3239: Heavy
I feel like a lot of what I want to say during the week gets pushed back for what reason. I even have a crapton of photos I took ages ago that I never posted for what reason. It's just kind of, I don't feel like it. I've had more weekend this weekend, and all I wanted to do was fuck off.
At least I got [one of] my excerpts off Mustang, before some irreversible glitch eats it all."Okay, Miss O'Malley," he relented, "you're right. It's not my business who you date or how they treat you. As a teacher, I can only offer advice that you are free to ignore. However, please allow me at least that courtesy before you go. Is that alright?"
More out of curiosity than agreement, she nodded.
Here, he took out a sheet of paper and drew a small rectangle with a dollar sign in it. "This is a dollar note... ah, bill. It's a quantitative measure, something with an obvious value to everyone. Relationships aren't easily measured in numbers or figures, but for now, pretend that you could. This is everything you've experienced since you were born." Here, he drew a large circle away from the dollar. "You haven't known love, so when this dollar enters the picture," -he drew an arrow from the dollar leading into the circle- "you don't truly know what it's worth, because you have no frame of reference. It could be hundreds of dollars - or it could be one.
"This dollar represents the first love you experience. You know it's worth something, because you see other people with money and how happy they seem to be, but is that dollar as valuable to you as it could be? Accepting the dollar comes with certain downsides, such as having to work long hours washing dishes, babysitting, or doing - other things that would make you uncomfortable if you had to do them for free.
"But say you take it because you're afraid you won't ever have money again. That's very short-sighted of you; you're only, what, sixteen? You haven't experienced enough of life to see how many possibilities there are." Here, he drew a pile of treasure just outside the circle. "One day, there could be a fantastic pile of gold waiting for you, just around the corner, and you just don't see it because you're so focused on what you do know, that measly dollar that is someone who doesn't deserve to be called yours-who takes advantage of you because he knows you're afraid of being alone."
"Are you trying to say I don't know what love is?" she snapped.
"I suppose in a way, yes, but more that you no doubt hope what you have is the right thing for you. Here's the thing: Have you gotten perfect grades in all your classes? Never gotten a single question wrong?" He gave her an expectant look.
"...no," she admitted after some hesitation.
"So I just find it strange-understandable, but strange-that people leap so fully into their first loves and defend them even when they're a complete failure. I mean the relationship, not the loves. Yes, it's a wonderful feeling being in love, but love has a way of making people hesitant to think about who they love. No one wants to be wrong, of course, but it's so much harder admitting that loving a person could be wrong. It's okay not to have it work on the first try, even if it's hard to see it that way. Yet so many young people-girls and boys-rush to spend 'the rest of their lives' with the first person they like, on the basis of looks and going on one or two dates.
"It's easy to like something and want to experience that joy forever, but consider: Do you still like everything you liked as a young child? Playing in the sandbox or having a tea party with dolls-or racing toy cars, maybe? Our tastes change as we get older, and people change most of all. Though it's possible, who you like in high school is almost guaranteed not to be who you like when you're sixty. Looks are an especially poor judge of marriage-worthiness, because no one is going to look the same at age sixty as at age sixteen. Tell me, if your - boyfriend was in an accident, or something happened to make him look uglier, would you still feel the same way about him? Would you still want to be with him for the rest of your life?"
She didn't answer.
He gave her a weak smirk. This time he drew a large circle encompassing all the other objects on the page. "As you get older, you'll experience more that life has to offer. It may be that you find all the other dollars in the world are fakes, and gold becomes so commonplace as to be worthless. In that case, you will know for certain that your dollar is precious. It's just pre-emptive to say that it is unless you live a little first. Your life will be so much fuller if you go out and see what life has to offer instead of sticking only to what you know, or making lifelong judgements based on only a little bit of knowledge."
She frowned. "I still find it - presumptuous to tell me how I feel when you admit to being single."
"I've spared you my life story, Miss O'Malley, because I didn't feel it relevant to tell you how I know what I know. Every person is unique, yes, but we are still similar enough. We want to be happy. We don't want to be sad. We want to feel safe, not vulnerable. The circumstances that make us feel that way are different, but the universal themes are still there.
"I'll say this: The biggest winners in life, the ones who succeed and achieve all their wildest dreams, are the ones who aren't afraid to take risks-or, at least, thought-out risks rather than pure gambles. Fear of the unknown will only hold you back, especially if your experiences are limited. When you dump someone who only treats you badly, you run the risk of never finding anyone again-true-but the reward is that much greater when you find someone who is a million times better than the person you dumped. There are worse things than being alone, and being in an abusive relationship is one of them. If you're alone, that just means you're free to meet your soulmate. If you're married to someone who's less than ideal, you've made it that much harder to be with your true love if that love happens to be someone else."
The latest volume of Papillon had some classic advice in the letters section, how counselors are divided on the matter of sharing one's dreams:
The latter is more what I should be doing--just doing what I want and letting it be a happy surprise IF I actually finish something, rather than constantly breaking my own promises =/ I mean, I'll obviously have to ask if I need an outside opinion [the downside to secrecy], but I'll stop promising I'll do X and then doing Y, like I have been all weekend 9_9 especially when I keep getting new ideas for new shit =p
The roomie is out, incidentally, as are three bratty aminals... wow, it echoes in here now o_o; Need to readjust to the concept of leaving doors open...
