Make the Yuletide gay.
I keep getting spam from "WEEWEEGROW". =(
Aaanyway, even though I don't really like indulging in seasonal icon things or have characters celebrate holidays that we do (unless they did in canon), but... well. Yeah. *points to icon*
The icon also kind of inspired this holiday... parody thing... Dial-up friendly it is not. ...if I'm all wrong about this mistletoe stuff, STFU I DO NOT CARE. But I actually did some reasearch on it, so I'm hoping I'm not. >_>
*insert intro here. Jingle bells, Midgar smells, Fort Condor laid an egg... and so on*
Sephiroth sends Cloud off into the air on his merry way, then goes to join him in the general area, because Christmas is about togetherness and peace and love and all that.
...I mean, presents. General consensus is, Christmas is about presents. Right.
IT'S THE CRAZY EYES AGH.
Cloud thinks this lesson is boring and that Sephiroth needs to shut up, get naked put on some swaddling clothes, and go lay in a manger. Two of the three wise men left standing are coming for him soon.
zOMG CAPTAIN PLANET Suddenly Jack Frost nips at their noses, making Sephiroth's spirits bright.
Only if there's a lot of nudity involved.
...and Sephiroth goes in for his kiss (and gets his Santa on. Yeah, to tell you the truth, I had no idea to introduce the Santa thing, STFU).
Denzel's brain hurts o noez. That's what happens when little boys misbehave, Denzel. Sephy Claus watches you all year 'round since you live with Cloud and all!
LOLOL kids r dum OF COURSE SANTA'S REAL.
*insert flashes of the Virgin Mary whee!~*
FIGHT SCENE The two head up a gratuitous display of glad tidings and good will towards hot men.
Sephiroth: "'Don we now our gay apparel'..."
Cloud: "Aren't you already wearing yours?"
They go around Midgar, fighting 'til acquiescence a-wassailing among the sky leaves so green.
Sephiroth then bids Cloud adieu so he can go out to the mall (which is uber fucking mobbed). There he has a great time getting pushed and shoved around by hefty soccer moms as he looks for the best gift for Cloud. When he finds nothing, he remembers that he is Sephy Claus and has more important duties -- not to mention a magical sack full of CHRISTMAS-Y GOODNESS -- waiting at home.
"You didn't send Mother a card."
Sephiroth goes on to trim the tree, and on his own whim, Cloud trims it even more. That doesn't make Sephiroth a happy camper -- fucking trees went up 60 gil this year, and Cloud just hacked off one whole damn side. Cloud's defense is, they could always make the flat side face the wall. Smart people know this must be done anyway.
Cloud isn't surprised; Sephiroth usually did give some lousy gifts. He's just relieved that Sephiroth doesn't bake the seasonal fruitcake anymore after that fiasco seven years ago -- it took an entire nine days for Zack to regain consciousness, so it's only natural that Sephiroth isn't too keen on baking now.
...unfortunately, Sephiroth found the despair in a bargain bin, so Cloud can't bring it back if he doesn't like it, not even for store credit. Even so, Sephiroth has big plans to wrap it prettily, in a big box drowning in ribbon to make it look like something expensive -- and besides, it's the thought that counts (but to be honest, he only chose to give Cloud despair because it was close to the register that had the shortest line).
Disappointed that Sephiroth is a bit of a Scrooge (and told him his gift, the moron), Cloud tries to fix him with a good dose of holiday cheer by flashing rainbow sparks and stringing up spastic chaser lights -- the kind that plays MUSIC. (Yes, he's a Scrooge even when he's going to be Santa. It doesn't make sense, but who cares? This whole damn thing makes no sense, it's just a bunch of random references to Christmas traditions.)
They fight, fight, fight, fight join together to pass out the presents, drinking eggnog all the while! Spending time with loved ones! Happy things yay!
Sephiroth lights Midgar on fire the fourth candle on the Advent wreath and sits by the open fire, roasting chestnuts and sipping hot cocoa with marshmallows in it, dreaming of a white Christmas. Then it snows by the sheer power of Sephiroth's will cuz he so kewlies lol.
