4134: Love Stinks
So, prompted by the usual stream of consciousness that led to mentioning how calikat linked to this article on FB [the link is on FB, not the article], the topic of The Ex came up, which was an interesting discussion. All the advice columns say that it's bad for a relationship to constantly bad-mouth [or even sweet-talk!] The Ex, but our discussion was purely factual, and I can honestly talk about any of my prior relationships now without any particular bad feelings. I mean, I do feel hurt by various specific things they said/did, but I also realize those things are what helped me see what a stable, healthy relationship is really like--how I learned, "This is what NOT to do."
[Don't ask about C. That's not my place to disclose.]
I have not heard the usual Anti-Valentine's Day-esque whining of late, which is either a good sign that the message has been gotten through [by said whiners finally hooking up and/or by finally realizing the futility of it] and/or I've successfully filtered such outlets out of the normal course of my interactions, which is great since I have less time these days to knock people upside the head for being so self-absorbed and caving into the corporate message written on the calendar. However, I can't help feeling that reflex every time this day rolls around [anti-anti-Valentine's Day--less "SHUT UP AND ENJOY IT" and more "It's just a day, occupy your brain with something more compelling than whatever negativity the day dictates to you"].
C says he's never felt a pull either way WRT Valentine's Day, while I've done the "holiday alone" many times and, at my lowest, felt disappointed/worried that A FRIEND who was going to show up and hang out hadn't by midday. High school was full of holidays completely unrecognized by my peers [particularly since I have a summer birthday and had an agrarian-calendar school year], so non-recognition just became something I expected, vs. having and holding totally unrealistic expectations for a day that would certainly let me down.
[Forgetting what day it is works, too, even with the months-in-advance commercialization of said day. Again, realistic expectations.]
For what it's worth, this article is pretty good, too. A key selection:But why are "nice guys" misogynists? In the book "The Gift of Fear," Gavin DeBecker defines "niceness" as a "strategy of social interaction" and not evidence of innate goodness. So what he is saying is that being "nice" merely means your behavior is not offensive but does not mean your motives are automatically pure or good.
I'm still inclined to do a memoir, as it were, but not out of vindictiveness so much as explanation. I don't think I'd ever do it under my real name, though--the details are important, but not the identities, even at their most [passive-]abusive.
BGN was excellent, despite a failure on all of our parts to realize 1. Cheesecake Factory 2. would be packed 3. on a Saturday night 4. at 8p. Instead, we took Zoë's Kitchen for a test drive and [3/4 of us] were rewarded with ENORMOUS COOKIES. ...sorry, forgot to photo cookies =( but here's my grubs ^_^
The main thing I took away was Casey's card baggie system:
left: retail box space consumed
right: actual bagged cards space consumed
I'd originally gotten the baggies I had for organizing the miscellaneous bits that normally come with these Eurogames, but when I realized the baggies fit the cards, OH SNAP D=
So that was my afternoon ¬_¬
[game results: Me, Citadels. Casey, pretty sure ALL the Dominion.]
Anyway, back to NOT getting any drawing done... -_-
[Don't ask about C. That's not my place to disclose.]
I have not heard the usual Anti-Valentine's Day-esque whining of late, which is either a good sign that the message has been gotten through [by said whiners finally hooking up and/or by finally realizing the futility of it] and/or I've successfully filtered such outlets out of the normal course of my interactions, which is great since I have less time these days to knock people upside the head for being so self-absorbed and caving into the corporate message written on the calendar. However, I can't help feeling that reflex every time this day rolls around [anti-anti-Valentine's Day--less "SHUT UP AND ENJOY IT" and more "It's just a day, occupy your brain with something more compelling than whatever negativity the day dictates to you"].
C says he's never felt a pull either way WRT Valentine's Day, while I've done the "holiday alone" many times and, at my lowest, felt disappointed/worried that A FRIEND who was going to show up and hang out hadn't by midday. High school was full of holidays completely unrecognized by my peers [particularly since I have a summer birthday and had an agrarian-calendar school year], so non-recognition just became something I expected, vs. having and holding totally unrealistic expectations for a day that would certainly let me down.
[Forgetting what day it is works, too, even with the months-in-advance commercialization of said day. Again, realistic expectations.]
For what it's worth, this article is pretty good, too. A key selection:But why are "nice guys" misogynists? In the book "The Gift of Fear," Gavin DeBecker defines "niceness" as a "strategy of social interaction" and not evidence of innate goodness. So what he is saying is that being "nice" merely means your behavior is not offensive but does not mean your motives are automatically pure or good.
I'm still inclined to do a memoir, as it were, but not out of vindictiveness so much as explanation. I don't think I'd ever do it under my real name, though--the details are important, but not the identities, even at their most [passive-]abusive.
BGN was excellent, despite a failure on all of our parts to realize 1. Cheesecake Factory 2. would be packed 3. on a Saturday night 4. at 8p. Instead, we took Zoë's Kitchen for a test drive and [3/4 of us] were rewarded with ENORMOUS COOKIES. ...sorry, forgot to photo cookies =( but here's my grubs ^_^
The main thing I took away was Casey's card baggie system:
left: retail box space consumed
right: actual bagged cards space consumed
I'd originally gotten the baggies I had for organizing the miscellaneous bits that normally come with these Eurogames, but when I realized the baggies fit the cards, OH SNAP D=
So that was my afternoon ¬_¬
[game results: Me, Citadels. Casey, pretty sure ALL the Dominion.]
Anyway, back to NOT getting any drawing done... -_-