At least I got [one of] my excerpts off Mustang, before some irreversible glitch eats it all."Okay, Miss O'Malley," he relented, "you're right. It's not my business who you date or how they treat you. As a teacher, I can only offer advice that you are free to ignore. However, please allow me at least that courtesy before you go. Is that alright?"
More out of curiosity than agreement, she nodded.
Here, he took out a sheet of paper and drew a small rectangle with a dollar sign in it. "This is a dollar note... ah, bill. It's a quantitative measure, something with an obvious value to everyone. Relationships aren't easily measured in numbers or figures, but for now, pretend that you could. This is everything you've experienced since you were born." Here, he drew a large circle away from the dollar. "You haven't known love, so when this dollar enters the picture," -he drew an arrow from the dollar leading into the circle- "you don't truly know what it's worth, because you have no frame of reference. It could be hundreds of dollars - or it could be one.
"This dollar represents the first love you experience. You know it's worth something, because you see other people with money and how happy they seem to be, but is that dollar as valuable to you as it could be? Accepting the dollar comes with certain downsides, such as having to work long hours washing dishes, babysitting, or doing - other things that would make you uncomfortable if you had to do them for free.
"But say you take it because you're afraid you won't ever have money again. That's very short-sighted of you; you're only, what, sixteen? You haven't experienced enough of life to see how many possibilities there are." Here, he drew a pile of treasure just outside the circle. "One day, there could be a fantastic pile of gold waiting for you, just around the corner, and you just don't see it because you're so focused on what you do know, that measly dollar that is someone who doesn't deserve to be called yours-who takes advantage of you because he knows you're afraid of being alone."
"Are you trying to say I don't know what love is?" she snapped.
"I suppose in a way, yes, but more that you no doubt hope what you have is the right thing for you. Here's the thing: Have you gotten perfect grades in all your classes? Never gotten a single question wrong?" He gave her an expectant look.
"...no," she admitted after some hesitation.
"So I just find it strange-understandable, but strange-that people leap so fully into their first loves and defend them even when they're a complete failure. I mean the relationship, not the loves. Yes, it's a wonderful feeling being in love, but love has a way of making people hesitant to think about who they love. No one wants to be wrong, of course, but it's so much harder admitting that loving a person could be wrong. It's okay not to have it work on the first try, even if it's hard to see it that way. Yet so many young people-girls and boys-rush to spend 'the rest of their lives' with the first person they like, on the basis of looks and going on one or two dates.
"It's easy to like something and want to experience that joy forever, but consider: Do you still like everything you liked as a young child? Playing in the sandbox or having a tea party with dolls-or racing toy cars, maybe? Our tastes change as we get older, and people change most of all. Though it's possible, who you like in high school is almost guaranteed not to be who you like when you're sixty. Looks are an especially poor judge of marriage-worthiness, because no one is going to look the same at age sixty as at age sixteen. Tell me, if your - boyfriend was in an accident, or something happened to make him look uglier, would you still feel the same way about him? Would you still want to be with him for the rest of your life?"
She didn't answer.
He gave her a weak smirk. This time he drew a large circle encompassing all the other objects on the page. "As you get older, you'll experience more that life has to offer. It may be that you find all the other dollars in the world are fakes, and gold becomes so commonplace as to be worthless. In that case, you will know for certain that your dollar is precious. It's just pre-emptive to say that it is unless you live a little first. Your life will be so much fuller if you go out and see what life has to offer instead of sticking only to what you know, or making lifelong judgements based on only a little bit of knowledge."
She frowned. "I still find it - presumptuous to tell me how I feel when you admit to being single."
"I've spared you my life story, Miss O'Malley, because I didn't feel it relevant to tell you how I know what I know. Every person is unique, yes, but we are still similar enough. We want to be happy. We don't want to be sad. We want to feel safe, not vulnerable. The circumstances that make us feel that way are different, but the universal themes are still there.
"I'll say this: The biggest winners in life, the ones who succeed and achieve all their wildest dreams, are the ones who aren't afraid to take risks-or, at least, thought-out risks rather than pure gambles. Fear of the unknown will only hold you back, especially if your experiences are limited. When you dump someone who only treats you badly, you run the risk of never finding anyone again-true-but the reward is that much greater when you find someone who is a million times better than the person you dumped. There are worse things than being alone, and being in an abusive relationship is one of them. If you're alone, that just means you're free to meet your soulmate. If you're married to someone who's less than ideal, you've made it that much harder to be with your true love if that love happens to be someone else."
The latest volume of Papillon had some classic advice in the letters section, how counselors are divided on the matter of sharing one's dreams:
- Share your dreams! That way, your friends can cheer you on and give you a hand if you need it.
- Keep your dreams secret! That way, you won't be letting others down or succumbing to pressure if you happen to get off track.
The latter is more what I should be doing--just doing what I want and letting it be a happy surprise IF I actually finish something, rather than constantly breaking my own promises =/ I mean, I'll obviously have to ask if I need an outside opinion [the downside to secrecy], but I'll stop promising I'll do X and then doing Y, like I have been all weekend 9_9 especially when I keep getting new ideas for new shit =p
The roomie is out, incidentally, as are three bratty aminals... wow, it echoes in here now o_o; Need to readjust to the concept of leaving doors open...