Willow's Valentines BtVS Part 6 Valentine from Oz 6/8
TITLE: Willow's Valentines Revised
AUTHOR: Jen4850
SPOILER WARNING: "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered"
RATING: PG-13, Mild swearing, Discussion of sex but no action, No
violence
CONTENT WARNING: None
SUMMARY: Willow realizes she may have feelings for Giles rather than
Xander.
DISCLAIMER: These characters are the property of Joss Whedon,
The WB, and Mutant Enemy. The story is mine.
Set immediately after "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered", the
Valentine's episode.
Part 6 Valentine from Oz
At school the next morning Willow sat in the lounge. She wasn't ready to hang with Xander and Buffy in the courtyard. She definitely wasn't ready to face Giles in the library, especially as she had neglected to bring his jacket back. She sat staring at her can of Coke. If she had seen Oz approaching she would have run. When he put his arm around her she flinched before she realized who it was. She couldn't turn her face to him. He ended up kissing her on the cheek although he had been aiming for her lips.
"Hi, how are you this fine morning" he asked. "Did I miss any doings last night?"
"Nothing really, I didn't feel good at school so Giles took me home. Then I didn't feel good at the Bronze so Cordelia took me home."
"Whoa, are you okay?"
"Physically I'm fine." She tried to give him a bright smile but ended up with a grimace.
"How's your mental health, then?"
"Well, the good news is, I'm over Xander." She managed a weak smile.
"That's great, but I sense bad news."
Giles walked into the lounge area from the direction of the library. Barely pausing at the entrance he made his way over to Willow and Oz. "Willow may I speak to you?"
"Sure" she said slowly, looking at him with trepidation.
"Privately?" Giles was almost sarcastically.
"Oh, okay." She got up and they went to the other side of the lounge. I wonder what I did to deserve that tone of voice, she thought.
"I just needed to be sure you were all right after yesterday." He was speaking normally now although a bit quickly.
"I'm still a little shaky."
"You shouldn't be here. Let me take you home again." He put his arm around her.
"No ... I'm fine, really."
"Are you certain?"
"I'm sure."
"Promise me you'll let me know if you need a ride, or anything else."
"I promise."
"Right then, take care of yourself." Giles pulled his arm away and left abruptly.
Willow took a deep breath and made her way back over to Oz. She sat down and looked at him sadly. "I told you I'm over Xander. But the bad news..." She took another deep breath and tried again. "The bad news is ...."
"The bad news is Giles," Oz finished for her.
"How'd you ...?"
"I'm real sensitive to pheromones and territoriality right now."
"Oh, Oz, I don't know how I feel about him. I don't know how he feels about me. I can't believe I'm talking to you about this. I'm sorry. I'll shut up now."
"No, talk to me" he cajoled. Willow shook her head. "Come on, welcome to the Hellmouth, where you can discuss anything with your werewolf boyfriend."
"You're not mad?"
"Look, I think we can be great together. We can have a lot of fun together. I never thought you were in love with me."
"I'm sorry."
"Get over being sorry, Willow. You accepted me when you found out I was Teen Wolf. I accept you no matter whom you love."
"I don't know if I'm in love with Giles. I mean, I know I fell for Xander to repress what I felt for Giles, but maybe that wasn't love."
"What was it then?"
"Lust?" She whispered. "Oz, when I first saw Giles it like nothing I'd ever felt before. I couldn't think of anything but his body from the first glimpse I had of him. I had to talk to him, to be close to him. I wanted to taste him. I loved the British professorial look he has. With all that tweed I thought he'd smell like pipe tobacco but he smelled terrific, spicy and musky."
"You can remember how he smelled?"
"Yeah. I was entranced."
"So what happened? Why hasn't this come up before? If you were so crazy for Giles what was this thing with Xander?"
"Xander was just a way of hiding my feelings for Giles. Xander was so safe, so unthreatening, so unobtainable."
"Unobtainable? Is that what you want in a guy?"
"I have a strong perfectionist streak. Maybe Giles is just another unobtainable man."
"Then why use Xander to repress your feelings for Giles?"
"That's true. Xander has always been unobtainable, and I've always been a perfectionist. If all I wanted was to avoid a relationship, Giles didn't need to have anything to do with it."
"So you're saying you're still being unrealistic? I mean how well do you really know Giles?"
"Pretty well I think. I seem to spend all my spare time in the library even when there's no crisis."
"No offense but you're a geek."
"I'm a 'computer geek.' Normally I'd be working on my PC at home or I'd be in the computer lab."
"And the problem with the computer lab is?"
"No Giles. I love talking to him. Until I met you he was the only one I could talk to about things like music, and art, and ideas. And how I felt about Xander."
