3768: Slow
Oh, I had a follow-up, didn't I.
Well, the short of it is I felt a bit bitchy after the last post, understandably. At the heart of it, I think, is a general frustration about failure to learn [both in myself and in others] that is the prime reason I'm afraid of ever being a parent but is also what keeps me from being a good teacher as well. For instance, Mickey [the admitted slow-learner] has been trying to help me out at work, which I've been trying to politely brush off for two reasons.
1. Especially after Taffy got the boot for not utilizing her time well, I have been even more concerned about spending too much time doing Not My Job, i.e. the stuff I listed on my "job responsibilities" thingie as being time filler but is really just skimming off what PHB was supposed to do but didn't feel like doing [though Taffy had also asked me to do it on occasion]. So, if I have forty hours of My Work to do, ten of which I do on Monday [BY CHOICE, note], and Mickey wants to help me do two hours of it, that translates to two hours during the rest of the week that I have to fill the lost time.
On Mondays, I can't argue too strongly against, because even ten hours by choice can turn into thirteen not by choice if I'm not careful. The rest of the week, though, I get aggravated when she continues to ask to help, even though I have only maybe four hours of essential work. [I've been keeping nonessential My Work to the side in case, of which there is still much.]
2. When she takes--say--two hours of My Work, it ends up taking her four, as a result of not knowing how to do the task. [Yes, you can argue that giving her more X would make her more efficient, but this still goes back to the "why is she doing my work" bit.] Though she does credit cards every Monday, and I've explained it many times, she still hasn't figured out that we get Visa charges the most by far and ends up highlighting, say, FORTY Visa charges and three Mastercard charges, leaving the three AmEx unhighlighted, whereas I would highlight the MC/AmEx and leave Visas unhighlighted. The number of each is also listed at the end of the report, so I'm perplexed why she would spend so much time highlighting eight times as many things as she would need to do.
Also, payment types are entered by number: checks are 2, Visa is 3, MC is 4, AmEx is 5. For each charge, we enter--say--3 for Check# and Payment Type, because CCs aren't checks, so there's no check number to enter. When entering checks, she put in 2 for EVERY CHECK NUMBER... after saying, "Check number... 2"
-_-
I understand what being slow is like, which is why I can't say anything. However, my patience runs thin, not because "OMG WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID" but because I feel patronizing being the smart one, which is unfair. I hate the circumstances of life that mean we as humans have to regularly re-learn past mistakes, because we don't share experiences. I could raise a child to the best of my ability, instilling every decent value and doing nothing wrong. And s/he could still end up turning tricks on the street, addicted to drugs. It's completely out of my hands what the rest of the world would conspire to do to thwart my best intentions.
I remember in school, a classmate declined to be in AP English so he could be "the smart one" of "the stupid class." I was the opposite: the stupid one in the smart class. [More accurately, the lazy one, maybe, but point stands.] While I didn't like doing work, I still liked at least the idea of learning things, and I had flashes of brilliance that impress me to this day [woo ego] even if I couldn't sustain them at the time. I'm not sure whether I liked being the stupid one more, but at least I didn't feel like I was patronizing anyone by being stupid.
Come to think of it, I was the top of the French II class... not because I worked hard or was good at it or anything... =/ It just felt like wasted time.
So, anyway, my frustration with ignorance encompasses not only myself but also the rest of the world--look at Egypt, gaddamnit, and cry with me--and I can't help feeling angry when someone flaunts ignorance in such a manner. Hate directed at others is unfortunate, but I especially detest self-defeating hate of the type I'd been repudiating, because that's fixed by changing one person's mind.
Also, let's get the Chris-chans and Demonius Xs of the world off Youtube. [Though, 'spose I could stop watching Spike's Ustreams, also, but then I wouldn't see RuPaul's Drag Race...]
Well, the short of it is I felt a bit bitchy after the last post, understandably. At the heart of it, I think, is a general frustration about failure to learn [both in myself and in others] that is the prime reason I'm afraid of ever being a parent but is also what keeps me from being a good teacher as well. For instance, Mickey [the admitted slow-learner] has been trying to help me out at work, which I've been trying to politely brush off for two reasons.
1. Especially after Taffy got the boot for not utilizing her time well, I have been even more concerned about spending too much time doing Not My Job, i.e. the stuff I listed on my "job responsibilities" thingie as being time filler but is really just skimming off what PHB was supposed to do but didn't feel like doing [though Taffy had also asked me to do it on occasion]. So, if I have forty hours of My Work to do, ten of which I do on Monday [BY CHOICE, note], and Mickey wants to help me do two hours of it, that translates to two hours during the rest of the week that I have to fill the lost time.
On Mondays, I can't argue too strongly against, because even ten hours by choice can turn into thirteen not by choice if I'm not careful. The rest of the week, though, I get aggravated when she continues to ask to help, even though I have only maybe four hours of essential work. [I've been keeping nonessential My Work to the side in case, of which there is still much.]
2. When she takes--say--two hours of My Work, it ends up taking her four, as a result of not knowing how to do the task. [Yes, you can argue that giving her more X would make her more efficient, but this still goes back to the "why is she doing my work" bit.] Though she does credit cards every Monday, and I've explained it many times, she still hasn't figured out that we get Visa charges the most by far and ends up highlighting, say, FORTY Visa charges and three Mastercard charges, leaving the three AmEx unhighlighted, whereas I would highlight the MC/AmEx and leave Visas unhighlighted. The number of each is also listed at the end of the report, so I'm perplexed why she would spend so much time highlighting eight times as many things as she would need to do.
Also, payment types are entered by number: checks are 2, Visa is 3, MC is 4, AmEx is 5. For each charge, we enter--say--3 for Check# and Payment Type, because CCs aren't checks, so there's no check number to enter. When entering checks, she put in 2 for EVERY CHECK NUMBER... after saying, "Check number... 2"
-_-
I understand what being slow is like, which is why I can't say anything. However, my patience runs thin, not because "OMG WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID" but because I feel patronizing being the smart one, which is unfair. I hate the circumstances of life that mean we as humans have to regularly re-learn past mistakes, because we don't share experiences. I could raise a child to the best of my ability, instilling every decent value and doing nothing wrong. And s/he could still end up turning tricks on the street, addicted to drugs. It's completely out of my hands what the rest of the world would conspire to do to thwart my best intentions.
I remember in school, a classmate declined to be in AP English so he could be "the smart one" of "the stupid class." I was the opposite: the stupid one in the smart class. [More accurately, the lazy one, maybe, but point stands.] While I didn't like doing work, I still liked at least the idea of learning things, and I had flashes of brilliance that impress me to this day [woo ego] even if I couldn't sustain them at the time. I'm not sure whether I liked being the stupid one more, but at least I didn't feel like I was patronizing anyone by being stupid.
Come to think of it, I was the top of the French II class... not because I worked hard or was good at it or anything... =/ It just felt like wasted time.
So, anyway, my frustration with ignorance encompasses not only myself but also the rest of the world--look at Egypt, gaddamnit, and cry with me--and I can't help feeling angry when someone flaunts ignorance in such a manner. Hate directed at others is unfortunate, but I especially detest self-defeating hate of the type I'd been repudiating, because that's fixed by changing one person's mind.
Also, let's get the Chris-chans and Demonius Xs of the world off Youtube. [Though, 'spose I could stop watching Spike's Ustreams, also, but then I wouldn't see RuPaul's Drag Race...]