Taking Cloud's hand, Sephiroth brings him out to go walkin' in a winter wonderland. Sephiroth keeps his eyes peeled for Parson Brown (who he plans on killing if he doesn't ask them the question, because that would mean he doesn't respect equal rights for gay marriage and OMG deserves to be smote!!1). To stop this very badfic-sounding digression, suffice it to say that they don't find him, so they go home.
*stabbity* With catlike elegance and mad OMG-I-NO-HOW-2-USE-MAH-SWORRRDDD!!!1 skill, Sephiroth carves the turkey that Cloud spent five hours cooking. Yeah, before Christmas. This is happening on the 23rd. It's for practice, since Cloud wants things to go perfect; it's his first year hosting the festivities.
What an awesome question.
Cloud knows that would make it, like, the best Christmas EVER, but suddenly he remembers all the people he still needs to shop for.
What Sephiroth said also upset him a bit.
Unlike Sephiroth, Cloud's had the pleasure of reading A Visit from St. Nicholas (to Denzel and Marlene), you see...
He moves on to deck the halls with Omnislash Version 5 boughs of holly, then hangs the stockings by the chimney with care, in hopes that Saint Sefiros soon would be there.
...which would be breaking and entering. ShinRa kind of sucks at upholding the peace anyway, so it's not like he'd get punished for it. I always make Cloud rob that little kid in Sector 5 out of his measly five gil (because I'm mean) and he hasn't gotten in trouble for it yet -- that's gotta be saying something.
Me too.
Radiant beams from Thy holy face, with dawn of redeeming grace. Sing, choirs of angels, sing in exultation; O sing, all ye citizens of heaven above! [/doesn't really know her carols]
I thought he already was?
With those final words, visions of sugarplums dance in his head as Sephiroth slee~eeps in heavenly pe~eace.
The end.
...what the hell just happened? I think they became a couple or something halfway through, but other than that... no clue.
Aaanyway, even though I don't really like indulging in seasonal icon things or have characters celebrate holidays that we do (unless they did in canon), but... well. Yeah. *points to icon*
The icon also kind of inspired this holiday... parody thing... Dial-up friendly it is not. ...if I'm all wrong about this mistletoe stuff, STFU I DO NOT CARE. But I actually did some reasearch on it, so I'm hoping I'm not. >_>
*insert intro here. Jingle bells, Midgar smells, Fort Condor laid an egg... and so on*
Sephiroth sends Cloud off into the air on his merry way, then goes to join him in the general area, because Christmas is about togetherness and peace and love and all that.
...I mean, presents. General consensus is, Christmas is about presents. Right.
IT'S THE CRAZY EYES AGH.
Cloud thinks this lesson is boring and that Sephiroth needs to shut up, get naked put on some swaddling clothes, and go lay in a manger. Two of the three wise men left standing are coming for him soon.
zOMG CAPTAIN PLANET Suddenly Jack Frost nips at their noses, making Sephiroth's spirits bright.
Only if there's a lot of nudity involved.
...and Sephiroth goes in for his kiss (and gets his Santa on. Yeah, to tell you the truth, I had no idea to introduce the Santa thing, STFU).
Denzel's brain hurts o noez. That's what happens when little boys misbehave, Denzel. Sephy Claus watches you all year 'round since you live with Cloud and all!
LOLOL kids r dum OF COURSE SANTA'S REAL.
*insert flashes of the Virgin Mary whee!~*
FIGHT SCENE The two head up a gratuitous display of glad tidings and good will towards hot men.
Sephiroth: "'Don we now our gay apparel'..."
Cloud: "Aren't you already wearing yours?"
They go around Midgar, fighting 'til acquiescence a-wassailing among the sky leaves so green.