"Believe me, I'm sorry to say this, but that sounds like us, and that sounds like friendship not love."
"I guess I trusted him."
"You felt safe with him."
"Safe with Giles? No, there was always an edge. If I got too close to him I think things would snap."
"What things?"
"My inhibitions?" She mused. "His? Oh God, what am I saying? Just yesterday morning I was convinced I was in love with Xander"
"So why were you in love with Xander? He doesn't love you. He'll probably never love you. Is he like your ideal guy for some reason the rest of us are missing? What's your ideal?"
"My ideal?"
"From a purely intellectual standpoint."
"Oh that's easy. Very intelligent, musical, possibly older, fair coloring, obviously not ugly but not movie star looks, maybe a bit other worldly. She paused, then decided to bare it all. "Darn, this is embarrassing, I used to dream he'd be British."
"I'm out on that count, in on all the others. Giles has it covered." Oz had been making notes of what Willow was saying.
"Musical?"
"You haven't heard him sing?" Willow shook her head. "And Xander qualifies on which points?"
"Uh," Willow checks Oz's notes, "doesn't look like a movie star?"
"So you fell for Xander."
"Which was fine until Buffy got here. It seemed like the crazier and more dangerous things got, the more I clung to Xander, and the more he wanted her. Of course with Buffy around I got to see Giles, but I just treated him like a friend."
"So you still liked Xander over Giles?"
"There was no over. I didn't even consider Giles."
"Come on, there must have been something. What did you really think of Giles then?"
"Well, like, all the girls thought he was incredibly sexy for such an old guy."
"All the girls?"
"Well they must have. I did."
"You picked Xander, who's never looked at you twice, over a guy you called incredibly sexy. Sounds like real self-help territory. You know what the shrinks would say."
"Yeah, they'd say, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change, clinging to old ways, fear of intimacy."
"And would they be right?"
"There's sure no fear of intimacy with Xander because Xander wouldn't get intimate with me in a million years."
Oz finally noticed a bell ringing. "Look, it’s time for class. Should we skip out?"
"No, I don't think I can talk about this anymore."
"You know where to find me if you need to talk more? If it's before sunset anyway."
"Thanks, Oz, you're a true friend." Willow hugged him.
He thought as he hugged her back and gave her a small kiss on the nose, then watched her walk out of the lounge. "Yeah, a true friend."
AUTHOR: Jen4850
SPOILER WARNING: "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered"
RATING: PG-13, Mild swearing, Discussion of sex but no action, No
violence
CONTENT WARNING: None
SUMMARY: Willow realizes she may have feelings for Giles rather than
Xander.
DISCLAIMER: These characters are the property of Joss Whedon,
The WB, and Mutant Enemy. The story is mine.
Set immediately after "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered", the
Valentine's episode.
Part 6 Valentine from Oz
At school the next morning Willow sat in the lounge. She wasn't ready to hang with Xander and Buffy in the courtyard. She definitely wasn't ready to face Giles in the library, especially as she had neglected to bring his jacket back. She sat staring at her can of Coke. If she had seen Oz approaching she would have run. When he put his arm around her she flinched before she realized who it was. She couldn't turn her face to him. He ended up kissing her on the cheek although he had been aiming for her lips.
"Hi, how are you this fine morning" he asked. "Did I miss any doings last night?"
"Nothing really, I didn't feel good at school so Giles took me home. Then I didn't feel good at the Bronze so Cordelia took me home."
"Whoa, are you okay?"
"Physically I'm fine." She tried to give him a bright smile but ended up with a grimace.
"How's your mental health, then?"
"Well, the good news is, I'm over Xander." She managed a weak smile.
"That's great, but I sense bad news."
Giles walked into the lounge area from the direction of the library. Barely pausing at the entrance he made his way over to Willow and Oz. "Willow may I speak to you?"
"Sure" she said slowly, looking at him with trepidation.
"Privately?" Giles was almost sarcastically.
"Oh, okay." She got up and they went to the other side of the lounge. I wonder what I did to deserve that tone of voice, she thought.
"I just needed to be sure you were all right after yesterday." He was speaking normally now although a bit quickly.
"I'm still a little shaky."
"You shouldn't be here. Let me take you home again." He put his arm around her.
"No ... I'm fine, really."
"Are you certain?"
"I'm sure."
"Promise me you'll let me know if you need a ride, or anything else."
"I promise."
"Right then, take care of yourself." Giles pulled his arm away and left abruptly.
Willow took a deep breath and made her way back over to Oz. She sat down and looked at him sadly. "I told you I'm over Xander. But the bad news..." She took another deep breath and tried again. "The bad news is ...."
