3335: Last Christmas
So Carolyn Hax has an annual traditional holiday chat where the final hour consists of sharing horrible holiday drama stories. It's great because, no matter how awful your holiday drama might be, someone has it worse AND is willing to tell about it... and if yours happens to be worse, you can always share the love D=
Of course, it seems like the one to beat is this bundle of joy from last year's Hootenanny of Holiday Horrors:Do Thanksgiving Shenanigans Count?: One year after a bunch of drama with my family, I went home to a friend's house for Thanksgiving instead.
Where I ran into the inevitable "all the dirty family secrets come spilling out" holiday. Turned out her parents were on the verge of divorce (we knew her father was cheating), and her mother chose that night to bring up the cheating again. Which led to him threatening her with a knife, her breaking a wine bottle and threatening him with the broken neck, an "I'll kill you like I killed my first husband!" with 2 adult daughters looking on going "WHAT FIRST HUSBAND?" and urging me to "YES GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS" -- which I was defeated in by not knowing the address I was at, and her father managing to get the phone out of my hand before they could tell it to me (I was the only one with a shot at this being taller than the father and having the b*lls to actually make the call).
I was certainly appreciative that my family's level of dysfunction didn't rise quite that high after that. Oh, and apparently the mother's 1st husband did exist and really was found in a closet dead by some method I can't remember almost 20 years later. Whether or not she did it is well -- who knows?
Carolyn Hax: My mental process: 1. is this for real; 2. If I lead with it, will it leave any room for anyone else?
o_O;
This year's is kind of disappointing by comparison [I tried! ...by, um, stealing someone else's story, but SHARE THE LOVE ::^_^::], but she says she's still digging through the backlog, so maybe there were was just too much to weed out. This one's close, tho =oLeesburg, Va.: Another Christmas horror tale...
I was about 9 or 10 and had just gotten the Barbie Townhouse for Christmas. It had a really bright orange roof.
That same year, an elderly Aunt had asked for a self-defense compressed gas key chain fob for her gift, and someone was insane enough to buy it for her.
Picture the family gathered in the living room after dinner. Kid playing, cat chasing ribbon, adults chatting, elderly aunt messing around with key fob... and PPPPSSSSSSTTTT!
Room fills with bluish haze. Several people are yelling. People begin rushing about flinging open windows (in Philly, the usual just-above-freezing Christmas rain). Kid in hysterics because orange roof now covered in blue spots. And a terrified, asthmatic cat hiding under a table wheezing.
Ah, Christmas memories! (And those stupid blue spots never did come off my dollhouse.)
Carolyn Hax: For anyone looking for ideas to stuff their hideous stockings.
Hope your holidays are merry! -_-;
Of course, it seems like the one to beat is this bundle of joy from last year's Hootenanny of Holiday Horrors:Do Thanksgiving Shenanigans Count?: One year after a bunch of drama with my family, I went home to a friend's house for Thanksgiving instead.
Where I ran into the inevitable "all the dirty family secrets come spilling out" holiday. Turned out her parents were on the verge of divorce (we knew her father was cheating), and her mother chose that night to bring up the cheating again. Which led to him threatening her with a knife, her breaking a wine bottle and threatening him with the broken neck, an "I'll kill you like I killed my first husband!" with 2 adult daughters looking on going "WHAT FIRST HUSBAND?" and urging me to "YES GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS" -- which I was defeated in by not knowing the address I was at, and her father managing to get the phone out of my hand before they could tell it to me (I was the only one with a shot at this being taller than the father and having the b*lls to actually make the call).
I was certainly appreciative that my family's level of dysfunction didn't rise quite that high after that. Oh, and apparently the mother's 1st husband did exist and really was found in a closet dead by some method I can't remember almost 20 years later. Whether or not she did it is well -- who knows?
Carolyn Hax: My mental process: 1. is this for real; 2. If I lead with it, will it leave any room for anyone else?
o_O;
This year's is kind of disappointing by comparison [I tried! ...by, um, stealing someone else's story, but SHARE THE LOVE ::^_^::], but she says she's still digging through the backlog, so maybe there were was just too much to weed out. This one's close, tho =oLeesburg, Va.: Another Christmas horror tale...
I was about 9 or 10 and had just gotten the Barbie Townhouse for Christmas. It had a really bright orange roof.
That same year, an elderly Aunt had asked for a self-defense compressed gas key chain fob for her gift, and someone was insane enough to buy it for her.
Picture the family gathered in the living room after dinner. Kid playing, cat chasing ribbon, adults chatting, elderly aunt messing around with key fob... and PPPPSSSSSSTTTT!
Room fills with bluish haze. Several people are yelling. People begin rushing about flinging open windows (in Philly, the usual just-above-freezing Christmas rain). Kid in hysterics because orange roof now covered in blue spots. And a terrified, asthmatic cat hiding under a table wheezing.
Ah, Christmas memories! (And those stupid blue spots never did come off my dollhouse.)
Carolyn Hax: For anyone looking for ideas to stuff their hideous stockings.
Hope your holidays are merry! -_-;