really being able to look at others the same way as a result, which I feel is unfair, but I don't know how to rectify this. I mean, if I find out on accident that John Doe committed X offense almost twenty years ago, and corporate decides that's fine, he's done his time, how do I treat that without always thinking, "GAH YOU CRIMINAL" =( [petty theft is one thing, mass murder is another, of course]
Also, Miss Priss is getting to me. She reminds me so much of my mother in a placeholdery way ["grandmother figure" is more technically accurate] that it's difficult to remove that image, despite the obvious lack of relations. I could go on for hours about her shortcomings, but when I think of her as a person, it fills me with guilt. So she has this unfathomably irritating habit of rifling through papers and putting them back in entirely the wrong order [e.g. taking a stack of papers in alphabetical order, missing that they're alphabetized, and somehow putting them back ALMOST but not quite precisely in reverse-alphabetical order], stating she cannot find a page that I always place on the very bottom AS PER THE PRINTED NOTES stating that that page is always on the bottom [contact info]. Even Falco has mentioned several times that that page always goes on the bottom so it's easy to find in an emergency, but she apparently has only so much room to remember things that it's completely impossible for her to remember if she doesn't have her notes [and sometimes even if she DOES].
Yet when she mentioned an ex-employee who valued the company so much that she worked FOR FREE to help ensure its solvency, only to be rewarded with a cold-shouldered lay-off, and how of all the lay-offs she only cried over that person being let go, all of that didn't matter--all I felt was humanity =/ ...and some latent distrust ¬_¬ BUT N/M
So, for now, I have this general malaise stemming from a number of things, not the least of which is all of the above -_- I've been trying to draw but tend to lose interest quickly--I trashed three different [though vaguely similar] Tonu drawings for Tonu Day on Thursday, but I think it's a combination of I've just gotten too picky despite my daily sketch training and I'm enjoying NOT drawing too much... 6_6 Maybe some other things, too, but the best I've been able to get back onto a regular "DO THIS EVERY DAY!!!1" thing is I generally get myself to eat one apple and one yoghurt every day, plus a Slim-Fast first thing in the morning [because it's convenient protein-like substance to quell hunger more than a specific diet]. I guess that's fine, but it's no Couch-to-5K =p