"The bad news is Giles," Oz finished for her.
"How'd you ...?"
"I'm real sensitive to pheromones and territoriality right now."
"Oh, Oz, I don't know how I feel about him. I don't know how he feels about me. I can't believe I'm talking to you about this. I'm sorry. I'll shut up now."
"No, talk to me" he cajoled. Willow shook her head. "Come on, welcome to the Hellmouth, where you can discuss anything with your werewolf boyfriend."
"You're not mad?"
"Look, I think we can be great together. We can have a lot of fun together. I never thought you were in love with me."
"I'm sorry."
"Get over being sorry, Willow. You accepted me when you found out I was Teen Wolf. I accept you no matter whom you love."
"I don't know if I'm in love with Giles. I mean, I know I fell for Xander to repress what I felt for Giles, but maybe that wasn't love."
"What was it then?"
"Lust?" She whispered. "Oz, when I first saw Giles it like nothing I'd ever felt before. I couldn't think of anything but his body from the first glimpse I had of him. I had to talk to him, to be close to him. I wanted to taste him. I loved the British professorial look he has. With all that tweed I thought he'd smell like pipe tobacco but he smelled terrific, spicy and musky."
"You can remember how he smelled?"
"Yeah. I was entranced."
"So what happened? Why hasn't this come up before? If you were so crazy for Giles what was this thing with Xander?"
"Xander was just a way of hiding my feelings for Giles. Xander was so safe, so unthreatening, so unobtainable."
"Unobtainable? Is that what you want in a guy?"
"I have a strong perfectionist streak. Maybe Giles is just another unobtainable man."
"Then why use Xander to repress your feelings for Giles?"
"That's true. Xander has always been unobtainable, and I've always been a perfectionist. If all I wanted was to avoid a relationship, Giles didn't need to have anything to do with it."
"So you're saying you're still being unrealistic? I mean how well do you really know Giles?"
"Pretty well I think. I seem to spend all my spare time in the library even when there's no crisis."
"No offense but you're a geek."
"I'm a 'computer geek.' Normally I'd be working on my PC at home or I'd be in the computer lab."
"And the problem with the computer lab is?"
"No Giles. I love talking to him. Until I met you he was the only one I could talk to about things like music, and art, and ideas. And how I felt about Xander."
"Believe me, I'm sorry to say this, but that sounds like us, and that sounds like friendship not love."
"I guess I trusted him."
"You felt safe with him."
"Safe with Giles? No, there was always an edge. If I got too close to him I think things would snap."
"What things?"
"My inhibitions?" She mused. "His? Oh God, what am I saying? Just yesterday morning I was convinced I was in love with Xander"
"So why were you in love with Xander? He doesn't love you. He'll probably never love you. Is he like your ideal guy for some reason the rest of us are missing? What's your ideal?"
"My ideal?"
"From a purely intellectual standpoint."
"Oh that's easy. Very intelligent, musical, possibly older, fair coloring, obviously not ugly but not movie star looks, maybe a bit other worldly. She paused, then decided to bare it all. "Darn, this is embarrassing, I used to dream he'd be British."
"I'm out on that count, in on all the others. Giles has it covered." Oz had been making notes of what Willow was saying.
"Musical?"
"You haven't heard him sing?" Willow shook her head. "And Xander qualifies on which points?"
"Uh," Willow checks Oz's notes, "doesn't look like a movie star?"
"So you fell for Xander."
"Which was fine until Buffy got here. It seemed like the crazier and more dangerous things got, the more I clung to Xander, and the more he wanted her. Of course with Buffy around I got to see Giles, but I just treated him like a friend."
"So you still liked Xander over Giles?"
"There was no over. I didn't even consider Giles."
"Come on, there must have been something. What did you really think of Giles then?"
"Well, like, all the girls thought he was incredibly sexy for such an old guy."
"All the girls?"
"Well they must have. I did."
"You picked Xander, who's never looked at you twice, over a guy you called incredibly sexy. Sounds like real self-help territory. You know what the shrinks would say."
"Yeah, they'd say, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change, clinging to old ways, fear of intimacy."
"And would they be right?"
"There's sure no fear of intimacy with Xander because Xander wouldn't get intimate with me in a million years."
Oz finally noticed a bell ringing. "Look, it’s time for class. Should we skip out?"
"No, I don't think I can talk about this anymore."
"You know where to find me if you need to talk more? If it's before sunset anyway."
"Thanks, Oz, you're a true friend." Willow hugged him.
He thought as he hugged her back and gave her a small kiss on the nose, then watched her walk out of the lounge. "Yeah, a true friend."