Sephiroth then bids Cloud adieu so he can go out to the mall (which is uber fucking mobbed). There he has a great time getting pushed and shoved around by hefty soccer moms as he looks for the best gift for Cloud. When he finds nothing, he remembers that he is Sephy Claus and has more important duties -- not to mention a magical sack full of CHRISTMAS-Y GOODNESS -- waiting at home.
"You didn't send Mother a card."
Sephiroth goes on to trim the tree, and on his own whim, Cloud trims it even more. That doesn't make Sephiroth a happy camper -- fucking trees went up 60 gil this year, and Cloud just hacked off one whole damn side. Cloud's defense is, they could always make the flat side face the wall. Smart people know this must be done anyway.
Cloud isn't surprised; Sephiroth usually did give some lousy gifts. He's just relieved that Sephiroth doesn't bake the seasonal fruitcake anymore after that fiasco seven years ago -- it took an entire nine days for Zack to regain consciousness, so it's only natural that Sephiroth isn't too keen on baking now.
...unfortunately, Sephiroth found the despair in a bargain bin, so Cloud can't bring it back if he doesn't like it, not even for store credit. Even so, Sephiroth has big plans to wrap it prettily, in a big box drowning in ribbon to make it look like something expensive -- and besides, it's the thought that counts (but to be honest, he only chose to give Cloud despair because it was close to the register that had the shortest line).
Disappointed that Sephiroth is a bit of a Scrooge (and told him his gift, the moron), Cloud tries to fix him with a good dose of holiday cheer by flashing rainbow sparks and stringing up spastic chaser lights -- the kind that plays MUSIC. (Yes, he's a Scrooge even when he's going to be Santa. It doesn't make sense, but who cares? This whole damn thing makes no sense, it's just a bunch of random references to Christmas traditions.)
They fight, fight, fight, fight join together to pass out the presents, drinking eggnog all the while! Spending time with loved ones! Happy things yay!
Sephiroth lights Midgar on fire the fourth candle on the Advent wreath and sits by the open fire, roasting chestnuts and sipping hot cocoa with marshmallows in it, dreaming of a white Christmas. Then it snows by the sheer power of Sephiroth's will cuz he so kewlies lol.
Taking Cloud's hand, Sephiroth brings him out to go walkin' in a winter wonderland. Sephiroth keeps his eyes peeled for Parson Brown (who he plans on killing if he doesn't ask them the question, because that would mean he doesn't respect equal rights for gay marriage and OMG deserves to be smote!!1). To stop this very badfic-sounding digression, suffice it to say that they don't find him, so they go home.
*stabbity* With catlike elegance and mad OMG-I-NO-HOW-2-USE-MAH-SWORRRDDD!!!1 skill, Sephiroth carves the turkey that Cloud spent five hours cooking. Yeah, before Christmas. This is happening on the 23rd. It's for practice, since Cloud wants things to go perfect; it's his first year hosting the festivities.
What an awesome question.
Cloud knows that would make it, like, the best Christmas EVER, but suddenly he remembers all the people he still needs to shop for.
What Sephiroth said also upset him a bit.
Unlike Sephiroth, Cloud's had the pleasure of reading A Visit from St. Nicholas (to Denzel and Marlene), you see...
He moves on to deck the halls with Omnislash Version 5 boughs of holly, then hangs the stockings by the chimney with care, in hopes that Saint Sefiros soon would be there.
...which would be breaking and entering. ShinRa kind of sucks at upholding the peace anyway, so it's not like he'd get punished for it. I always make Cloud rob that little kid in Sector 5 out of his measly five gil (because I'm mean) and he hasn't gotten in trouble for it yet -- that's gotta be saying something.
Me too.
Radiant beams from Thy holy face, with dawn of redeeming grace. Sing, choirs of angels, sing in exultation; O sing, all ye citizens of heaven above! [/doesn't really know her carols]
I thought he already was?
With those final words, visions of sugarplums dance in his head as Sephiroth slee~eeps in heavenly pe~eace.
The end.
...what the hell just happened? I think they became a couple or something halfway through, but other than that... no clue.